When I woke up there was a great measure of numbness in my upper body. The idea of walking again seemed almost impossible with the painful reality. As I looked back on my thoughts, it was simple to understand the effects of anesthesia and surgery by using my own idiopathic scoliosis spinal fusion as a reference. Although this type of surgery does not commonly arise in conversation, there are vast numbers of individuals around the world that have overcome the pressures scoliosis brought upon their lives. The stories withheld by other victims and myself can be uplifting for other scoliosis sufferers and even inspire those who do not possess the disorder. Cassius O’Brien, a New York teen, can closely relate to the adversity of spinal surgery through his own experience.
One of the biggest disappointments as a scoliosis patient is the day you have to accept surgery. “I was very shocked by my condition and that I would have to go through with the surgery,” said O’ Brien. He had practiced physical therapy twice a week for two years before and never anticipated what his spine had in store for him: a 70 to 80 degree curvature. A year prior to my own tragic day, I had tried bracing and wore my brace sporadically around the house while taking note that my spine had made some gradual changes as it didn’t fit as well into the brace. Later, an x-ray revealed that my scoliosis had increased to a seventy-two degree curvature. As scoliosis patients, we have heard and read about individuals receiving surgery while hoping that it won’t get that serious or go that far. However, we were oblivious to the fact that our spines were gradually twisting inside of us creating a portrait of surgical potential. Optimism is always a great escape. “I knew that I would grow 2 to 3 inches and that I would live an almost pain free life for years to come after I recovered and healed,” O’Brien realized about the outcomes.
“I was very calm for a person about to go through something so important,” O’Brien admitted about the day of surgery. As he entered NYU Langone Medical Center on July 18, 2014, it was easy to obtain a sense of peace as he had been mentally prepped by the many pre-operative appointed consultations. He only had a few fears as he was wheeled on the gurney to the operating room. “Seeing the equipment the surgeons would use and being in the bright room with masked people in full gear was very scary, but I was soon under anesthesia so that was all I remembered,” stated O’Brien. I seemed to have had the same feeling myself on my way into Dell Children’s hospital of Austin, Texas the morning of June 20, 2014. After you have heard a doctor speak about your own deformity and the complications it has brought upon you, you begin to become more acceptant of the benefits of surgery. O’Brien and I seemed to have inhabited the same silent agreement between our mentality and the inevitable.
The first observations I recalled about arising from anesthesia were not very pleasant. Large machines sat by my hospital bed in the ICU monitoring my oxygen levels, blood pressure and heartbeat. The worst of it all was the pains which the morphine drip machine helped manage. Although O’Brien cannot recall vivid detail of his awakening, he does remember how he felt. “Most of what I know about how I was reacting was from my parents,” O’Brien said. “I know that I was sad and in a lot of pain.” Different actions helped our drug filled systems forget the pain we experienced. O’Brien’s approach had much more humor than my own past-time of sending lengthy meaningless texts to my friends. “Because of my feelings I asked my parents if I could curse,” the teen stated, “so when they said yes I just started saying all of the curse words I could think of in my drug infused state.” Finding it humorous, O’Brien’s parents documented the moment by filming.
Idiopathic spinal fusions can change the way you temporarily think and how you permanently participate in daily activities. Continuous pain can lead to rash decisions and statements you don’t truly mean, but these reactions go away as the pain fades. “I had to let my body relax and let the pain wash by so that I could be comfortable again,” O’Brien shared. This tactic also seemed to assist my pain along with distracting myself with the drama series: “Pretty Little Liars”. Distractions became a large part of the healing process for me, however eventually the need for them began fading as my strength came back in full swing. “I now feel that I can endure more pain than someone who wasn’t in my position,” said O’Brien.
The influence and epiphanies that the scoliosis victim obtains is the most important part of the entire experience. What you learn from your adversity becomes what you associate to the entire story. Although my own pain was brutal, I realize that there are families sitting in hospitals watching each rise and fall of their child’s chest just wondering which will be the last. When I realized everything was going to turn out beneficial, I felt almost foolish for worrying before hand. “Though I still suffer with having limited movement in my back, numbness of different areas, and times of discomfort, I can look on the bright side of things and see that I got taller, healthier, and overcame a struggle the most people in their lives won’t deal with at my age,” revealed O’Brien.  There’s so much to be seen with the soul, heard with the soul and felt with the soul that gets blocked by the mental filter of fear in dangerous situations. Don’t miss the beauty of a new perspective.