I’ve never been close with distant relatives. I can meet them a bunch of times, but still never remember their names when I see them at the next family party. Although the Funasaki family isn’t actually blood related to me, for my entire life, I’ve always considered them to be family. My Aunty Lori Funasaki was my mom’s best friend in high school, but I went through most of my life thinking she was my real aunty. I wasn’t aware we weren’t actually related until my mother told me. I consider myself to have a closer bond with the Funasaki family than with the rest of the Oshiro family. If it weren’t for the common last name, I might’ve not known I’m related to them.

Throughout my childhood, I remember seeing and talking to Down Grandma almost every month. I was able to see her every time my mom would go on a work trip, every New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day. I have many memories of her, most of them being good ones. Grandma Haruyo Fujimoto was also known as Down Grandma. She was called Down Grandma because she was my Aunty Lori’s mom. Down Grandma was 90 years old, around 5’ tall, and all of 89 pounds. She was small, but her presence was much bigger. Her clothing style was like any other in their old age. She wore dresses almost all the time, usually ones with small patterns. I remember her being super caring and generous, offering the things that she had. She would always enjoy just being able to sit there with everyone even if she wasn't able to do anything. If we were playing games on the Wii console, she was smiling during the moments when she could. Since I was young, I can’t remember every fact about her, but I knew that her life and her family’s life weren’t all that easy.

The first time I remember meeting Down Grandma, I wasn’t aware of what type of problems she had to go through. As a child, I didn’t understand the types of issues that took place in the world. Down Grandma had dementia. She couldn’t remember a lot of details of her life, or things that she just heard. When I used to ride in the car with her, she would always have to read a packet or journal written out for her filled with details about her life like what her name was and how old she was. She also constantly asked me what my name was or who I was. I felt that every five minutes she would ask the same questions she had asked earlier. She would also have to be reminded constantly to reread her life journal. Sometimes when I was at their house every day, I would see her and her family struggle constantly because of the dementia. My Aunty Lori would always say "What are you supposed to be doing?" Down Grandma usually didn't know what she was supposed to be doing but when my Aunty Lori said "Read your packet.”, she would remember and say "Okay." I would get a feeling of sadness inside of me every time I saw it happen. Seeing her reminded me that life gets harder. Down Grandma was usually smiling, but when it was a true smile, it just kind of made my day. Her smile was contagious and made me feel as if I were looking at a cute puppy. I just wanted to smile because of her. For those short moments, I was able to forget any type of problem I had at the time. It made me realize that if someone with a harder problem than me can find a way to be happy, even if they do it unconsciously, then so can I.

In some ways, I feel that Down Grandma has given me more perspective on life than any of my other relatives. She helped me open my eyes and see problems I thought were big and important, were actually small. I wish that she were still around today, smiling and making my day better. I miss her more than I used to. A lot of times I forget what life used to be like when she was around. It was mainly harder for my Aunty, but I liked having her around. Although I never actually thought about Down Grandma until recently, I realized Down Grandma’s presence stuck with me.