Home was never something physical for her.  Home was only home if it felt like home.  A comfortable bed wasn’t ‘home’.  A dog in the backyard wasn’t ‘home’.  Spaghetti made by Mom, but served cold to her hungry family on a fogged glass dining room table, still wasn’t ‘home’.  Home only existed in her heart.  She felt at ‘home’ with her darling pet rabbit sleeping in her arms, or when her mother told her how great her artwork was, then her mother cried when she presented a portrait of her grandfather who had passed away at a young age.  To her, ‘home’ was love.  When she felt an unconditional love surrounding her, she was home.  Unfortunately, that was rare.  Only her mother made her feel at home.  Her father and her older brother didn’t hold much place in her life, they never treated her like her mother did.  Her mother made her feel like royalty, like she could accomplish anything in life.

When her parents divorced, she lost touch with home … lost touch with love.  She was alone in a new town with a new life that she’d never asked for.  With becoming lonely, she also grew sad.  She sat in the basement at night, tried to bury her sorrow in a video game.  She hid from her pain for a year, grew very quiet and cautious around others.  She became a listener, lost her ability to talk about herself.  On a night just like all of the others, she started up her gaming console and came across someone new … this person changed her life.  He talked to her like no one ever had before.  He asked her to open up to him, to share her sadness with him, and she did.  He befriended her and learned everything he could about her … she became his whole world and that was exactly what she needed.  He pulled her from the sorrow that clouded her vision, rescued her from darkness, and finally made her feel a sense of home again.

June 26, 2015
She spotted him first, from the bottom of the airport escalator, in ‘baggage claim’.  He was shorter than she’d expected, lighter too.  About 5’5 with beige smooth skin.  His eyes so dark you couldn't tell what separated the iris from the pupil.  He combed his hand through his short dark hair and stood within the crowd, scanning for her.  Her heart grew loud in her chest, her palms hot.  She pulled her long black dress up off the floor, and skidded forward, freezing behind an adjacent escalator wall.  She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, her stomach gathering in her throat.  She rubbed her lips together, and hurried along the wall, coming up on the other side of the escalator … she could feel herself resisting their introduction.  She peaked around the corner to see his side, the handle of a black carry-on suitcase was in his hand.  He slowly took a step forward, contemplating where to go, where to find her.  He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed her number. She watched him do this, with her phone in her hand, she knew he was calling her.  She quickly swiped left on the screen, dismissing the call.  She gathered her courage and stepped onto open ground, her heart dropping as her foot touched the floor.  His eyes met hers, stopping her in her track.  They brought a wave harmony within her … This was real, she wasn’t seeing him from a laptop screen this time.  This was really him - a live, touchable, kissable version of who she already knew so well.  Her throat clogged up and her smile grew wide as he began to move towards her, suitcase rolling at his side.

“Don’t hug me too hard,  I might throw up,” he said, his voice was so clear compared to the way her laptop speakers made him sound.  Hearing it brought joy to her ears, numbing her from the world that bustled around her. 

“I won’t,” she whispered, for that was all she could do.  He let go of his carry-on and held  out his arms, gesturing for her to feel his warmth for the first time.  She fell into him, her dress flowing behind her.  She curled her arms around him, her eyes closed, and her face buried in his neck.  A sort of security flooded her, a feeling of safety.  She wasn’t alone now … and he was real - warm blooded and real.  His touch was all she’d ever dreamed of, it felt of pure love, passion, and desire. 

“I love you,” he whispered, the words floating through the air like a boat floats towards shore.  This was home.  In his arms, feeling the warmth of true love wrap around them.  They were finally home.