Woven Into the Heart

My Letter to you,

I always felt as if people were staring, like people were watching my every move. Then again there is a difference between feeling and then actually being watched. Of course with my luck instead of feeling I got being. Even when there was absolutely no one around, I had always felt the presences and essence of someone else, though I never thought that person would be you. I never saw you like that...a stalker type, a predator watching its prey. I never saw myself as prey, until that day. The day I was gone, out of nowhere I disappeared, from thin plain sight. If I would've known that day would be my last normal one, I would have tried to do more to look right on my side. They said I should avoid any and all contact with you, they said you were trouble and I would regret talking to someone like you. Though the way they meant it did not relate to the  real reason I shouldn’t have spoken to you. To them you were just some weird outcast that would ruin my reputation because I hadn’t done so already. The real reason I shouldn’t have talked to you was because you wanted something, craved something actually, that apparently only I could provide. I have to concede though, your plan was very well backed up, and it was absolutely clear that you were no novice. I was naive, Extremely naive to NOT see the signs, and it is something I still hold against me, even till this day. I just can’t move on, or forgive myself. I can not forget the things that were done between me and you, you and I. There was a spark, but not a magical spark, one of a  medieval kind. I just wish I would’ve known...I should’ve known.
~~~~~~~~~~~

December 22, 1959  8:53 a.m.  Austin, Arizona

I woke up frantically and out of breathe, I couldn’t breath...now to think of it I couldn’t see either. It was like there was a gray vail shielding my eyes away from the rest of the world, well that and the lack of windows, so all I seemed to see was gray bulges of nothingness. The room I was in looked as if it was white, that is to my gray eyes. Since my eyes were to no use, I had to use my ears. Silence. No wind, whisperes, voices or creaks of floorboards. There was the sound of pause...no life, nothing. There was a whole lot of nothing. No sight, no noise, no sound, no smell, no nothing. My next option was sense of touch, considering I was sleeping I knew I was on a bed, but on a bed where. I knew since I “seen” with my not so helpful eyes the colors gray and white, that I wasn’t in my room, for my room was green to reflect my mood. The bed I appeared to be lying in was too firm for comfort, especially for me. Then in attempt to move I stretch out my arm but instantly a sharp pain shot and raced throughout my body, past my arm and tingled in the tips of my fingers. Grasping the air I remain to stay quiet for the place I seemed to be taking “refuge” in was still very unknown to me.I yank the thick sheets from off of me and realize how I was drenched in sweat. Cautiously I slide my feet from in the middle of the bed to the side of it. Slowly I remove myself from the bed and try to gain steady on the ground. The room whizzes past me, running circles around my head. Then while trying to hold up, I collapse with the ground and my vision turns to white.
~~~~~~~~
December 17, 1959  New Life, San Diego  6:23 p.m.

“Okay mom I’m going out now”
“Going out? Tonight? Honey I got that feeling”
“Mom it's with Jamie and Alyssa, we’ll be fine”
“Ok..I guess it's just with everything that has been going on I may just be a little..” “Overprotective. It's okay, I understand. I’ll be back by 10”
“Ok...I love you Vanessa”
“I love you too mom.” I rush toward the door before my mom has the chance to deter me from leaving. As I open the door the cold wind slaps and brushes past and around my face.
“I’ll see you soon” I say to reassure her. I then close the door and head down the steps toward my car. Snow falls and rests on my ruler straight hair. My complexion of Snow White, pale skin and red lips, but instead of black hair mine is brown. As I place my hand on the handle of the car I glance up and see my mom staring through the window of our bricked house. Though she was hiding behind the curtain and had a smile plastered on her face it was very overt that she didn’t want me to go. Though I did anyway. I met with Alyssa once I got to the coffee shop. Jamie was inside but then came out.

“Finally Vanessa, I was beginning to think you weren’t going to come” Begins Jamie
“Sorry my mom was giving me difficulties yet again.”
“Was she having another one of here spells again“ Jamie then laughs at her own comment
“Hey Jamie” protests Alyssa “don’t be so inconsiderate”
“Nah, it’s okay Alyssa” I say just to let it show it had not gotten to me ”it’s funny” I then fake a laugh and then she cuts me off
“She was having an episode, not a spell...there is a difference you know, or at least you would know if you weren’t so stupid”
“Oh no need for name calling, maybe we just just go inside….”
“She’s like one of those people who need to be placed in an insane asylum” Jamie continues cutting me off.
“The correct terms for stupid people like you is a mental hospital” It really didn’t bother me but I didn’t want to be that person who gets walked all over on
“ENOUGH! The lady you’re talking about..yea her DAUGHTER is right here” an awkward silence now filled the air. I looked at the two, who were now just standing there foolishly with nothing to say. “Let’s go inside” I begin “let’s try not to do anything to make things more awkward for us. Alyssa then led the way inside the cafe. The essence of the room was warm, it filled me up inside like your face as a child on christmas day when fresh baked chocolate chip cookies come out of the stove. You face lights up the world with a smile of complete and utter joy and you laugh hysterically. The aroma inside is of sweet yet bitter freshly brewed coffee. Students were all over the place, it was jammed packed. All of them, separated in their groups, like animals in a zoo. Jamie and Alyssa pull me toward the jock’s table. Carelessly the sit next to James Reynolds number 62, and Aiden Skywalker number 78, and I am left standing there staring out into oblivion. Glancing over the table I try to find a seat, in one of the “ever so many chairs”, none come into view. I take an overwhelming look around the non-welcoming cafe, I see brand new tables, polished, with a shimmering glow, high stood up stools, and flat screen televisions. I find a hallway, the light clearly showing in needs its lightbulb to be switched in for one of its brothers, looking past its eye irritating flicker I see a shadow, run from one side toward the other. I stare, trying to make out the figure, and in too much focused concentration I am startled when a hand is placed on my shoulder. Rapidly I spin around to see a purple and white Jersey.
“Jayden” says a voice. Gradually I look up, into his hazel eyes
“Jayden” he says again though this time it seems more as a question then a statement. “Quarterback of the football team, Jayden Freeman, and you are”
“My name is Vanessa, Vanessa Burnes” He stare a considerate yet inhibiting stare.
“Oh, you're that new girl here...right”
“yea,” I begin “that is unless you’ve seen me here otherwise” He chuckles at my comment.
“Oh look at that we got a jokester in the house.” I smile at his comment, he then gestures me to come with him to get a coffee. Reluctantly I follow, being with him that short period of time I found out that he had came here freshmen year from a school in Colombia but was actually British. He joined the football team because apparently people were teasing him. Imagine that, people teasing him. He was like absolutely perfect, the question why, rang in my mind.
“You know Vanessa, out of my 3 years of being here I found out that the real reason many people
tease is because you have something they want, its when they stop talking then you should worry.” His accent catches and wraps around my attention.
“Why is that” I ask to try and seem interested even though it was his voice I wanted to hear more of.
“Because if they stop talking that means you lost what you once had. You lost what was there, what they wanted.” He then signals me to go back to the table and I go. Suddenly my surroundings grow dead silent and it was my thoughts that repeat and repeat in my mind. My conscience yelling and screaming at me to look back, I fight with myself, not wanting to but once the ranting had brought me to my breaking point I glance back. Then I saw the same looking shape shadow I saw race from one side of the hallway to the other earlier, in a vision, it was coming at me, every time the light flickered closer and closer it came. Overtaking me, shaking me down, taking me alive, I race my head back forward. I sat at one of the “ever so many seats at the jock table” I look toward Jamie and Alyssa, the energy they had that was once at 100 had dramatically dropped to a 5 percent. Jayden was finally coming back, as he sat down he pushed forth a coffee for me, I smiled and then gingerly took a sip. A half hour later I was in the same state that Jamie and Alyssa were in. I push myself up.” walk it off” I tell myself.
“Hey where are you going” Jayden asks “oh so sweet” I think,
“I just need to go to the bathroom” I say blankly. It feels like decades and centuries to get to the hallways leading to the bathrooms. The flickering irritates my eyes, squinting I make out the sign that tells me it is the girls bathroom I am standing in front of. I place my hand on the door and while in the progress of pushing forward I am snagged back and a towel is placed over and covers my mouth and nose, in attempt of squirming to break free, my head hits the corner of the wall and door and I am set out cold.
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December 22, 1959  12:34 p.m.  Austin, Arizona

“Ness, ness, hey wake up” calls a voice. I shift around from my left side to my right. I notice I am not as hot as earlier, but when I look under the thin plain white covers I notice that my jeans and long sleeved turtleneck was no longer on my body.
“It’s okay” he says “all I did was take them off. You were drenched in sweat and on the floor when I walked in. You were running a fever so I tried to help. Your other clothes are now in the wash, if you want spare then there are other clothes in the dresser.”
“very comforting” I think to myself. Though I had no clue who was in the other side of the room, I had no problem with just getting up and putting on clothing, but something was holding me back. Forcing open my eyes once more I notice that the vail that was once there was now gone. I’m scared to see who was it at the other end of the room.
“Where am I“ I ask.
“You’ll find out soon enough” I look back under the covers and then a disturbing thought enters view.
“How old are you” my voice grows to a mere whisper.
“I didn’t do anything to you”
“I asked you how old you are”
“fine, same age as you, just a year older, but I truly did nothing”
“yea I totally believe you” I comment back in my head.

My Letter to you,

You were the one, hiding and running back and forth in the shadows. The one who grabbed and yanked me back then placed the ammonium cloth over my nose and mouth. You probably bribed one of the coffee makers to drug mine. IT WAS ALL YOU. I bet if Jayden would’ve know he would’ve saved me. But NO  you!, you ruined everything. My chance to be understood, to start over. Everything that was in finger tips reach you grabbed and pulled away from me farther and farther, further and further you pulled. Till it was no longer in eyesights view. You had stolen it.

December 22, 1959  12:59 p.m.
You know you can’t stay laying down forever Vanessa” it is a different voice talking to me now. This one more familiar, like I heard it before.
“You’re going to have to get up and move on with your life”
“NO. I don’t want to be here...WITH YOU. If I close my eyes long enough I should go back to where I once was” I say, trying to hold back my tears. “You’re not going back. We saved you” this voice had an accent one so familiar.
“Who are you” I ask.
“That I cannot say”
“Why not” I shoot back
“For once you see me you will understand. But we did save you. You will soon be thanking me”
“Wait, we?” I go over what he had just said.
“We? What do you mean we….I uh… I said me”
“No you didn’t you said we, as in we saved you. Who is we. you is me, who is we”
“I told you I said me”
“Me saved you doesn’t make sense”
“I no have proper english” while he talks an accent trickles in my ear, The name that it belongs to was near, yet so far. Who was it. I feared opening my eyes to find out.
“The person talking to me earlier had a different voice, who else is here?”
“No one” he was still protesting that it was just him and I in this unknown place, before I would ask again I decided I would just get up from lying down and see who was the face in the other side of the room. Slowly making shift, aches were eating away at me inside, half my bones felt as if they were sleeping for decades. Once I was almost in the sit up position I hear rustling noises and then the door close. I sit up and open my eyes, he was no longer in the room. With each aching move pure agony covered and ate my body from head to toe. After a good 10 minutes I managed to maneuver myself out of the bed. I walked, well dragged, my feet towards the dresser and reveal to me what was inside the top drawer.  My fingers barely with any sense of touch, wrapped in what looked like bandages. I open the drawer to see gray white beige and black t-shirts lying there all according to color and size, one size my size. The drawer below was the same thing but instead of shirts they were shorts. “Wonderful” I think to myself, “not only am I stuck in a place with a person or people I don’t know, but I am stuck in a place with a person or people that have no recognition of other colors. I decide to pull on the black shorts and white t-shirt. Crazy, the way it fit, perfectly, exactly my size. Steadiness had now risen inside of me, I had focused vision. I look at the room, a room with nothing, no clue to tell me where it was I was. I enter upon the door and place my hand on the handle, I twist the knob to see a long corridor. I want to walk the long hall, see where each door leads to, but time, was the one thing that I was unsure I had enough of. I stand and stay in the way of my exit and the door of my interest. I decide to go toward my interest door and find out what is on the other side. Once my hand is placed on the handle, I hear muffled whispers creep through the apparently thin walls, I try to open the door but with my extent of luck it was locked. I twist and turn, pull and push, and while in the progress, I struggle with myself to remain quiet. The muffled whispering stops, and I freeze, begging to a or any almighty power to keep anyone from seeing me. The conversation goes on and I gingerly move away from the door and find my way into the kitchen. My stomach speaks and roars, but I know better than to give in to my hunger cravings. I glance around for anything I can use against anyone. Any sharp objects, or items, but nothing was out in the open or in eyes sight. I walk to the sink and pull open a drawer, spoons, forks and butter knives enter view.
“Not sharp enough” I whisper to myself. I then open the next drawer over, it had it. A knife, with a cover. Under the cover is a fresh sharp blade, it looked as if it had never been used. I place the cover back on and then tucked the knife into my waistband. I hear the click of a door and I crouch down frozen.
“I know...I know” he says “I almost screwed up big time. I’m sorry, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again” The voice had an accent beginning to creep out of the shadows. I get up and try to make shift my way towards the escape. Footsteps...many, come down the long corridor.
“Its go time” I think and start running toward the door.
“wait…..NO…”
“Where is she going?”
“I don’t know...Vanessa...Vanessa Stop” Footsteps are chasing after me, but I felt long gone, yet I still heard the faint yelling of
“Stop”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Letter to you,

You and your ways confuse me. All I knew was I didn’t want to see you or the other you. I wasn’t stupid, I couldn’t see at either time but I could still hear the shifts of voices. My question was why. Why did you take me? Why wouldn't you tell me you name? Or age? Where it was I was? Why did your voice sound so familiar to me, but then so different? How did I ge?t here? What happened in the progress of getting here? Who? What? When? Where? How? How did I get here
~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 17, 1959  New Life, San Diego, 7:59 p.m.
“Let’s go, help me pick her up”
“I don’t know, this doesn’t feel right”
“Now this doesn’t feel right. Not before when you were talking to her, or when you were drugging the coffee, or even when you were watching her free life slip away”
“It just isn’t right”
“Well it’s too late Den, so man up and lets go, or we’ll both get in trouble.” Hair falls over his eyes while he tries to help him pick her up.
“You know what, Imma’ go start the car, Den you just carry her ”
“But”
“Now!” Gently he picks her up and they enter a manager only door. They find their way to an exit and reach the car. The ride is filled with the silence of breathing. His greenish brownish eyes fill with gloom as he whispers to her.
“I’m sorry”
“stop talking to the girl, It ain’t like she hears you” Hesitant he takes in a breath, he drags his head back down. Instantly nails scratch and claw at his face. Pushing her away he tries to shield himself, but the scratching and clawing begin to penetrate through his skin. The brakes are slammed and her body lunges forward.
“Den!! Take care of her will you”
“What do you want me to do”
“Take care of it”
“HOW?”
“You know what fine!” The driver gets out from the car, yanks open the rear door and grabs her from the back seat with his ruthless and merciless grip. She his held up by her shoulders and then a bang comes from the outside of the car as her body then falls on the floor.  The boy who was no older than 18 goes into the trunk and finds a pair of pliers. He holds her down with most of his body and then grabs her hands and beging to pull the nails from out of her fingers. One by one, piece by piece. Effort in which is used in the yanking but he doesn’t stop, until he goes through each finger.
“No stop…” Her screams drown out his plea. “Stop, you’re hurting her. He is thrown back with an elbow.
“I wouldn’t have to if you would’ve dealt with this” The last nail is pulled out and carelessly he throws her back into the back seat by her hair. As he enters the driver's seat he wipes his red hands over his clothes. Her hands still bleeding continuously. Tears flood her face, which was red from her chronic screaming. “I’m so sorry” Her eyes faintly open to see a blurry image of Jayden, but then he fades away as she closes her eyes to go hide away in a 5 day sleep.
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December 22, 1959  12:59 p.m. Austin, Arizona
My feet burning, aching of heat and pain. I only seem to ask myself what was I thinking when I didn’t put my shoes on. Finally I gave up and stopped. Where was I going, I hadn’t seen a road or river, city or any sight of life anywhere. I fell onto my knees, all there was was sand. The sun seeming in the middle of the sky signifying noon. I lost hope, and buried myself in the sound of my sobs, I had no clue where I was and I expected to reach a city find out where I was and find a way home. My plans had not fallen through the way I thought, so I just cried. Cried and sobbed. I was crying so much and so loud that I never heard the sound of the blue Mustang come raveling behind me. The door slams and arms wrap around me forming a bear hug and I am then carried back to the car. I look and accept the fact that I was not the only one trapped here. Jayden was too, and it would be our battle to escape.

My Letter to you,
My life as a free person was gone thanks to you. I am a gone person, who can see the sorrow and gloom in his eyes. We will soon Escape.