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This is London, 1883
June 10, 2011
Summary:
Elizabeth Griffin has always been one of those girls who doesn't like to do what she is told. She doesn't like to wear her dress or follow the rules of society. Until, her mother says that her family has fallen into poverty. Elizabeth will have to decide what to do, fast. All the while, trying to choose between two men. One who could make her happy, and the other who could save her family.
Claire C.
This is London, 1883
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This book has 4 comments.
just-another-url GOLD said...
on Jun. 16 2011 at 7:26 am
My pleasure, and I can't wait to read more !
DayDreamer74 said...
on Jun. 15 2011 at 3:30 pm
Thanks. And sorry about the Alice and Elizabeth thing. Her name was Elizabeth but then it was changed to Alice. I'm still working on the grammar and things. I had little time for this it's still a work-in-progress. Thanks for the help!
just-another-url GOLD said...
on Jun. 15 2011 at 2:59 pm
This is confusing, is the girl called alice or elizabeth ? And the title says 'london', so you should write mum and not mom. Apart from that the story is interesting, you do repeat phrases and words ( ex : house, instead of saying it over again, use home ) but you'll get better at it. reread your work over and over, change things you don't like, or you're not sure about. And sometimes, you don't apply the correct grammar. But don't let me get you down, you've down a good job, and the story is something that appeals :) Please write more.
79 articles 0 photos 210 comments
Favorite Quote:
Don't be a victim; be a titan.
Victorian-London is my favorite era in history to read about. You have the right atmosphere, I must say.
But, you keep switching between past and present tense, and there are quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes, but those are easily corrected.
Your story reminds me of a mixture of The Luxe and Gemma Doyle series. If you haven't read them, you should. They take place in Victorian-England, and will help you with more knowledge of the time.
Anyway, I do enjoy what you've written so far, and good luck in finishing it!