“The Reality of New York”
“Does the pain ever stop”?,I asked him with looks of hope on my face.
He then got up from his position in the bed ,and kissed my forehead ,looked in my eyes and sighed,”Eventually,Love”.
Eventually..
“What do you mean, eventually”?
“I mean that in time , your pain will end and so will mine,but we’ll still cross each other's minds”.
     
      ……
August 2nd was the last time I ever saw him ,and by this point I was numb.Emotions weren’t a go to anymore.I’d rather write than think.So my schedule was the same everyday.
1.)Get up, get ready for my day
2.)Go to work at Wilhelmina to recruit more beautiful people to the agency
3.) Get off work,go to the bar down the street PS450 ,and order a strawberry margarita on the                                                                                                                                               rocks,maybe write a few thoughts down.
4.)Go to the Buttercup Bake shop across the street,and pig out on the buttercream cupcakes 5.)Get a cab home
6.)Let myself into my studio and fall right to sleep
And that has been my schedule since he left.I know, I know,I live in the city , why don’t I go have fun.
Here’s the reality, the city life isn’t all it's made out to be.Living in NYC you feel like you're constantly running , and it gets tiring.Moving at fast paces and keeping up with crowds,every once in a while you get an obstacle, like a homeless man begging for money,but then again you can never tell if they’re real or not.Sometimes there’s random breaks of song , or a proposal in the middle of times square.Every day is filled with “OOO’s” and “AAHH's”, but it's not like, that not really.
I'm sure you see movies like Breakfast at Tiffany’s or King Kong and you can’t help but think of  how “amazing” New York must be.But I’m here to cloud your judgement.
      …….
I work at a modeling agency,I recruit beautiful people for a living.In other words,I judge people for a living.Looking at them from head to toe,labeling them by measurements and facial features.I get paid big bucks for it too, and amazing clothes, as well as shoes, and the hottest things of the season.Kind of sick right,kind of messed up?Well that's just how it works here. I feel like one of those people firing an actor,”That’s show biz hun”, with a thick city accent,but instead I’m saying ,”That’s New York for you baby”.New York is a town filled with signs that glow and say “world’s best cup of coffee”,new york is a place full of “amazing” pizza joints(they all taste the same),where people that live upstate think they are way better than you, simply just because they live upstate.New York is where all the people that had no idea who they were going to be, or who they are going to be came and come to “find themselves”,because after all New York City is where “all dreams come true”. Right?
……
I met Andy in the modeling agency , I recruited him solely based on his sharp jawline and sarcastic sense of humor.I wasn’t interested in him until he approached me.Asked me on a date to a restaurant, a pizza place, one he claimed was the best out of thousands. I found it rediculous ,a model even thinking about eating bread, or pizza for that matter, “all the carbs” some of the girls would scream at the agency. But he had no issue scarfing down half a pizza by himself and the other half was probably eaten after the date that night. I didn’t fall for his looks , yeah sure he was attractive, but he was so much more than something to look at,he was deep ,and there was so much to him.When you thought you knew everything about him there was always something new to learn and listen to.I think that’s what  was eventually what lead me away from him, and one night at a dinner with friends , it hit me , Andy wasn’t my guy.The amount of mystery was draining , I felt I would never truly know him.Andy and New York had a lot in common,something you thought was going to be great but wasn’t.All about pizza and other people.But there was also the mystery.The fact that you never know what happens after midnight in the dark alleys of NYC, just like you never knew what Andy was thinking in his head at 4am.And maybe that’s what made me realize I hate New York and I hate Andy. Actually I don’t hate Andy, I thank him for the lesson.I have had my stuff packed for the past few months,I’ve been ready to leave.But I just couldn’t do it, not until now.After a bottle of vodka and a while of thinking about life I can do it.I pick up the 1st box and carry it downstairs, leaving the door open.Out into the freezing cold of the north ,and shove the compact box in the back of my car , climb the millions of stairs that lead to my studio.It smells like him , ugh memories are not what I need…
I turned the corner , and sitting there blonde hair shaggy and swooshed over his ocean blue eyes , was Andy.
  “ANDY”!
I couldn’t help myself. Maybe New York wasn't so bad. andy.