I have this recurring dream that never finished and thought nothing really of how real it felt. Out in the woods no woods I have seen before, standing in a blue dress the dragged behind me and snow was falling the ground had a new sheet of snow just laid down. I would start walking around no one seemed to be there. After the first group of trees there was to drops of blood on the snow and then two feet away a beautiful dagger was laying. As I got closer I would wake up as if I wasn’t meant to see no more. Normally cold as if my body had gotten frost bite. I never tell anyone about this dream or any of my dreams for that matter.

I live with my grandparents; I don’t know who my father is. Well expect his last name which I have. There is no record of this guy that I can find. But my mother passed away after giving birth to me. My grandparents can’t stand to look at me sometimes because they remember that I killed their daughter. But sometimes I don’t think they realize I lost a mother in the process. I am told stories of my mother and to what I understand she had many rebellious days and I think that’s why grandparents are so striated. She always got in trouble, she always was sneaking out and not returning until the next morning. This is part of the reason the town doesn’t like us. She runway at the age of sixteen with her childhood sweet heart after a five years he left her and came back but she remained in New York. According to my grandparents she came back six years later pregnant with me. She told them that she didn’t want my father to know that she was pregnant that it would be too much. So she came home to change her life around. They never said what she was doing in New York, but I knew not to ask. I was told not to bring up the sad past but thrive forward.   

We live in a typical small town everyone knew everyone. Which meant one person didn’t just know that person they knew your family by name including birthdays and their favorite color. That’s the kind of town I live in and lucky me my family is the outsiders of this town. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know everybody here already and almost everything about them. My grandparents’ house at the very far end of town and not many people come out here because even though the town is excluding so much. My grandparents’ house was more excluded, honestly that’s how I like it. Not really having to worry about much. My grandparents are strict and have raised me to be respectful. They didn’t let me really do anything expect study and work. There was no fun allowed in my house, ever and I mean ever.

“Emily what are you doing still in bed? You have to go to school, you wouldn’t want to miss you first day?” my grandma came in my room dead bulleting her eyes to me lying in bed still. Oh yea my name is Emily nothing special that’s the name my mom came up awhile before I was born. My grandma chose my middle name after the month I was born June. My grandmother was a tiny lady. She was nice and loved to clean and cook. That’s literally all she did all day every day. Her and my grandfather love each other so deeply it’s that kind of love that will last forever. I sat up in bed and stretched and noticed she was glaring at me for sleeping in.

“I will be ready in five and I will be on my way to school. Sorry for oversleeping.” I looked at her glare became a sympatric smile.

“Breakfast is on the table. Your Grandfather will give you a ride to school but you have hurry or he will leave without you.” She turned and shut the door after I nodded in response. I quickly got out of bed throwing on the outfit I picked the night before. I brushed my hair and put my hair in French braid to control my curly hair. My hair is a dirty blond that made me almost look identical to my mother.  I applied some make up and started at my eyes they are bright purple today…. great. I grabbed my blue colored contacts and put them in. The one thing I think I inherited from my father are my eyes. Nobody in my family have purple eyes or a close shade of blue. People stare at them so I started putting in contacts to hide them.

I made my way downstairs and grabbed a bagel with cream cheese already spread upon it. I smiled and walked to the front door and made my way to my grandpa’s truck. He was standing next to it waiting for me. My grandfather was the opposite of my grandmother, my grandfather is tall and very stubborn when it comes to being right and wrong.

“Good morning dear, Ready to hit the road?” He said walking towards the door to open it. I nodded in response and got in. We started out the long driveway to the main road, our house is covered by trees so we had lots of privacy. Though going down the main road that wasn’t paved any better there was a road and more trees. Finally, at the end of the main road we took a left on to the school house road. About a block down the biggest building other than the super market which was on the right off the main road. Stood the school where a few of my classmates where waiting for the bell to ring so they could go in. The school was the elementary, middle school, and the high school all in one. Grandfather stopped the truck in the semi full parking lot and I got out and grabbed my book bag. “Have good day dear, I won’t be able to pick you up after. So if you would, could you have Jake give you a ride?” Jake is one of my only friends here in this town and my grandparents liked him, but at the moment we were not speaking. But I don’t need my grandpa finding out.

“Yea that’s fine all see you for dinner grandpa.” I waved good bye and he drove off walked up the stairs to the front door. Jake wasn’t waiting for me to my surprise. So I just got in my locker and put my things away and grabbed a folder and a pen. Me and Jake grew up together his father was good friends with my grandfather so he would come over when they were at work and stay. Jake stayed so much he had a room at my house. But after Jake turned fourteen he stopped staying and went to work with my grandfather and his dad.  We haven’t talked all summer he went away with his father on a trip with the company my grandfather decided to stay home. Supposedly there was no cell reception or anything. But I felt that it had more to do with his new girlfriend that seemed not to like me. But then again before he left I told him that I wanted to be more than friends.is instead of him saying anything he left.  

But also to my surprise Jake wasn’t at school at least I didn’t think he was. I made it to my first period class and took a desk in the back. No Jake yet and the bell rang he was never late. Rose came walking in and Mrs. Davis pointed to an empty desk for her to sit in. Mrs. Davis is married Mr. Davis and he owned the flower shop in town. The flowers that they had where so beautiful people would travel miles just to get flowers from them. Mrs. Davis was a sweet lady but she was not a morning person at all. She would drink a pot of coffee before saying a word to anyone.

Rose is the same height of but she had bright blond hair that was straight. She has bright blue eyes that she uses to charm the adults with. Rose was the first new student to come to this area in five years. Her family moved in a couple house down the road from me. Ever sense she arrived she laid her eyes and Jake and wanted him. When she started hanging out with us it was okay at first until she started making moves on Jake. I was uncomfortable with this so I asked him to talk to her next thing I knew they were dating. This made me realize that I liked Jake a little more than I thought.

 This was my second year with Mrs. Davis and she is a nice teacher but definitely doesn’t like people being late for class on top of not finishing her coffee. Moments later of her sitting writing on a slip of paper and walked over to Rose and dropped in on her desk. Rose looked upset and Mrs. Davis made it back to her desk and sat down and took another sip of her coffee. Finally, the announcement went off and are old principal cracked his voice trying to seem all happy. 

“Welcome Back to Green Valley School, this year I hope you have a great year! Reminder lunch will be serviced outside today. There will be information posted on the school website about this year’s Homecoming game and Dance! Have a great day! Please stand for the pledge of allegiance”

We all stood and said the pledge and sat back down. Finally, Mrs. Davis finished her last sip of her coffee and grabbed a sheet of paper that contained the attendance list.  She went through the list I looked around for Jake when she called his name but he still wasn’t here. Rose didn’t even look for him. After sitting through a talk about how this school year will be in history, the bell ranged and we all got up and moved on to are next class. 

I didn’t see Jake the entire day by time lunch rolled around I got called down to the office. I got in and the lady sitting at the desk was Miss. Hop she was old and could hardly see anything she was meant to retire years ago but she just kept her job so she had something to do.

“Hello Emily, I got a call from your Grandfather he is outside waiting for you. Best run along know.” I looked over and head out the door. It was every uncommon for my grandfather to take me out of school early, especially concerning it was the first day. So I pretty much ran to the truck. My grandfather was standing outside of it waiting for me.

“Emily, I have some bad news.” He looked at me I was running thoughts through my head that something happened to grandma or the house burnt down. “Last night while Jake and his dad where on their way home they hit a deer and the truck flipped a couple times… Paul didn’t make it…  Jakes in the hospital and he is fine he has a bad rib but he is okay.” I was crying Paul was a great guy he was like a fun uncle that made you okay when you were upset and know not only didn’t I have him Jake didn’t have him. My grandfather walked over and gave me a hug. “Be strong little one for Jake, Please.”  We got in the truck and I sat there in a daze as my grandfather rushed to the hospital. The nearest hospital where Jake was located was about sixty miles away. In are town we had a small town doctor but for anything big we had to travel fast and quick. We reached the hospital and I was still stunned. We got out at the emergency enters and went in.  “I am looking for Jake Sun; he was brought in last night.”  The nurse sitting at the desk started typing in his computer. The nurse looked back up at us and then down.

“He seems to be in room 34 on the other side of the hospital, you can take the bridge over.” The nurse pointed to a door labeled with bridge walk way. Grandpa nodded and started his way down the bridge I followed. We got to room 34 and went in, Jake was lying there sleeping my grandpa looked at him and then at me.  

“I am going to find a doctor I will be back stay here.” I nodded and out he went. I made my way over to the bed and sat down in the chair. Jake had an ace wrap around his hand and bruise on his eye. Like someone had punched him, there was a iv hooked up to him and he didn’t look really comfortable. Jake is tall and had a cute bad boy look. He has brown hair that matched his brown eyes and he had this smile that made him look like he had a story to tell. Jake had seemed to look more grown up than the last time I saw him. He started opening his eyes and turned his head to look at me. He smiled at first and then took my hand.

  “Hey princess, long time no see.” He smiled again at me, I smiled back in response. His face changed in mood he seemed to be hurting.

“Jake stop calling me that we are not ten anymore.” He laughed and then rubbed his forehead.

“Emily the doctor already told me that…he didn’t make it… I should have been the one driving.” Jake had tears coming down his face.

“Jake, I am sorry I know you would have wanted it to happen differently but that’s not how it works. I am so happy that you’re okay.” He looked back over at me and he was known really crying.

“It should have been me.” Jake is so hurt and I felt so bad I was known crying. He was known crying and he pulled me close and we hugged. He cried and then I cried and finally after wiping are tears away he let go.

Moments later my grandfather came in he looked at Jake who was sitting up trying to eat some of the peach slices the nurse brought in.

“The doctor is letting you come home with us. You’re being discharged in an hour or so.” Jake nodded and then continued eating his peaches. Soon the nurse came in with some hospital scrubs to wear. His clothes were destroyed in the wreck, I got out of the room as he got dressed. Jake and my grandfather came out of the room and ready to leave. On the ride home no, one said a word, Jake seat by the window holding my hand as tight as he could. Throughout the ride he would have a couple tears escape down his face and then he would wipe them away.

We got home and my Grandfather looked over at me and then back over to Jake. “How about you come on in Abigail probably has some tea on the stove and we have fresh cookies that Emily made yesterday.” Jake nodded ad walked inside were in the window you could see my grandmother hugging him and he accepted. I than put my focus back on My grandfather looked over to me as I was still standing there. “Emily, are you okay?” I thought about it for a second and I realized that I wasn’t and I wasn’t going to be.

“No I don’t think I am Grandfather; I think I need to take a walk all be back in a minute.” I looked over and he nodded I set my book bag down and started down the drive way. I walked to the end of the road and took a left into the woods. I walked down a trail that I made when I was little and sometimes would walk when I was upset or scared. I walked to the creek bed and sat down. I sat there for a long time and cried. I lost track of time and finally got up and walked back down the trial to the driveway and up to the house I went. I walked inside and Jake was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea in his hand and my grandfather sitting in his chair with a cup of tea in his hand. Grandmother came in the living room with the tea pot and a cup for her and me. I sat down next to Jake and accepted my tea.

“Jake, I know this is something you don’t want to hear but we promised if…” My grandmother stopped in mid thought.  “Adam?” My grandmother looked over to my grandfather as if their eyes where how they were communicating. Grandfather nodded in approval for what my grandmother was saying next. “if anything were to happen to your father we would take care of you. We are already on full board with this but um I just want to make sure you are? We have the room and I don’t want you living on your own that’s not right for a kid your age.” Jake looked over at my grandmother as if was about to say no thank you but with my grandmother she never accepted a no for an answer.

“I would like that every much, but I will not stay here for free.”

“That’s right you will go to school and get education. Just like you promised your father before you went on that trip.”  My grandfather looked at Jake and he nodded. “Let’s go Abigail we have somethings we have to do. Emily how about you go clean up Jakes room so he has a place to lay down his head.” I nodded and got up and walked upstairs and opened up Jakes door. Grandma had used the room for storage it had been four years since he had stayed here. I started packing up the boxes of junk that had been put in here. Soon enough I cleaned off the bed, Jake finally came upstairs and stood in the doorway.

“Need some help?” I shook my head no he kept standing there. “Emily can I help you, please?”

“Yea help me move these boxes to the shed, I guess.” He looked over and grabbed three boxes with his one arm, what a show off. I grabbed one we made a way to the shed and back bring all the boxes out to the shed.

“Emily, are you okay I know you should be asking you that but my dad was like a dad to you too.” I looked over he was right his dad was a good guy and I looked up to him. He was the only one that would tell me stories about my mom and what she was like for my tenth birthday party I had cried for my mom to be at my birthday. Jakes dad had found me by the creek bed and gave me a present that I opened the gift contained a necklace that I had seen in photos of my mom. He told me that she would want me to have it. That my mom was living on watching me grow up even if she wasn’t physically here. I still wear that necklace on my birthday or when I need to feel close to my mom.

“I will be fine Jake; I know that I am not but I am not who you should be worrying about.”

“Emily… thank you.” Jake put his head down and then someone knocked at the door. “Knock…Knock…knock” Jake looked back up and head down the stairs to the front door.

“Jake! There you are, where have you been I haven’t seen you all summer.” Rose was standing at the door grabbing Jake and hugged him. Jake stood there stunned and then it like registered that he had not seen Rose yet. Rose didn’t realize his eye or his arm like it wasn’t even there. “Jake? Are you okay, what you doing at Emily’s I thought we had talked about this.”

“Hey Rose, what are you doing here?” I looked at Rose as I came down the stairs if it weren’t the situation Jake was in I would be bitching him out for her being here.

“Well Jack wasn’t in school and someone said they heard you were called to office to leave, then another said that they saw you with Mr. Hunt heading this way, so I figured you were here and I guess I was right.” Rose said crossing her arms and looking at me. I was going to lose and I need it keep it together.

“Jake? How about you go upstairs and grab the last feel boxes and take them the shed and I will catch Rose up to speed.” He nodded and walked up stairs. “Come on in,” I said signaling Rose in. Rose looked like one of those girls that was addicted to drama, she is pretty that I can emit but she had a dark side that wasn’t so pretty. She walked over to the couch and sat down than fixed her skirt. “Jake’s dad passed away last night they got in a car crash and he is still processing it so, please give him sometime and don’t hound him.” She looked at me in shock.

“He is dead; why didn’t Jake tell me or call me? We talked everyday it’s not like he didn’t have my number.” She started crying and Jake came in and right over to her to comfort her.

“Jake you talked to her every day? How did you do that without service?” Jake looked up to me like I just caught him.

“Tell her… or…I will…” Rose said in between sobs.

“Emily I… need to stay way for a while and I thought it was best that we had a summer so you could cool down.” Jake said looking up at me.

“Seriously you got to be kidding; so you choose your girlfriend who obviously doesn’t like me over taking to me because I was mad at you for choosing her over me. I thought you were my friend.”  I yelled out to Jake and left the room for him to decide who he was going to apologize to her or me. Sure enough he chosen her he stayed in the living room with her till my grandparents came home. Jake got up and left with my grandfather to his house, Rose stayed in the living room where she fell asleep on the couch. 

“Do you think we should make some dinner for her too?” My grandmother asked me as she started cutting tomato for the salad.

“Yea, probably.” Grandma nodded to me and continued to cut the tomato. I hate to say it even if I don’t like her and Jake lied to me but she is his girlfriend and I want him to feel at home. Grandmother had me help her cut up carrots as she made a salad to go with the steak that she made. Jake and grandfather came home about an hour later and me and grandma where finishing up. They brought in boxes of Jakes clothes and some of his belongings. Jake didn’t say a word to me and rose still fast asleep on the couch all the way through dinner. Nobody said a word that entire meal I picked up everyone’s dishes and started washing them.

“Emily?” Rose came in half asleep and rubbing her eyes to adjust to the light. “What time is it?” I looked over and then looked at the clock.

“Eight- thirty almost.” I said continuing to wash the plate that my grandfather ate off of. Rose stepped into the kitchen farther and then sat down at the counter.

“Where’s Jake?”

“I don’t know where he is try in his room I haven’t seen him sense dinner.” She looked at me as if she was hunger and upset she missed dinner. “I have a plate for you on the stove, Jake made it up for you.” She looked at the stove and walked over and grabbed it and made her way back over to the chair and started eating.

“Thanks Emily. Um do you have something for me to drink?” I looked over to her and then I walked over to the fridge, there wasn’t much to drink expect my punch and some iced tea that my grandfather and Jake normally drank. Also some milk grandma used for her coffee in the morning. 

“I have punch and iced tea it’s not sweet but I can put some sugar in it, or we have milk or water.”

“Um can I have some punch please.” I poured some punch in a cup and hand it to her. She took a sip and spite it all over the floor. “What is this?”

“Punch why did you spit it out?” I walked over and grabbed the cup out of her hand and took a sip it tasted just fine to me actually really good.

“That is not punch, far from it I can only taste…? I don’t know what it tastes like but that is not punch. Can I have some water please instead.” I looked at her like she didn’t have and taste buds.

“Sure.” I cleaned the cup and put water into it and hand it to her. After I little bit I finished the dishes and went upstairs. I stopped by Jakes room where he was fast asleep on his bed. I walked in and threw the blanket on him and walked back down stairs to tell Rose that I found him asleep. Hopefully she will leave and not try to stay. I found her cleaning her dishes in the sink and then putting it on the rack. At least she had the means to clean her on dish. My grandfather was sitting at the table reading a book.

“Jakes asleep so you don’t have to stay, he will be fine for the night. You can come back in the morning if you want.” I said only being polite because my grandfather was in an ears reach. She looked over at me and then at my grandfather. Don’t she dare ask to stay I will lose it.

“I already called my mom early sir, would you be okay if I stay here a couple of days until Jake gets better?” My grandfather looked up and over at Rose please don’t let stay here please.

“Rose I think that is every kind of you but I think you should give Jake sometime on his own to heal. It is there every nice of you to offer to stay though. But I think we got it from here.” Rose face want cold it was like no one ever told her no in her entire life.  She looked mad and confused at the same time it was kind of funny to be honest.

“Oh… okay sir, well thank you for dinner. I will be back to see Jake before school tomorrow.” She started out the door and then outside. Soon you could see the headlights in the window and she was gone well at least for today.

“Emily you should head to bed; Jake will take you to school tomorrow he is going in town for me tomorrow.” I looked over and nodded and walked over and kissed his fore head. “Emily did you give Rose punch to drink?” I looked back at his odd question.

“Yea but she only took a sip and spit it out all over the floor, why?”

“Oh no reason just Emily don’t offer that punch to anyone it is just for you.” I nodded even though it was odd I let it be. I got upstairs and went to my room and got ready for bed and went to lay down. As I laid down there was a note on my pillow I stopped and grabbed it.

I am sorry Emily it has been hard and I thought I would be easier to put some space between us. I know I should have called you but I just couldn’t bring myself to it. I am truly sorry Emily, but thank you. ~ Jake

The note read I set it on my nightstand he was always trying to make it up to me but he knows even a note on my pillow will not make not mad, maybe less but not mad.

Throughout the night my mind wonder at first and my dream was reoccurring and then after making it to the daggers I woke up cold and upset for some reason. I never woke up set normally I was calm or refreshed in a way. I realized I wasn’t morning yet the clock read three am I had another three hours before I had to get up. So I rolled over and closed my eyes. But after an hour I got up. I walked to the bathroom and splashed water on my face on the way back to my room I saw Jake standing in his door way.

“Can’t sleep princess?” I looked over and nodded, “want to go down stairs and join me for some warm milk like old times;” I consider the offer remembering the last time I had warm milk it was to warm and I pucked it all up right on to Jake and then we had to explain to my grandparents why we were up in the first place. We got in so much trouble I had to do more chores and I was not allowed to leave the yard and wonder for an entire week.

“How about we don’t fall into old habits. How about I go get some herbal tea and bring up here and let you drink it so you can go back to sleep.”

“Ugh your no fun sometimes, fine if I get to join you.”

“Just be quiet their light sleepers”

“You got it princess.” He smiled as he followed me down stairs and into the kitchen. He sat on the counter as I grabbed the herbal tea and started a pot of water on the stove. “Emily I am sorry, she shouldn’t of came here today.”

“No your right she shouldn’t of, she should have been at that hospital with you. I know you didn’t tell her but I know your keeping something why didn’t you call her Jake?” he was studded at my answer and honestly so was I, I didn’t want to hurt him but I also don’t want him hurting someone else.

“At first I wanted to call her and then I thought about you and realized I need my friend more than my girlfriend at the moment.” He looked sorry for it, but I didn’t want him to feel sorry I wanted him to know what he wanted. But at that moment I knew he wanted me even if it was the want for a friend and I am okay with that.

“So you might not want to hear this but you should probably tell her why.”

“I know and I will.” The tea pot went off and I gave him some tea and took a glass for myself. “Good night princess.” Jake got up from the counter and placed his empty cup in the sink.

“Good night Jake.” He walked upstairs and I sat down at the table, I stared out the window. At night the world looked peaceful, even though t is just as busy during the day. But for the third time today I let myself cry. I sat there with tears running down my face I am okay at least that’s what I believe.