March 31, 2019

Dear Diary, 

I have been alone for most of my life. My parents are very strict like not letting me go outside strict and making me the whitest Mexican in history like butt naked kind of white, and not letting me try any kind of sweets because it will give me cavities, the type of strict that doesn't let me do anything new, and the type that doesn't let me have any sort of friend. I just turned 11 and I have no one to celebrate it with. My parents always say I should focus on my studies and not trouble myself with caring about other people. I went to school today like any other day, not paying attention to anything and ignoring everyone as usual. Well, that's what I thought at first but then this boy came up to me.; he had light brown hair, he was around average height for a guy, he had this kind of goofy smile that makes you want to smile back, he had hazel eyes that glowed in the sun. I've seen him in the class but didn't pay too much attention to him because it's not like we can be friends or anything. When he came up to me he handed me a gift; I didn't know anyone in this class even knew I existed let alone remembered my birthday. I thought it was a prank for a sec but when I saw inside it was an actual gift. It's kind of the same old things you'd get anyone, like the safe options but I didn't care I was just happy someone gave me something. There was one thing that stuck out to me, there was a bag full of kisses chocolates and I love chocolate. During lunch, I stayed in class and decided to eat all the chocolate that he gave me. While I was eating I looked up and I saw the same boy walk through the door. I hid all the chocolate cause I didn't want him to see I was almost done with it. He walked up to me and introduced himself, he said his name was Howl. I told him how it's a strange but cool name. We talked for a little while and it was fun. He seemed pretty cool, I wish we could have been friends but that's wishful thinking. We talked the whole time during lunch. When lunchtime was over he went to his seat and that was that; he didn't try to talk to me after school or anything. That kind of upset me even though I probably shouldn't be. It wouldn't have gone anywhere anyway and besides, he was nice to the whole class like that I probably wasn't any different. Anyway, that was probably the most eventful thing in my life. I know that's very unbelievable but it's the sad sad truth. I'm probably the most boring person alive.

Yours, 

Valeria Cortez

April 5, 2019

Dear Diary, 

It’s been about a week since I’ve written in here and that’s mostly because nothing goes on in my life but today something actually did happen. Today Howl talked to me again and he explained why he didn’t say anything to me after school the other day. He said because he wasn’t sure if I liked him enough to talk to him again but that didn’t make any sense to me so I asked him why he decided to talk to me today. He said b/c he wanted to take a chance and if I ignored him then he knew he shouldn’t bother me. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that so I just changed the subject. I still think he’s fun to talk to but maybe that’s just cause I’ve never really talked to anyone else. He said he wanted to introduce me to his friends but I said no b/c I didn’t want my parents, especially my mom finding out I’m talking to new people and making friends. Not that they’d want to be my friends. He said that they’re nice and that we’d get along really well but I still said no. He seemed fine with it but I also felt bad cause he spends the whole day with me and not with his friends. After school, I told him not to talk to me and he looked so confused. I told him I’d explain tomorrow and he agreed. The only reason I didn’t want him talking to me after school was b/c my mom was picking me up and I didn’t want her to see him. I just remembered that at school when Howl and I were talking he asked if he could get my number so we can still talk when I get home. I didn’t want to give him my number b/c I don’t have a very nice phone. My parents said they don’t see a point in me having a phone but they also always want to know where I am so they got me a flip phone. I know people would tell me so much stuff so I don’t take it out. I told him about it and he chuckled a little; I got a little upset but then he said he didn’t mean it in a bad way. He said he also had a flip phone not that long ago. I was really surprised b/c I didn’t think anyone else’s parents would get them a flip phone. He doesn’t have it anymore tho. I’m kind of sad about that b/c then we could have been matching. He’s been really nice to me and I hope I can talk to him every day but that might be unlikely because he has other friends and he probably enjoys hanging out with them more than he does with me. Anyways today was pretty fun. 

Yours, 

Valeria Cortez

April 6, 2019

Dear Diary, 

Today when I got to school I saw Howl waiting by my seat. I was very happy to see him again. I was scared that maybe he changed his mind and didn’t want to talk to me anymore but I guess he still does. When I walked up to him he asked me why he couldn’t talk to me after school. I explained how strict my parents are. He laughed when I told him I was the whitest Mexican alive. It’s pretty normal for me when no one believes me when I say I’m Mexican. Anyway, I finally got to make him laugh today; he’s usually the one to make a joke, and then we both laugh but today was different. It’s been really fun talking and messing around with him. I never knew having someone to talk to could be so fun and stress relieving. Today he asked what I do in my free time at home and I just told him I do homework, read, study, clean, and help my mom cook the food we eat. He said that it sounds pretty boring and it honestly is; having to do the same things over and over again every day. Today I had to take the bus home since none of my parents could pick me up. I am absolutely terrified of going on the bus by myself or in general. I told Howl how I had to go on the bus and he said he always takes the bus home and offered to ride it with me. Obviously, I said yes b/c there is no way I’m going to pass up the chance of not having to ride the bus by myself. Once I got home my mom kept apologizing for making me take the bus. I told her it was ok and just went upstairs to my room; I was hoping I didn’t seem off b/c it’s like my mom has a sixth sense for when I’m doing something she doesn’t approve of. I did end up learning more about him, mostly the small stuff. Today was a pretty good day besides taking the bus but at least he was with me the whole time. 

Yours, 

Valeria Cortez

May 5, 2019

Dear Diary, 

It’s been about a month since I’ve written anything. I’ve actually been kind of busy which is surprising b/c I usually don’t have enough to do. I’ve just been hanging out with Howl basically the whole month. We’ve gotten closer and I feel good about having him as a friend. After weighing down on my options I decided to tell my mom about Howl and me being friends. After I told her she explained how she knew I was going to make friends one day and how she only didn’t want me to have friends because she knew people can be backstabbers. I understood where she was coming from and I was very happy that she was happy I had a friend. During the month I wasn’t writing I decided to give Howl my number so after I talked to my mom I texted him and told him how she was happy I had a friend. He was also happy for me. During the month I even got to meet his other friends because I didn’t want him to regret hanging out with just me the whole time. So now we all hang out together and I think I’ll tell my mom about them a little later. Throughout the month I think I have started to developed some feelings towards Howl. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to tell him but that’s okay. And if by some miracle I tell him and he feels the same I’ll write in here one last time to write all about it b/c I’ll probably need to write down all the emotions I’ll be feeling. Now hopefully not for the last time.

Yours,

Valeria Cortez