The man talking sounded pitiful. The light rain slipped off his shaven head as he spoke with a deep voice. 

   “We will remember what happened here, we will acknowledge what happened here, but most of all, we will …”

   I cut him off after that, not by yelling at him or causing a distraction, but by cutting off all sound around him, silencing the world. 

  I covered my ears with my hands, not wanting to hear anything else that the pitiful man was to say. I closed my eyes, focusing on everything but the man. I imagined the sound of the rain, descending down to the ground, I imagined the beats of someone's heart, pumping blood through their body, allowing them to live in a savage world. Last of all, I imagined my shallow breathing, focused on my breathing, inhaled, held it for seven seconds, and exhaled for seven seconds, I did this over a number of times. 

   Finally, I opened his eyes and uncovered my ears, my scraggly hands falling to my sides. I focused on these things so much, that I forgot what I was doing here or who I was until the man spoke again in his deep voice. Everything came back. 

   I mean everything, came back. The distant screams, the whispers, the heat of the flames licking at my face. The loud sound of small metal bits, leaving a cold barrel, entering the flesh of a human.

   I hated sounds, I hated the cold, I hated how the rain beat against the umbrella over my head. I hated everything. There was a lot of hate. It was hard for me to feel any other emotion but hate and regret. I wish I could feel other emotions, even sadness was okay for me. 

   The rain seemed to beat down harder to the ground now. Making a splash for every drop that landed. The pitiful shaved man kept talking in his deep voice, even though his voice happened to be drowned out by the rain, he kept talking, and talking and talking. It felt like I was out here for hours sitting on this plastic chair, sitting next to people I don’t know. So many faces.

   On my right was a young man, dressed in a black suit, he looked bored, I don’t blame him, I’m bored too. On my left was a old woman, dressed in a black dress with a black veil over her face. She must have noticed me looking because she gave a quick glance supported with a smile. Apparently she knew me when I was a baby, which meant she knew my mom. It only makes sense for her to be here. 

   I didn’t want to be here. I told them I didn’t want to be here but they insisted it was only right for me to attend. Attend my ass. I learned that word from Mr. Jackson. 

   The pitiful man stopped talking, which only meant one thing, I was finally able to leave. 

   “Thank you for your time.” he said,

   He left the podium with his umbrella and walked down the steps. The old woman next to me got up from her chair, tapping my shoulder, she said, 

“Come one, let’s go up.” 

   Up. What does that mean? Why did she say up.

She held her hand out for me to hold on to. I just stared at it. I wasn’t going to do something if I have no idea what that thing is. 

  “Come one, don’t be stubborn. She’s waiting for you.”

   I hesitated before grabbing her wrinkly cold hand. With my hand in hers, she led me away from the row of seats and behind the podium where the pitiful man was talking. That’s when I saw her face. Those soft brown eyes. That smile that shines like no other. Her long black hair. I stopped. I couldn’t go any further. No, I don’t want to. I can’t.

   The woman stopped as well, only because she was the one who was leading me. 

 “It’s okay, you can do this. She’s been waiting for you.” She whispered. 

   I pulled from her hands.

 “No. I don’t want to. You can’t make me do something I don’t want to do.” 

   My face was very stoned. Showing no expression. I stayed where I was, not wanting to go any further. The woman just sighed and looked at me with a sad face.

  “Very well, just stay right here for a minute, I’ll be right back.” 

   She left me where I was and slowly walked over to the picture. It was surrounded with all types of flowers, orchids, roses, daisies. They all made her picture seem even more sunshine-like. If it wasn’t for the occasion and the rainy weather, this scene would have been beautiful. The old lady crouched down to her knees in front of the picture with her head bowed down. I could hear the faint whispering, almost like she was praying. 

   I stood there watching her, wanting to leave. I looked up into the gloomy sky, the clouds moving at a snail's pace. The sun was nowhere to be seen. The only thing I saw of interest was a little sparrow soaring through the sky. Unbotherd by the gloomy weather. He just kept flying and flying as if he was flying through a clear sky with the sun shining down onto him. I blinked, and the sparrow was gone. Was it just a part of my imagination? I looked around the sky to find it but it was nowhere to be seen. It was as if it just vanished out of thin air.

   I looked back down and forward at the old lady to see if she was done. She was, she stood back up and made her way back to where I was. I looked into her face and saw something shiny come down her cheek. The tear made its way down and was wiped off from the old lady’s sleeve. She held her hand out again and I grabbed it without hesitation this time. It was warm. 

   As she led me away from the area, I looked back over my shoulder to see her face one more time again. Usually that smile of hers makes me smile, but not today. Instead, it made me hurt. 

   We walked kind of slowly, out of some gates and into some small building. I heard voices from inside and grew curious. 

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

She responded in her soft, shaky voice, “We're just going to meet some people.”

   Meet people. I didn’t really enjoy the idea of meeting people because everytime I met people, they would ask me questions that I didn’t want to answer.

   The doors of the small building were wide open emitting a bright light from inside. As we got closer, the voices grew a little louder. 

  “Maria. Hey Maria.” 

   I turned around and so did the old lady. Some old man was calling out into our direction. Maria. Who’s Maria?

   The old lady broke a smile across her face. “Josh! It’s so nice to see you.”

The man had silver hair all over his head. I didn’t see a single strand of black or any color of hair anywhere, it was just all gray. I guess that’s what happens to old people. He was dressed in a black suit with a white tie. He was tall, taller than anyone I've ever seen.

   “It feels like ages since I last saw you.” He says.

    There was something odd about the old man. He stood like a politician, proud and strong, yet his face soft and calm, like a river downstream. 

   “It's been 14 years.” The old woman replies. “14 years since we last saw each other, it’s strange how drastic events can bring people back together.”

    The old woman's smile faded into a sad frown. 

   “Let’s go inside Maria.” 

    He reached for her hand and she took it while motioning me to follow her into the building. 

    The atmosphere inside was heavy. People were talking, smiling, some frowning and some with no facial expression at all. There was food laid out on tables, food that didn’t really look like much since I wasn’t hungry. The lights shined down on everyone radiating their faces. Even with all of this going on, the air felt heavy, like an elephant was sitting on you, denying you the ability to move at all while crushing your bones. I didn’t like it.

    The old woman and man were greeted by many faces I didn’t know. Young faces, old faces, in between faces. Not a single one of them I knew. I don’t even know this old lady. The faces kept referring to the old lady as Maria, so after a few more calls to her, it was safe to assume her name was Maria. 

    We sat on a long curved couch, not a single cushion was unoccupied by someone's bottom. I got tired of sitting there and was feeling a little hungry. The food on the table meant nothing to me before I got here but now, it’s looking like some first place prize that I longly desire. Maria and Josh were still sitting on the couch next to each other with other people and talking up a storm. If it wasn’t for the occasion, it would have looked like a bunch of friends reuniting after a very long time. 

    I got up from the couch and walked over to the tables of food. The tables were set in the dining room, which was right next to the living room where all the faces were talking. The table presented food items like, baked ziti, potato casseroles, deviled eggs, fruit/vegetable trays, tiny sandwiches, and some cookies. I went for the cookies. 

    There were m&m cookies, chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, and my personal favorite snickerdoodle cookies. I went to grab a cookie when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. There was a door in the dining room in the far back that opened to the outside. The door was slightly opened and I heard voices coming from the outside. The voices weren’t deep or sounded mature, they were voices that haven’t fully matured yet. Kid voices. I thought it weird that some kids were outside playing instead of in here with their parents. Usually at events like this, the mom or dad would keep their child with them or with someone older, but there they were, outside playing like nothing was happening. Like it was just another happy day. 

    Curiosity killed the cat, I walked over to the back of the dining room towards the cracked door. The voices grew louder. Inside they were muffled due to all the chit chat going on, but outside, they were loud and obnoxious. I opened the door and walked outside. 

    There were four kids. Three of them were dressed like everyone else here, dress suits, black ties, dress shoes, but one of them dressed differently than the others. He stood out more. 

    He had on a white t-shirt with Jesus on it, praying, and light coming from the back of him. His leg wear consisted of black jeans with little holes in them accompanied by white dirty vans on his feet. His hair was all messy and he had blood running down his nose. Why was blood running down his nose?

     Of course I was about to find out why as the other three boys hovered over him throwing punches and kicks to his stomach. As another boy was about to throw another punch, the white t-shirt boy, dodged, grabbed the attackers arm, brought the attacker close to him and hit him straight in the face. The attacker stumbled back holding his nose. 

    Another boy who had blonde hair pushed the white t-shirt down to the ground and started kicking him. The others joined in. The only reason why they stopped was because one of them happened to see me standing by the doorway, watching what was happening. He motioned for the other kids and pointed in my direction. One of them started to walk towards me. Usually, if I were to see a scene like this and someone from the scene started to walk towards me, I would have run away in fear. However, I don’t get that luxury anymore. I would love to be afraid right  now, but I don’t. Why would I with everything that I've seen already? 

   “Hey there, what are you doing out here? You're not allowed to be out here.” The blonde kid said. 

    He and the other boys looked older than me and the white t-shirt kid. I was 11 and the others looked to be around 13 or 14. Still an age difference. The blonde kid was taller than me. Not by a lot, but still taller than me. 

   “What are you guys doing?” I asked. 

    The blonde boy spoke like an innocent child. 

   “We're just playing a game.” He answered. But you can’t play because there’s already enough players.”

   “Doesn't really look like a game to me.”

    The blonde kid started to have a pissed tone when he answered me. 

   “Well, it is a game and you can’t play. Go back to your mommy and leave us alone prick.”

    The other kids started to chuckle. 

   “No.” I said. 

    The kid looked dumbfounded at me not obeying his orders. I'm not like these other kids who do what he says, probably because they’re scared of him. 

   “What do you mean no?”

   “I mean no. I don't want to leave because if I do, then I'm probably going to say something about the blood coming down his nose.” I pointed to the kid in the white t-shirt. 

    The blonde had a glint of fear in his eyes. I'm not really going to snitch on him but, I liked that glint of fear in his eyes. It was beautiful. 

   “Get him.” The blonde said. 

    The other kids obeyed him like a bunch of dogs and made their way over to me. I didn’t move so when they grabbed my arm, there wasn’t much restraint. 

   “So you think you can just threaten me and get away with it?” The blonde asked. 

    The other kid grabbed my arms and put them behind me, facing my front body towards the blonde kid. 

   “I wouldn't really call it threatening since your life isn't in danger.” 

    Now the blonde seemed even more pissed off. 

   “Smart ass.” 

    He threw a fist right into my gut. Pain coursed through my torso and stomach. It’s been a while since I felt pain. It’s been a while since I felt anything really. To be honest, I kinda liked this too. 

   “Say you're sorry and I'll let you go.” He said. 

   “Sorry, I’m not one of your mutts.” 

    Another strike hit me in the face this time, blood from my nose went flying. 

   “Hey!” The white t-shirt kid got up and ran towards me and the blonde kid. 

   “Leave him alone!” 

   “Stay out of this!” The blonde yelled. He motioned for the other kids to hold him down so he wouldn’t cause any more trouble. 

   “Now, I'm going to give you one more chance to say sorry or you're going to be sorry you didn’t.” 

    The blood ran down to my mouth, the taste of iron flooded my taste buds. Nice. 

   “Well?” He asked. 

    I took a short breath before facing him, and spat my blood in his face.”

   “Ugh!” He wiped the spit/blood off his face with his sleeve. 

    He threw another right hook to my face, and an uppercut to my gut again. 

   “Stop!” The white t-shirt yelled. 

    The blonde was about to throw another punch when one of his goonies said, “Wait.” The blonde stopped and looked over to some brown haired kid who looked a little overweight. 

   “I know this kid.”

   “You do?” The blonde asked. 

    He knows me?

   “Yeah, the old hag that died. The funeral for her and everything. That’s her kid.”

    Old hag. 

    The blonde turned to me.

   “Well isn’t that something. That b*tch is the reason why we're even here.”

    B*tch.

   “I could have been at home playing on my playstation, but that stupid sk*nk just had to die. It so happened that my mom and dad knew her.”

    Sk*nk.

   “She probably died because she didn’t want you anymore.”

    Everything boiled. 

   “Wittle baby doesn't have their mommy anymore?”

    My blood. 

   “Hah, hah, hah.”

    My mind. 

   “This kids a damn orphan, hah, hah.”

    I couldn’t take it. 

   “He probably doesn't even ha…” 

    Pow!

    I kicked the blonde in the crotch, bringing him down to the ground. The kid holding me was struck in fear so I pushed all my body weight down, unlocking my arms from his and striking him in the crotch as well with my elbow. I got up on my feet and saw the other kids coming towards me. Everything seemed slow. 

   Kid on my right. He threw a left hook but missed my head by inches. I grabbed his arm with my left arm, brought him to me and connected my right fist in his face. I felt something break with a crack. Another came from behind expecting to catch me by surprise, but I could hear him coming. I jumped back, knocking myself into him, throwing him off balance. At the same time, the fat kid ran towards me and hit me straight on the side of the face. My ears started ringing. 

    The kid behind me put his arm around my neck and tried to choke me. Now I was just getting hasty. I bit his arm, leaving a red covered bite mark. I threw my elbow back, striking him in the chin. The fat kid tried throwing another punch at me but I dove down and tackled him to the ground. My head throbbed from pain and anger. Pure hate. 

    I struck the kid in the face, another crack sounded in the air. Just as another punch was going his way, something hard hit me in the back. I rolled over in agony. The blonde kid stood over me with what looked like a metal pipe. How the hell did he get that?

    He swung the metal pipe towards my head like he was playing golf. I kicked his leg, leading him to miss. I pulled him to the ground and got on top of him. I snatched the pipe from his hands and threw it at the other kid who came running at me. He fell down with a loud, thunk, to his head. 

    I turned my attention back to the blonde, raised my fist and struck him square in the face. Another crack. Some weird type of energy rushed through my body.

     Adrenaline.

    The blonde’s face kept getting bloodier and bloodier with every punch that came towards his face. Blow after blow, I didn’t stop. Nothing in the world mattered except the atrocity of my actions. I just kept going. The only reason, and only one reason, on why I stopped, was because I was dragged off his body. 

    Faces. 

    The faces were everywhere. Including Maria and Josh. One of the faces had pulled me off of the blonde and kept me in his grip. My expression must have presented the hate inside of me because all the faces looked at me in fear. Maria had her hands over her mouth, Josh right next to her, shocked, and the faces. The faces gave a look that I've never seen before. It was like they’ve just witnessed a murder happen. 

   “My boy!” A female face called. 

    She ran towards the blonde who was laying on the floor, not moving. His nose was all out of place, blood covered every inch of his face. It looked like a nightmare. It looked horrible. It looked beautiful. 

   “What kind of monster are you!” The female face looked at me, screaming her head off.

   “You should be ashamed of yourself. What kind of kid smashed another kid's head in. Where is your mother! You need to be punished severely!”

   “Victoria, calm down, ple…” Josh stepped in trying to calm her down. 

   “Calm down? You want me to calm down! Look at my son!” She held her son up for everyone to see. His limp bloody body. 

   “No!” The white t-shirt kid emerged from the crowd. His mother reached out to try to catch him.

   “Santi!” She yelled.

    Santi. Not what I would have thought his name would be. I thought he was more of a diego. 

   “He saved me.”

   He stood in front of Victoria. 

   “These kids were beating me up, even your son.” He pointed at the blonde. Victoria looked shocked. As if her son would never do such a thing. 

   “He happened to come outside and saw them, and then they started to beat on him too. Then they said something about his mother, and he went crazy on them.”

    Victoria looked at me with disgust and hate. 

   “I don’t care what they said, he’s still responsible for what he did to my son!”

   “Victoria, stop, he's just a child.” Josh had said.

   “I dont care!”

    Maria now stepped in from the crowd of faces with a hard expression on her face. She stepped towards me.

   “What did they say?” She demanded. 

    I've never seen this on her before. Before, she seemed so hurt and scared. Like she was just a shy little girl. When she spoke, her voice was quiet and soft. Now, everything was stern and hard, serious. Even the way she stood was different. 

    She wiped the blood from my nose with a handkerchief she brought from her hand bag, “What did they say.” She demanded again. 

   “They were saying stuff about my mom. They called her names and I couldn’t let it happen.” 

    The anger boiled in my head again. 

   “Anyone who insults my mom or my family deserves to die. Rot in hell like the people who killed them.”

    Tears started rolling down my face, not tears of sadness, but tears of anger. Pure hatred. 

   “I don’t care who they are. I’ll kill them all. Every single one of them.”

    Maria pulled me into her arms. 

   “It’s okay.” She whispered. 

   “I want them back. I want them all back!” I yelled. 

   “I know.” She whispered again. 

   Maria looked back in the crowd of faces and at Victoria. I felt something wet hit my head. The clouds started crying, Maria started crying, and finally, what felt like an eternity since it happened, I started to cry.

   “You heard him.” Maria stated to the crowd. “Anyone who disrespects Elena or anyone else who died, deserves to rot in hell.” The clouds started crying even harder. 

    “Come on, let’s go home.” Maria turned me around and we started walking to the car she drove. 

   “Wait!” A familiar voice called. 

    The white t-shirt kid ran towards us, stopping us in our tracks. 

   “Thank you.” He said. “For saving me.” 

    I wouldn’t really call it saving but I guess it might be. He held his hand out for me to shake. 

   “Im Santi.” He said. 

    I took his hand and shook it. The blood of the blonde stained it red. At this point everything should be red. That’s how I saw my life now, stained in red. Not being able to get rid of it. I hated it. Why did they have to die? Why did those damned devils have to take everything? I wanted to just die like I should have with my family, but I was left alive. Being alive is worse than being dead. 

   I let go of his hand and turned around. 

   “You can’t go yet!” he yelled out after me.

    Who was this kid? Why was he so persistent in talking to me? I wish I yelled at this kid to leave me alone but I didn’t. Something was different about this kid from when I first saw him. The difference in clothes, the way he stood up for me. Something was off. It was like he didn’t care who I was or what I was. Anything was good enough for him to talk to. I wanted to figure it out. Who he was and why he was this way. 

    I turned around and asked, “Why not?” 

    Maria opened the driver's car door and stationed herself in it. Waiting for me to get in. 

   “Because.” He responded. “We're friends now.”

    That sparrow came back.