Empty Stomach | Teen Ink

Empty Stomach

July 7, 2019
By HopSie, Rancho Cucamonga, California
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HopSie, Rancho Cucamonga, California
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Author's note:

This is just a piece of the novel, but i really wanted it to get out there first. I have had mental disabilities growing up and i felt this was a good way to explain what a went through but in a more gentle way.

It’s back. The shadow looks over me like it’s pitying me. I manage to look at our surroundings. I’m curled up against a tree, in the middle of what seems to be a small pond area. That’s where he was standing.

“Little girl, you think you can stop listening to me? We’ve only just begun our fun experience.” He grows and towers over me. I can no longer move, not even scream. Not even able to close my eyes, I saw him come down into my head. I felt my head become full of…something. When the last of the shadow reaches in my head, I scream with all my might, hoping someone is there with me. No one else is hear, I scream once more. This time without a stop, my voice getting higher and higher.

“Lola! What is wrong with you!” I open my eyes and try to quickly cope on what situation I’m in. I notice that I’m sitting on the corner of my bed, not laying down. My arms are being grasped by what I now realize is my mother. She has tears in her eyes, along with my sister who was next to her, standing.

“W-What’s going on...?” I say, with my weak voice. Serina has a long sigh of relief.

“See mom? Just another night terror. She’s fine.” I see a wave of relief hit Mom, and she lets go of my arms. A sore pain hits where she was holding it, but I ignore it.

“H-Hey sweetie, it’s t-time to get ready for school” She gets up and takes Serina with her out of my room. With the door shut, I try to explain to myself what happened just then. Serina said,” Just another night terror”. Have I had night terrors before? That can’t be, wouldn’t I remember being in a weird position when I wake up? Also, night terrors are nightmares you don’t remember, but I remember what my dream was last night. Well, at least parts of it, but you don’t necessarily remember dreams unless they’re weird. The parts I remember are just small details in my dream. I remember a tree and a pond with pretty lily pads in them. It seems like a peaceful dream. Maybe mom thought it was something else and she just tried to wake me up. I put up my ponytail and look in the mirror to see if I missed any hair pieces. 

You looked better in your pajamas, these clothes make you look huge.

I look down at my thighs in the mirror.

God, your thighs are the size of a body pillow. Look at that stomach, you could fit a dog in there.

I rub my hands against my stomach, unsatisfied with what I see. I slip my shoes on and head out to the kitchen. 

“Hey! You’re up!” Mom said, taking a sip of coffee.

“What do you mean? You were the one to wake me up” And as if I had said that I was getting married in two days, my Mom looks up and turns to Serina and pauses. Serina walks next to Mom and says,

“Well of course she did, but she didn’t have her coffee yet, so she wasn’t really awake.” I shrug it off and sit down on one of the stools in the island. Mom sets down a full breakfast meal of eggs and bacon with two pancakes.

You’re not hungry. 

A strange noise appears in my stomach.

“Sounds like you’re really hungry” Mom mentioned. I looked down at the food she had given me. I feel my mouth getting watery, and I notice myself licking my lips.

“What’s stopping you? Just eat it already” Serina said, walking into the room. I pick up my fork and dive into the scrambled eggs. I lift it up to my mouth.

Look at the time, you won’t be able to eat it anyway. Just start walking to school now.

I look at the time on the oven.

7:14

I was going to be late. I run out of the kitchen to the front door, grabbing my backpack off the rack. I open the door and run completely out of the neighborhood. The school had two different entrances. The one in the front, and a side entrance. The side entrance is there only because most of the students lived in the neighborhood off the side of the school. I cross the street and jog towards the side entrance. I’m halfway there when I became out of breath and started walking.

You think this is going to help you? Run to the front entrance, that’ll get rid of what you ate last night.

Still out of breath, I Pick up my pace to the point when I’m running. I start slowing down when I come up to the side entrance. I look at my phone to see the time.

7:30

Now you must make it to the front in 15 minutes. So, start going now.

I continue to stand in front of the entrance, deciding on what move I should do.

“You know the entrance is there for you to go in” I turn to the voice that had appeared behind me. It was a very tall boy with dark brown hair and brown eyes. He wore a hoodie and jeans with very blue sneakers.

“Oh, I was just thinking…” I look at the entrance, and back at him.

“You name is… Sin…Yu?” I Say.

“Sin Yu Sai” He finished” Lets meet up sometime. You can show me all of the good restaurants and stuff.”

He’s trying to fill you up and have you grow. He can’t be trusted. He’s going to betray you.

I stumble a little backwards and he leans forward, waiting to catch. I step even more backwards and run inside the school. I continue to run through the track and up the stairs.

NO! YOU NEED TO GO THE OTHER WAY!

I turn around as I reach the top of the stairs. Sin Yu Sai was right up my tail at the bottom of the stairs.

Now look at what you’ve done. You’ll never get rid of that food anymore. DO NOT ever trust him. He’s a bad guy who’s trying to get rid of your image. Run from him.

I head towards the cafeteria. Everyone would hang out there, so I can easily get out of his sight.


It's another day in the life of Lola, and nothing has changed. This is how my life is and how it's going to be.   



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