Sadie and I ran up to my new room and sat on the floor.
“Here, give it to me. Let me read it out loud,” she said.


By now, you’re lost, right? Its okay, I would be too. It’s your first week in California so don’t plan on making mom and dad buy you a new bed. The one you have now is perfect; you’ll love it. You’re going to meet two girls tomorrow, Lauren and Raquel. We gave them a great first impression so use your head and talk to them. They’ll become your best friend. I know you’re shy, but don’t be. We can do it, together. I’m taking you through your first year in California and giving you the basic ideas of what will happen through your life. A series of events will occur and you must follow them in order to prevent other things from happening. If I took you through all eight years of our life to catch you up to where I am now, that would take too long.

“Jay, you’re sixteen in this letter,” Sadie suddenly said.
“Sade, I don’t get this. It’s creeping me out. What is she trying to do?”
“You mean, what are you trying to do?”
“Yeah.”
“I told you already, I don’t know. But maybe we should show mom this.”
“No! You can’t show her this. It’s already freaking me out. Just imagine how much it would freak out mom!”
“Okay, okay.”


Let me explain to you why this letter is going to help you. You’re a little me. My life was great as a kid, at home at least. But when you turned ten, you were diagnosed with diabetes. That happened because all you did was ate junk food. Since you got diabetes, you couldn’t do anything such as sports, dance, or swimming. I want you to turn that all around right now because believe me; you don’t want to have it.

“Oh my gosh, Jay! How could you write this to yourself! You’re scaring the ibby jibbies out of me!” Sadie screamed.
I snatched the letter out of her hands. “Sade, shut up and calm down. I’ll read it.”


It sounds scary, I know, I’m sorry. But it’s for the best Jay. That’s what you like right, junk food? I know you’re at a normal size weight for your age, but you didn’t gain weight with this type of diabetes.

I sighed. I couldn’t handle any more information for today. I folded the paper back up and placed it in the envelope.
“What are you doing?” Sadie asked impatiently.
“Putting it away. I’m too young for this Sade,” I replied. I put the envelope under the bed, where I had found it and then Sadie and I both walked out of my room.


That night my family and I decided to go out to dinner. We went to Poppy’s Pizza and sat down at a four seat table. Sadie and I were talking amongst each other while low back ground music was playing. I noticed two girls, about my age, walking past the pizza place outside. Then they both came in and I heard one speaking.
“Lauren, no. You can’t do that to him. He’s a good friend of mine.”
“Raquel, he’s a jerk,” Lauren said.
I tugged Sadie on the shoulder urgently and whispered in her ear, “Sade, that’s them!”
“Go say hi then,” she encouraged.
“No, you.”
“Fine.” I scoot over so Sadie could get out and revel the two mystery girls I was supposed to be best friends with.
“Good luck,” I said.
“Thanks,” she replied. She walked over to them both, her long brown hair flying while she walked. Sadie was beautiful and I was kind of jealous of her looks. Lauren ran over to an older lady, who looked to be like her mother, and then all three girls came running over to me.
The blonde girl, whose name is Lauren, stuck out her hand. “Hi, I’m Lauren,” she said. I shook her hand.
“And I’m Raquel,” the other girl with black hair said, pushing Lauren to the side which caused me to giggle.
“I’m Jayden,” I said.
“Are you from around here?” Raquel asked.
“We just moved here,” Sadie responded.
“Perfect. You can hang out with us if you want to,” Lauren offered.
“That would be nice,” I said with a smile.


So just like older me said, I met them and that was pure fate. But then I started to wonder. I met them the same night I moved here, so would anything different happen now that I didn’t meet them the day after? Lauren, Raquel, Sadie and I all ended up having dinner together and then we went home. All my stuff was already unloaded and I didn’t plan on reading any more of the letter tonight. So, I crawled in to my bed and fell in to a dreamless sleep.

Moving Day
-----------


I woke up from my dreamless sleep and looked around my empty room. I looked under the bed and reached for the letter. I discovered that it had been opened while I was sleeping. That means she had begun reading it. I wasn’t sure how far she had gotten. Everything wouldn’t stat to take effect until she caught up to my time. Everyone was waiting for me down stairs, so I placed the envelope in the closet and left a golden locket in there that my grandma had given to me before she died.
I ran down stairs to see Lauren and Raquel waiting once again, for me. I gave them a huge hug this time.
“We’ll miss you Jay,” Lauren said.
“I’ll miss you guys too. I’ll come visit every couple of months. I promise,” I said.
“Good. Call us every day of forever and never forget us,” Raquel said.
“I won’t.”
“Good.” I gave them on last hug before we were rudely interrupted by my father.
“Come on Jayden, let’s go,” he said.
I gave Lauren and Raquel a warm small smile before I got inside the car. I rolled down the window as my dad drove off and waved to them. Where I was going was only for the better. Boston really wasn’t where I was moving back to, but sense I recently just found out that I could teleport back and forth to the first year I moved here till now, we had to go somewhere safe so it wouldn’t harm anyone. My parents told me that I had to erase all the bad things that happened in my life since we moved here. So they were the ones who made me write the letter to my eight year old self. Every little bad thing that occurred in the last eight years of my life, all put damage to my brain from a little thing we’d like to call, telepathy. I guess when I was diagnosed with diabetes; I was under great depression for so long that I wouldn’t go outside for the longest time. My parents had to send me to therapy. I had emotional break downs a lot and I didn’t want to do anything, strictly because I couldn’t do anything. So, they put me on drugs and it had some kind of weird affect of me. It gave me the ability to teleport in time. I know what I’m doing, but little me doesn’t, yet. I know where I’m going, but nobody else does. I know that it’s not the worst idea either. On the way there, I fell into another dreamless sleep.

Arrived
--------

I got up with my hair all tangled and I was more awake than ever. Oh the sweet smell of strawberry smoothies in the morning had gladly greeted me. I ran to my closet and put on my ducky slippers, but then I noticed the envelope sitting there. I bent over and picked it up.
“How oh how, did you get in here?” I said to myself. I looked at it strangely. It felt heavier than it did before. I opened it up and found a golden locket in it. I examined it carefully and then took both the letter and the locket down stairs.
Sadie was already in the kitchen slurping down her smoothie.
“Sadie, look what I found,” I said, showing it to her.
“Where did you find this?” she asked.
“It was in there.” I pointed to the envelope as she stared at it. Sadie froze up.
“You’re joking, right?” she asked.
“No. And I found it in my closet. So I was thinking maybe you did it to try and scare me or something.”
“I did not do that.”
I raised my eyebrow and quickly took out the letter.
“I have to read the next part,” I said.
“What page are you on?” Sadie asked.
“Just beginning page two,” I admitted.
My mom walked in to the kitchen, so I hid the envelope behind my back but before I could hide the locket she asked, “What’s that?”
“A locket,” I said nervously.
My mom picked it up and looked at it. Then, she opened it up and gasped.
“Sadie, where did you get this?” she asked.
“Bert gave it to me mom. Please give it back,” Sadie said, trying to get the locket back from her.
“Sadie Ann, this was not given to you by any Bert. This is your grandmas!” she shouted.
Sadie and I both exchanged looks and dashed up to my room, leaving the locket behind with my mom. Once we both got in the room, we automatically slammed the door shut together.
“Hurry, read it,” Sadie demanded.


Here I have placed a locket. You either received it now, or you’ll get it tomorrow. This was Grandma Casey’s. She dies when you’re nine. Please try not to show mom this. She’ll freak out. I want you to know something Jay. I can give things to you. You can receive things from me, anywhere I go. All we both have to do is sleep.

Sadie gasped, “Jayden!”
“What?”
“Look!” she screamed while pointing to the closet. It started shaking.
“Whoa, Sade,” was all I said. I said those words very calmly. This whole thing was freaking her out more than it was me. I understood perfectly what was going on but I didn’t know why it was happening. I got up and walked over to the closet. I didn’t see anything, but once I turned around, Sadie was gone and so was the letter. Where did she go?
“Sadie! Sadie! Where are you?” I shouted. I heard footsteps coming from my sister’s room. I walked over to her room, twisted the door knob and stepped in. Sitting on her bed was this older girl and Sadie was sitting right next to her.
“Hi, I’m Jayden,” the girl said. Whoa, wait, Jayden?
“Umm Jayden? Like, Jayden Sights?” I asked. She smiled cheerfully.
“Yup. That would be me,” she answered.
Oh my gosh. That’s me!
“How did you get here?”
“I well, right now, I’m sleeping. But, I’m not a dream because you’re awake, so technically I teleported here.”
“Can you please explain to me how there is two of me?” I asked in my politest tone.
“Read the Letter,” was all she said, then she poofed.
Sadie ran out of her room screaming. She and I both were officially freaked out. I guess I didn’t understand anything perfectly, anymore.

I decided to continue reading more of the letter on my own. We were both freaked out on how the older me got here to me. I found the letter on Sadie’s bed and sat down on her bed to read more.


I told you I was sleeping. That’s what you look like in the future sweet. You saw me, I know you did. Now, it might have not looked like anything was wrong with me, correct? Well believe it or not, there are a lot of things wrong with me. I’ve gone back eight years of my life. In my life, today is April 26th 2009. I’m much more experience in this world then you’ll ever be. If you noticed, there’s a day’s writing each night. I write more of the letter each and every day. You’ll grow through your life way faster then I’m growing through mine. Next week, you’ll skip two years ahead of your life and I’ll still be sixteen. I’m passing you through time, just to fix all the mistakes that happened, so you must follow this letter.


Whoa. Can she seriously do that? Is she like, lying to me? To be very honest with you, I don’t believe this letter. So maybe this is all just a hallucination. I couldn’t take any more of it. I put the letter back in the envelope, once again, and went in the backyard. So she will never know where I put it, I dug a hole out back, put the envelope in the hole and put dirt back in it. I was tired of all this imagination crap. It’s my life, it wasn’t real. There’s only one of me and that’s it. I’m eight, I’m friends with Lauren and Raquel, I’m going to grow up each and every day of forever and nobody is going to tell me otherwise. Later on that night, I fell into another dreamless sleep.

Arrived
--------

I finally woke up from my dreamless sleep. We arrived to the house we had to move to. It was twenty minutes away from out original house. But technically, we never really moved either. It sounds really confusing, I know. We had to move to this new house for safety until I figured this problem out. But I could go back to the house I just moved out of anytime I wanted to. It wasn’t ready for this life, but this was the only way out from this mess I got myself into. A mystery is yet to be solved, from being a normal child with a great life, till now, messed up. I hated it, but this was no my life.


I was aware that little me had seen me and I’m sure she freaked out in her head. She obviously received the locket and the letter because after I poofed, I went down stairs and saw my mom holding it in her hands. Wonderful Jayden, I told you not to show mom, I thought to myself. Something very odd has been going on though. But it’s probably nothing. We got out of the car and all went into the two from condo we’d be living in. Sadie and I had to share a room now.
“When are you moving out?” I asked her.
“I don’t know. I don’t plan on moving out either.”
“Sade, please go run off and marry someone. We’re too old to be sharing a room,” I said politely.
“Well we wouldn’t have to be sharing a room if it wasn’t for you and your diabetes!” she shouted.
Tears started feeling up in my eyes and blinding me. What she just said really hurt. But then again, she did have a point. It was my fault.
“I’m sorry Jayden. I didn’t mean that, I’m so sorry,” she said, wrapping me in a hug.
“It’s fine. Just let me go. I’m not feeling good,” I said. She let go of me and I decided I’d go explore the new house. I needed to start thinking of ideas to solve all my mystery problems. At any given time, I could go see me, as long as I was in that one realm of a very Dreamless Sleep. Those, my friend, are the key words to a new realm. I searched the house, through every room, through every cabinet and drawers and found everything to be empty. Mom and dad would be bringing in some of the stuff from out old house. Most of the stuff stayed in the original house. We just brought the necessary things with us to this one. The whole thing with me having diabetes makes me really tired all the time. I’m constantly always tired or sleeping and that was the result of one of my many problems. Now, to learn my next problem, I am deaf in one ear. I’m not able to listen to music through head phones due to the extreme music I always blasted up when I was twelve. I became deaf and blew and eardrum in my left ear. It really sucks because I might go completely deaf one day, which really sucks even more. So that’s another thing little me needs to change because since I can’t hear out of one ear, I won’t be able to get a good job or join the Speech and Debate class at my school. Those are things I dream of wishing I could do but I can’t because I’m messed up. This is another problem I have to solve.
My mind wondered off into space and my body collapsed on the floor. I curled up into a cradle position and let myself lay there. My stunningly beautiful mother walked up in front of me with her arms crossed and my father was standing at the front door carrying in a box, both of them staring down at me.
“Why is she laying in the floor?” he asked.
“That’s a great question. Why are you laying on the floor Jayden?” my mom asked me.
I simply shook my head but didn’t speak.
“Jayden, why?” she asked again. I shook my head.
“Jayden sweetie, can you please speak?” my dad asked.
“I don’t know why dad. I’m bored,” I responded.
“Honey, I know you’re upset about this whole thing but you have to do it. We’re working together on this as a family.”
“I know, but why?”
“We’re helping you, so you can do things. And we need to get this ability you have fixed. It’s the only way and it’s not safe for you.”
“Daddy, please don’t make me do this anymore.”
For a moment, he was silent. He was speechless, stroked. I haven’t called him daddy since my therapy started at age eleven. I only called him daddy when I didn’t want to do something that bad and the last time I said that was when I got diabetes. I never asked him for anything.
“Jayden, do you really not want to do this? Would you rather be sick your whole life?” he suddenly asked.
“I’d rather be dead,” was all I said until I fell into my next dreamless sleep.

Broken Day
-----------

I woke up from that dreamless sleep once again. I was really tired of not being able to have dreams. What was up with that? By this time I woke up it was already morning again and I woke up to the sound of this:
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Jayden, happy birthday to you!” my whole family shouted to me while walking in my room. My dad had his video camera in one hand.
“It’s my birthday?” I asked uncertain. My family looked at me with a weird look on there face.
“Yes,” my mom said.
“How old am I?” I asked, clueless.
“Ten,” Sadie said.
Everything didn’t make much sense. Yesterday, I was eight. Why is it that today, I’m ten? But then I remember what the letter had said. Next week, you’ll skip two years of your life. How exactly is everything going to change if I keep skipping through my life and I only get past the few days I’m set at? Has she thought it out or was it just pure stupidity?
“Well, thanks guys,” I said.
Sadie I guess was now thirteen. I’m ten. This is the year I’m supposed to be diagnosed with diabetes. So, let’s hope I’m not.
Once my enthusiastic family exited my room this year, I felt the need to eat fruit. I don’t know why fruit was what I was craving, but it also felt like my mind was now programmed into doing everything the letter said to do, everything except reading the actual letter. I wanted to see if she had found it, read it and wrote more. Okay, let’s take this back to literal term. I am ten, correct? I guess, but why? Oh right, because she said so.
I heard my door knob turning and then I heard a knock.
“Can I come in?” Sadie asked.
“Yes,” I replied.
She walked over to my bed and I wondered if she remembered the letter. I was the only one who remembered I was eight yesterday.
“Oh my God, Jayden!” she shouted, throwing her hands up in the air as if she was praising God.
“No way, do mom and dad know?” I asked.
“No. They literally believe we went through the last two years of our lives.”
“No way, but you know what happened right?” I asked.
“Yes, I know. Jayden, you need to read more of that letter. I really don’t believe we’re real anymore.”
I let out a deep sigh. I couldn’t come to conclusions of why we weren’t real. Maybe I’m not even supposed to be here. Maybe I’m just here to do my job and get it over with. Maybe the older me has a point. Maybe, Sadie’s right. But we both know I’m not a dream, we all know that. I can’t necessarily say I know what the future is going to be like, because I only remember the past. It’s only the summer of my fifth grade year. It’s only the life I’m living now. My future is like a white screen, blank.
“Okay, I’ll be right back. I have to go dig it up,” I said. Sadie gave me a weird look. “What?”
I laughed, “never mind,” then I skipped down the stairs to the back yard. Everything I want, nothing I could ever have. That’s exactly what I’m thinking. I want so much, but since I’m living this world of a clueless factor, I can’t have it. What was going on in this parallel world?
I dug up the letter and took it back up to my room/
“Okay Sade, let’s read it.”
I opened it up, but saw nothing. “Oh crap. Sadie, there’s nothing here.”
“Why not?” I looked at her, worried.
“Because I dug the letter in the back yard and she probably doesn’t know where I put it.”
“Great Jayden,” she shoved me to the side.
“Thanks for that,” I said, while rubbing my now bruised arm.
“No problem.”
We couldn’t read anything that night. Raquel and Laruen came over for my birthday, since anyone I haven’t met here, never existed to me. I existed to them, but they never existed to me. The great wonders of life invited me in, greatly. So immediately that night, once again, the dreamless sleep overcame me.



Broken Day
-----------


I woke up again. I went from the floor, to the couch over the time period I was sleeping. I’ve concluded that this was taking way shorter time than expected and I didn’t write to her last night. Crap. I got up and grabbed a piece of paper from the printer my parents put in while I was sleeping. Then, I wrote. Something was happening to my body, physically though. I was feeling a little bit more energized then before. I wasn’t aware what time zone she was in now, so that’s one thing that was stopping me from writing. I wrote as much as I could and as much as I imagined she’d be through by now. After that, I placed it under the bed in my room.
I decided to call up Lauren on the phone.
I dialed her number on my cell. On the second ring she answered.
“Jayden, already calling?” she asked.
I laughed, “Yeah, I was bored.”
She laughed too, “Dude, I so miss you already!”
“I miss you too.”
Everything was only supposed to affect me in my life, no one else’s. If she didn’t do the major things I asked her to do, I’d still be messed up, me and no one else. That’s’ the only problem I didn’t have with this. I’m doing this to make me better.
Lost in a world of confused minds, what’s happening to me? Think back to when you were ten Jay. A recipe for disaster in itself was diabetes and therapy. Twelve years old came, deaf. Then, you turned thirteen. Your first boyfriend came into your life. Blake Coons. He was the worst boyfriend in the world. He broke my heart and that affected me ten times worse. Then I turned fourteen. I had my second boyfriend, Kyle Marks. He tried killing me. He poisoned my drink one day at school. And Daryl Le-
Blah. Next thing you know, I’m throwing up on the floor. I hear someone running down the hall, into the living room where I am.
“Jayden, Jayden, are you okay?” Sadie asked, while lifting me up to go to the bathroom. I ran to the toilet and threw up again.
“No,” I replied in between breaks.
“What happened?”
“I have no idea. I just started throwing up.”
“Did you eat something bad?”
“No. I haven’t eaten since seven this morning.”
“Jayden, it’s four. You need to eat.”
“Sade,” I gave her the ‘obvious’ look, “I’m in the middle of throwing u-“
Blah, again, “up.”
“We need to get you to the hospital right now.”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
We got in the car, once telling my parents what had just happened and this time, I closed my eyes for that dreamless, nap.

I stretched out my arms and got out of bed. I remembered I had placed the envelope back under the bed. I quickly looked under my bed and sure enough the letter was there. I grabbed it and thought to myself, diabetes. I’m ten now and whether I know it or not, I don’t feel far or feel like I would have it, I think. Honestly, I don’t know how this is helping me any but whatever. I ran down to Sadie, in her room.
I held up the letter in front of her face, while waking her up.
“Sadie, Sadie!” I yelled. She groaned.
“Sadie Ann, wake up!” I yelled again. She threw her pillow hard against my head. “Ow,” I said.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“I got the letter. She wrote more. Come on!”
That instantly brought her to her feet. “Alright, let’s read it.”


Jayden, you’re now ten. It’s week two for me. Your tenth birthday was six months ago, sounds crazy right? You probably realized mom, dad and Sadie thought it was really your tenth birthday, but you knew you were eight. You grow as time goes on. You’re doing really well. Diabetes is no longer in our vocabulary, congratulations. But don’t think you’re finished yet, because you’re not. Did I ever mention deaf to you? I don’t think I did. Do one thing and you’ll be able to hear out of both ears forever. Don’t listen to your iPod you’re getting for Christmas when you turn twelve. I mean, listen to it, but don’t blast the headphones in your ears. Today’s date is November 15th 2005. By the time Christmas comes around, you’ll be twelve. Freaky huh? You go deaf by blowing your ear drums and in the future, you’re going to need that sense. So do as I say, please, for your own good.

“Sadie, she said you wouldn’t know about this. But you know everything. Why is that?” I asked.
She gave me a shrug, “maybe because I’m reading the letter too.” She suddenly gasped. “Jayden, this paper is magical!”
“Sadie, we’re not even real. We’re just a dream.”
“No! She told you you’re not. ‘I’m you and you’re me, that’s all there is to it,’ remember?” She recited the line she wrote in the letter. “And, she writes more every day, so this paper and us are magical!”
She kind of did have a point. It seemed to me that everyone who read this letter knew exactly what was going on. So I decided to show someone else, Lauren.

“You’re joking right? Jayden, we’re ten,” Lauren busted out, after reading all that was left to the letter.
“I know, but watch, tomorrow we’ll wake up and we’ll be twelve and it’ll be Christmas. And you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Bet me money.” I stuck out my hand for her to make the deal. She shook it.
“Five dollars you’re wrong. If you’re right, I’ll give you five.”
“Deal,” I agreed.
“But how will we know how old we are?” she questioned.
“Look at yourself in the mirror tonight and in the morning look again and you’ll look different.”
“Alright. This is just crazy.”
“Don’t tell Raquel though. Let me handle that,” I said.
“Okay, I promise.”
“Thanks.”

Sadie and I went back home from Laurens house. The three of us did everything together, as far as my knowledge knows. But I didn’t see it happen, I just know it did.

When you’re ten and you look back into the past, you see everything that should have been. You just don’t know you really were it. I know I’ve done it, but was it physically there for me to do? Nope.

Broken Day Continue
--------------------


I woke up on the hospital bed. I felt a wrap around my elbow. I slept through three blood test and an ultra sound I was told. I’ve been in the hospital my while six years of the diabetes life. That was the hardest part, I was limited.
My mother was looking through a magazine on a chair when I called her over.
“Mom.” She looked up and came to my side.
“Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?” she asked.
“Fine, hurting.”
She gave me a frown. “Sweet, your sugar level was low. They had to inject sugar in your. They had to take blood test. You need to eat.”
I sighed, “Sadie was right.”
“What did she say?”
“I was in the middle of throwing up when she told me I needed to eat. She was right.”
“Your sister knows you well.”
“But mom, wasn’t this whole teleporting thing was so that I wouldn’t have diabetes anymore?”
“It has to slowly die off once the whole ‘mission’ is finished.”
She air quoted the word ‘mission.’
“Mom, you know how I told dad I didn’t want to do this anymore?”
“Yeah. Why not sweetie?”
“Because, its hurts.”
She gave me a weird look. “What do you mean Jayden?”
I put my hand against my head, “I feel drained out mom. I feel like a sponge that’s just been sucked out of water.”
She chuckled. I slapped her arm. “Mom, it’s not funny.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Jayden, I don’t know why you feel like that.”
I just shook my head. I was changing and I knew it.


I spent the rest of the day down at the hospital and then went back home. When I got up t my room, I found three missed phone calls from Lauren. I listened to the one voicemail she sent to me. It said: “Jayden, I need you to call me back, please. It’s urgent.” So, I called her back. It rand twice before she answered.
“Jayden Lynn, Mark, Ann, whatever your name is! What is this?” she yelled in the phone.
“What is what Lauren?” I asked, already annoyed.
“I’m confused, okay. For some reason this letter was under my bed and I read it, it didn’t make sense.”
I took a sudden gasp. A letter? “Lauren, what was in that letter?” I questioned.
“Me, you, Raquel, your life. Basically you.”
“I’m coming over right now.”
She was in silence.
“Hello?” I asked after a minute.
“Jayden, you can’t come over…you’re in Boston.”
Oh man, I forgot that’s where I told them I was going back to. I was going to have to tell her the truth, later.
“You’re right, dang it, I forgot.”
“Yeah, well I’m just going to forget this ever happened.”
“Whatever you do, save that letter and keep it under your bed and do not tell Raquel, let me handle that.”
“Okay.”
“Thanks, bye.”
“Bye.”
I had to solve this. I needed to figure out what Jayden did. I wrote another part of the letter. Once I was done explaining, it went back under my bed. It was already ten, so I went to sleep.

Surprises
----------


I woke up to the smell of Christmas morning. I woke up, two years older. My room looked different. There was a cell phone on mu night stand. I must have gotten this for my twelfth birthday or something. The first thing I did was check under the bed for the letter. Sure enough, it was there. But this time, it was a new envelope. Flower imprints were imprinted on the front. It was labeled To Jayden. I opened up the nicely looking envelope and began reading it.


Merry Christmas Jayden! I hope you have a jolly ol’ day. I have a couple things to announce to you. First off, know that I’m not upset. I’m a little worried though. The older Lauren called me earlier and she mentioned she found a letter under her bed. She had read it and she questioned me about it. I’m kind of weirded out as to how she found out about it. Did you by any chance show the letter to Lauren? There are a few things. Now it’s Christmas and you’ll be getting your iPod. Don’t bust your ear drums, you hear me? You’ll be thirteen tomorrow. You’re going to get your first boyfriend then. Whatever you do, don’t say yes to him. He was a jerk and he broke your heart. So fair warning, stay away from him. Oh yeah, his name’s Blake Coons. I’ll tell you about your other problems in the next letter but for right now, have a Merry Christmas.


Oh crap. The older Lauren, I forgot. How was I supposed to answer her question if only she could write to me? Maybe, I could write to her. So that’s what I did. I didn’t write much because I didn’t want to write a lot and then find out she didn’t get it. I placed the letter under my bed and called Lauren.
She picked up immediately.
“Hello? Jayden?” she asked.
“Yeah, see a difference?”
“Oh my gosh, yes! This is so creepy Jayden.”
“I know, but the older you found out so now you know about this whole thing. You still can’t tell anyone, promise?”
“I promise. Merry Christmas by the way.”
“Thanks, you too. I got to go now. Bye.”
“Okay, bye.”
At the moment, I ran down stairs. I could smell freshly baked cooking coming from the kitchen. My stunningly gorgeous mother was bent over taking a batch of cookies out of the oven. I walked over to give her a hug.
“Morning mom,” I said.
“Good morning Jayden. How are you?”
“Pretty good.”
“Merry Christmas sweetie.”
“Merry Christmas to you too mom.”
She smiled. “Where’s your sister?”
“Probably still sleeping,” I shrugged.
She laughed lightly. “Please go wake her up for me.”
I turned around to go, but then she said, “Oh Jayden, here’s a cookie.”
She handed me a chocolate chip cookie, smiled and went back to baking. I took a bite of it and walked up the stairs to Sadie’s room.
Knock- knock- knock. “Sade, its Christmas! Get out of bed!” I yelled.
The moment I said that, she opened her door and pulled me by the arm. She brought me in to her room and slammed the door behind me.
“Jayden look.” She pointed to her bed. There was a blood stain on it.
“Eww, what is that?” I shouted.
“I don’t know, blood obviously.”
“Oh no Sadie, you’re on your…”
She looked at me and we both said, “Period.”
I helped her take off her sheet and we threw it in the washer.
“Well, I guess this is all by knowledge. This letter makes the ones who read it completely clueless of their life,” Sadie said.
“I kind of figured that out awhile ago Sade. And guess what?”
“What?”
“The older me, found out that I showed the letter to Lauren. The older Lauren found a letter under her bed too.”
“Wait, you got a new letter?”
“Yeah, come on.” Sadie and I went to my room. I let her read the letter and the one that I wrote back.
“Do you think she’ll get it?” she asked.
“I hope so,” I replied.
At that time, my parents called my sister and I down. We ran over to the Christmas tree and began opening presents. Sure enough, there was that iPod. Sadie got an iPhone though, lucky her. I wasn’t allowed to listen to it on full blast, so my mind was already programmed in to it. My family ate Christmas lunch and then we went to see the Christmas lights. On that long tiring night, I fell into another, non miserable, dreamless sleep.

Surprises
----------


I woke up that next morning. It was my first day of school all of a sudden. I was going to Mountain High High School, made up of three thousand kids. Made up of eight hundred junior students. Made up of people I was bound to get to know. I looked under my bed to see the letter read, but beside that, I saw another letter. Which was very odd because I’ve never seen this before. I took it and began reading it.

Dear Jayden,


I don’t know if you’ll get this. I hope you do but if you don’t, I’ll make this short so I don’t waste my time writing for nothing. To answer your question, yes, I did show Lauren. I just wanted to see if she would realize the difference in her if she read the letter. I didn’t realize it was going to affect on the older Lauren though. I hope you’re not mad. By the way, this whole thing is confusing me, but I guess I’ll keep following it for you.

Love little Jay.

No way, how cool! She could write letters back to me! Which was actually really creepy. I took the letter down to my mom and asked her about it.
“Mom, little Jay wrote to me.”
“What, she did?” she questioned.
“Yeah, read this.” I stuck the letter in her hand. While she was reading it, Sadie came down stairs.
“Hey Jayden,” she said.
“Hey. My younger self wrote to me.”
“I know. The little me remembers,” she smiled cheerfully. I guess it affects her too. I could only tell what was going on if I slept. Everyone…wait a second, it’s affecting everyone!
“Sadie, you know what’s going on?”
“Yes, I have knowledge of everything that’s going on back there. It’s like, programmed in my head.”
This was totally no longer cool. Luckily, the older us couldn’t tell our little selves stuff. Only I could, but if everyone was able to do that, this whole thing would be screwed up.
“Jayden, write back to her. Go to her actually and tell her she needs to keep this to herself,” my mom instructed.
“Mom, I have to tell Lauren the truth. I have to let her come here, she already knows.”
My mom let out a breath and put her hand over her forehead. “Alright, I’ll pick her up after she gets off of school. I’ll explain on the way back what’s going on.”
“Okay, I’ll call her and let her know. Just don’t let Raquel see you.”
“You bet’cha.”
I ran up stairs and got ready for school. I put on the best outfit I owned. Dark blue jeans, a black tang top, a blue and green over vest and my black vans. Then I curled my hair and applied on my make-up. I would write back to her once I got back from school. I was taken to school by my sister. I went into the office, passing by hundreds of unfamiliar faces. Some smiled at me, some stared at me and some gave me dirty looks. Whatever. Once I approached the front office and told them my name, a browned hair guy walks into the room and stands next to me. I look at him at the same time he looks at me and he flashes me a brilliant smile.

Boys weren’t really a topic I liked to discuss, but I wanted to discuss him. I was still staring at him, making myself look like a retard and suddenly, he began to speak.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi,” I replied, probably blushing red.
“Are you new here?”
“Yeah.”
“Where are you from?”
“Oakland High.”
He leaned back on his heels, “Ah Oak High. I’ve heard about them. What brings you here?”
“Long story,” I chuckled nervously, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.
“I’m sure I could keep up,” he pleaded, smiling.
“Oh no really, it’s hard to explain.”
He frowned and gave me the puppy dog look.
“Sorry, that’s not going to work on me,” I said, taking my schedule from the clerk. I turned around and began walking away without saying goodbye.
He ran in front of me and opened the door for me.
“No wait, please don’t walk away,” he insisted. I gave him a bewildered look, “Well, I have to get to class.”
“What class do you have first?”
“Chemistry, with Mr. Kean.”
“I do too. I’ll walk you.”
Great. Out of all the odds, I have a class with Mr. Hottie.
“Okay fine,” I said.
We walked down the hall, heading towards room 75.
“By the way, my names Clayton,” he said.
“Jayden,” I replied.
“Nice to meet you Jayden.”
“You too.”
We walked into chemistry. Everyone looked at me. One cheerfully looking girl came up to Clayton. She giggled that annoying giggle and placed her hand on his chest.
“Hey Clay,” she said.
He gave her a weak smile, “Hi Chelsea.” She smiled.
I stared at her. She gave me a disgusted look.
Clayton noticed that and cleared his throat. “Chelsea, this is Jayden. Jayden, Chelsea. She’s new here.”
“Oh, well hi,” Chelsea said stubbornly.
Something about this girl’s attitude already told me I wasn’t going to like her at all. She seemed like the type of person I always tried to ignore. Back when I was thirteen and I got my so called first boyfriend, this girl named Amber always gave me attitude and hit on Blake, but not that I cared. He was a jerk anyway…because of Amber! This brought back total memories. I was pissed now, so I walked away from Clayton and Chelsea. On one side of me, I was happy, on the other side of me, I felt incomplete. I needed something or someone to make me whole again. I needed that second half of me again, but how was I going to find it?
I took a random seat somewhere in the classroom and then someone walked up to me. A cute boy, but not hot, with light brown hair and a plastered smile on his face.
“Hi, I’m Chase,” he said, introducing himself.
“Hello, I’m Jayden. Oh, am I in your seat?” I asked, realizing I had come into the class halfway through the year.
“Yeah, it is. But that’s okay. You can sit there. We don’t have assigned seats in this class,” he explained. I smiled at him and he smiled back, taking a seat next to me.
“So, you’re new here?” he asked.
“Yeah. My family had some stuff to take care of so we had to move out here.”
“Oh alright. Well, welcome to this crappy school I like to call home,” he said, very unenthusiastically, that made me laugh.
“Yeah, thanks,” I said.
That morning went by, as teachers told me to fill out certain papers and forms. Clayton and I had Algebra 2 together, fourth period, and computers, sixth period. Chase and I had Economics together, third period and he found me at lunch, so we hung out. I met a few of Chase’s friends at lunch and they were all pretty cool. I remember each of their names. Adam, the junior class president, gorgeous and sweet. Bryan, the schools dance instructor. He puts together the dances and he is cute too. Karis, one of the many cheerleaders at our school. She was actually pretty and nice. Jennifer, the schools photographer, sweet girl. Tracy, she was kind of a B word. I’d rather not say though. And Michayla. My new best friend. She’s super funny, really sweet, a writer, a poet, a friend. I already knew we were going to get along great.
That’s the thing with school. You meet one person and they bring you to the class of freshly baked cookies. Some taste worse than the others. Some are sweet, some are bad. That’s the thing that I’m living.

My mom picked me up from school twenty minutes after she picked up Lauren. I got out later then Lauren so it worked out well. When my mom picked me up and I got in the car, not ready to explain, Lauren screamed.
“Ow,” my mom and I both said.
“Jayden, oh sweet sweet Jayden, how could you?” she said, pacing her tone.
“Lauren, let’s get home and I’ll explain there,” I suggested.
“Fine.” She sounded impatient and mad. I could see why, but it was just so awkward. I didn’t know how I was going to explain to her, but I’d have to. My mother always told me, ‘Say what you mean, mean what you say, and life will always go your way.” I didn’t know how much I was going to believe that, but I’d have to.
My mother turned the corner, bumping into the side walk stupidly, and we pulled up in front of the house. Lauren and I slammed our doors shut and ran to the kitchen so my mother and I could start explaining. My mom was always good with this stuff.
“Anybody want anyth-“my mother began until she was rudely interrupted by Laurens outburst, “Tell me what’s going on?”
“-thing to drink? Excuse me, I was talking Lauren,” my mother continued, taking three cans of Coke out of the fridge. She handed one to each of us and I popped the tab open, taking a nice long slip. The fresh cool minty soda went down my throat, sending me sudden chills.
“Sorry mom, she’s just stunned, I don’t blame her,” I said. She shook her head, agreeing with me.
I put up a hand while taking another sip, “Lauren, before I tell you what’s going on, you have to make an oath to me that you will not go back home and tell anyone about this or that I still live in San Diego. You promise?”
“Promise, cross my heart, hope to die. Now please proceed.”
“Okay.” I slapped both my hands on the table, “I’m Jayden.”
She me the ‘duh’ look. “Yeah I got that, and?”
“Shut up and listen.” She zipped her mouth shut.
“I’m Jayden, you’re Lauren. We are nothing alike. You can’t and will never be able to do anything I can do now. I can teleport, and don’t give me a weird look but if you know your past, then I’ll know your future.
“Here we have my mother-,” I pointed to her and she smiled and waved. “-she knows about my situation and would she seriously lie to you? No. You remember how I got diabetes when I was ten?” Lauren nodded. “Well, I don’t have it anymore. Okay wait, I do, but that’s because my whole ‘mission’ isn’t complete yet. I sleep at night and I can go back in time. Anybody who reads the letter you got yesterday can tell what has changed in their past and if the situation is serious enough, I apparently just found out that you can be affected in your present time too. So if anything happens that I changed in the past, people come back to life or anything, people will wonder but you can’t say how. It’s between me, you and my family. No one else.
“Now, my sister, you and I are the only ones who have read the letter in the past. Things that happen now in the present day, can’t affect our past. You need to know this one thing. I was drugged and my brain, the problems I had, had a huge affect on me and when I turned fifteen, I became outrageously fed up and sick, that my body changed. We’re not dreams in the past or future. We’re ourselves.” She had the most shocked look on her face I have ever seen.


She touched her soda once and it was stuck in her hand. I took another sip if mine. Remembering that when Lauren and I first met, I was the shy nervous one. This took me back to a moment back in time when my mom let me have my first soda and I was the happiest person alive. That’s what brought me to the point where I am now. She let me have my first soda, which led me to eat sugar after sugar after sugar after fat and that’s how I become diabetic.

Flashback
----------

“Get this Jayden, mom gave me five dollars!” Sadie exploded while waving the five dollar bill in my face.
“Are you kidding me? Why?” I asked.
Sadie had recently just turned eight. I had been five for three months. I’ve never touched a single can of soda or had a single drop of sugar in my life. Okay, I’ve had sugar, but my parents kept me away from candy bars, tick-tacs and soda. I wasn’t a spoiled kid. I’ve been sugar free sense I was born.
“Because I’m older than you,” she lied.
“No, that’s not the reason.”
She smiled brightly at me. I ran down the hallway to my mom.
“Mom, why did you give her five dollars?”
“Jayden, she did her chores.”
“Oh. Mom, when can I try a candy bar?”
She put her hands on her hips and looked down at the little me that was looking up at the humungous her.
“I’ll make you a deal, for every little chore you do, I’ll give you one dollar and a small candy. For every big chore you do, I’ll let you have a soda.”
“What would you consider a big chore?” I asked innocently.
“Taking out the trash on your own, cleaning your room, feeding Stevie by yourself and making your own bowl of cereal.”
“Mom,” I began complaining, “I’m only five!”
“Jayden, if you want it, you have to do your chores.”
“Fine.” I scrunched my face and nose and marched back into the room that Sadie and I shared. Boston’s cold winter weather was getting to me. Burr.

My first chore ever. This was going to be tough. I put on a jacket, found gloves under the kitchen sink. I was facing the trash can. Just me and the trash. My only thought was Okay Jayden, you can do this. Just push and go. You want that soda. Breath. I extended my hands for the trash lid and began pulling out the bag. It was heavy. I sat on my butt and tipped the trash can over, trying to pull the bag out. I could feel drops of sweat running down my head. Sadie passed by me and started cracking up at the sight of my little scene.
“Shut up!” I yelled.
“Jayden, you’re seriously doing that for sugar?”
“Yes, now leave me alone.”
“Fine.”

Present Day
------------


Although I never got that trash bag out on my own, my dad helped me and my mom never found out.
“Was this seriously going to be kept from me for this long?” Lauren finally spoke.
“It was supposed to be kept from everyone. It should have never happened,” my mother said.
“Jayden, I don’t even know what to say. Thanks for telling me I guess, but next time something like this happens, don’t let me find out. I would really rather not know this creepy story.”
“Believe me Lauren; nothing like this is ever going to happen again.”
“Alright. So how was school?”
“Oh my gosh, do I have a story to tell you!”
I pushed out of my seat, smiled and grabbed her hand while running to my room.
“Boy talk?” she asked.
“Oh yeah!” I admitted and we both laughed.
I told Lauren the boy, or should I say boys I met at school today. She laughed, oh’d and aw’d and told me to keep talking to him. She told me a little about her and her crush as well, Brandon. By the time it was eight o’clock, my mom took Lauren back home. A weekend without your best friend was hard enough so luckily she knew about my secret. Which brought me right, oh wait I must write back to her. I let out that sighed again and took out a sheet of paper. I began and finished writing a new part of the letter to her which then again brought me to my sleep.

Yawns. I wonder what today is for me. What age am I? Who am I? What’s going on? Those are the questions I ask myself now. Embarrassment? Not at all. What exactly am I?
Checking under my bed is the first thing I did. I wondered if she saw the letter I sent her or not. I opened the envelope and read the letter.


Little Jay, hi. I want you to know that I did get your letter. I read it and my thoughts on that were two sided. I’m not exactly mad you told Lauren but please don’t show anyone else. So, you’re thirteen today. Embrace in it. I’m taking you to the time where we meet Blake. Let out a sigh right now, you’ll need to. Jayden, honestly, don’t get yourself involved with guys. Please. I seriously think you should stay away from them. Although, the sixteen year old us met a new guy at school today named Clayton. He’s really sweet actually, but unfortunately doesn’t go to the same school you’ve never been too yet. Today will be your first day of going to school. You’re knowledge of knowing all of them so when people come up to you, act cool. You know them all. Okay, so you’re in eighth grade now. Here is when you meet Carter, your newest best friend, but when your freshmen year comes around, he gets in a car crash and dies. You think you can bring him back to life? Well, you can. March 15th 2007, he goes out with a friend who’s twice his age. Tell him not to go. Tell him you know what’s going to happen. Tell him about me, but that’s the only person I give you permission to tell. When he’s back alive in my time, people will wonder how he got back here. I can’t explain to them how, we will just tell them believe he ran away and never told anybody. People will wonder why, but they never did find him because they never brought him back to San Diego. He went to Colorado with this older guy, a brother of one of his friends and was never found. How do we all know he got in a car crash? Evidence. His mom never cared for him and his dad left his mom and him when Carter was four. He’s a really sweet guy, so save his life Jayden. Have fun and do well on your first day of school.


As I was reading that, tears had filled my eyes. To know that I had a friend die my freshmen year of high school. I had wondered what was going to come of my life that only the older me knew. I had wondered if anything so tragically was going to come of it. Anything that could help me now, wouldn’t. For all I know, this will hurt me more in the future than it probably does now. Gradually attempting not to think of this any further, I put the letter back under the bed. I guess today is when Blake asks me out and I meet Carter. I got ready for school, unwillingly and went downstairs. My sister was searching through her clothes, figuring out what to wear for school. I went into the kitchen where my dad was sitting on the table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. As far as I knew, this wasn’t his normal every day routine.
“Hey dad,” I said, grabbing an apple from the dining table.
“Hey pumpkin, how are you?” he asked.
“Splendid,” I said enthusiastically. I took a bite of the apple and kissed him on the cheek. My mom came in, wearing a dress and she had a flower in her hair. My dad looked at her, his mouth now dropped open.
“Wow honey, you look beautiful,” he said. My mom smiled.
“Thank you,” she replied.
“What’s the special occasion?” he asked.
“Oh, my sister and I are going out for breakfast and then going to the outdoor mall. She’s coming out here from Orange County to see me,” she explained.
My dad stood up and walked over to her, embracing her in a hug and gently kissed her long and slow.
“Ew. Get a room,” I said. They both laughed at that.
“Jayden, go finish getting ready for school,” my mom said.
“I am ready for school,” I replied. My dad kissed her one last time and gave her a little smack on the butt, and then he gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“Have fun today girls. I’m off to work.” He grabbed his brief case and yelled, “Bye Sadie!” and then walked out the door. I heard the roaring of the car engine and watched him through the window as he drove away. My father was now gone for the day, until dinner time and that wasn’t until five thirty later on today. I guess things change over time, a lot of things. Things I never knew could happen and be knowledge of, at all.
My mom grabbed her keys once she knew Sadie was ready and took us both to school.
Sadie and I were in the back seat when I said in a hushed tone, “Sadie, she wrote more.”
“Did you read it?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’ll let you read it when we get home.”
“Okay.”
My mom dropped me off at school first. I stepped out of the car, ready to face whatever out coming kid that was out to get me. Slamming the door behind me, window rolling down, my mom said, “Bye sweetie,” and Sadie mouthed, “Good luck.” Then my mom drove away. Sigh. Here we go. Loud, increasing footsteps came towards me, putting a ringing sound in my ear.
“Jayden!” Lauren and Raquel both yelled. They wrapped me in a hug.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” I asked.
“Nothing. Oh my gosh Jayden, I heard Blake was going to ask you out today,” Raquel said. Raquel, I guess, has always had a crush on Blake. She told me once that she’d bang him any day. Ew. How do I know this stuff?
“Oh no,” I said.
They both looked at me weirdly.
“What do you mean “oh no”?” Lauren asked.
“Jayden, you’re in love with that guy,” Raquel stated. But what she didn’t know was that I wasn’t. No, “I’m stupid,” I said. They both gasped.
But what Lauren and Raquel didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt.


I completely ignored what they both were trying to say to me and just went to the first class I knew of going to. I had this class with Blake, so I decided to completely ignore him. After there was no sign of him trying to talk to me or anything, I started to wonder. All of first period went by, no Blake. Lunch past, still no sign. Last period and still no sign of Blake asking me out at all. I was supposed to meet Carter today too but where was he? School’s over and I knew everyone. I acted all cool around them, because it felt like I’ve known them for years. So, I was a little curious. Nothing took place like it was supposed to. A lot of my life so far was unbearable. Unreal, but either this was a lie or something’s going wrong.
When I got home, I went up stairs. I got to my room, twist the door knob, opened it and noticed her, again.
“Hello Jayden,” she said.
“Hello Jayden,” I replied. She was like my friend, a sister. She wasn’t just a hallucination anymore. She was a pen pal, she was real, she is me, and I am her.
“How was school?” she asked, sounding a little anxious.
“Funny story,” I began, “Blake didn’t ask me out and I didn’t meet Carter.”
“What, really?” It seemed to me like she knew this was going to happen. Like she was trying to tell me something. Unless, I did something wrong. . .
“Really. Did I do something wrong?” I asked.
“No, you didn’t. Something’s just not right.”
She looked just as curious as I was.
“Well, you’re looking like me more and more each day,” she mentioned.
“Jayden, I am you, remember?”
“Yeah but I mean like me, me.”
I sighed. The her, her. Of course. Everything was about Jayden, Jayden, Jayden. Like I ever mattered. Bull. Anyway, I let her have her moment. My door know started turning but luckily I had locked it.
“Hurry hurry, hid in the closet,” I whispered, shoving Jayden in the closet. She ran over to it and then locked herself in there.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“Jayden, open up. It’s Sadie.” I let out a sigh of relief.
“Oh okay.” I unlocked the door and let her in. Jayden came out once she knew it was just Sadie.
“Oh hey Jayden,” Sadie said coolly.
“Hey Sade,” Jayden said.
I guess everything was like routine to us. We all acted like this wasn’t a big deal at all. Kind of weird, but kind of cool at the same time. It’s like nothing ever went wrong. This led me to believe that maybe this was a cause and life being happy was possible.
“So, can I read the letter now?” Sadie asked.
“I guess so,” I replied. Jayden was just looking around my room, or our room and I guess she was remembering everything from when she was this age. Small things come in big packages. That saying was so true. Even I knew that.
“Jayden, are you sure you didn’t meet Carter?” Jayden asked.
“I’m positive. Are you sure you took me back to the right date?” I asked.
“There’s no way I couldn’t have. My mind’s set to do it automatically for me,” she said. I could tell this was really bothering her. Even though I had no idea what was going on.
A sudden question suddenly popped into my head. “Jayden, have you ever had sex?” I asked.
She looked up from the floor she was staring at and stared directly into my eyes. It was more like a death glare.
“Do you mean will you ever have sex?” she asked, returning the question to my question.
“I guess so. Do we?”
She looked down, like she was in great shame or something. This didn’t look to good. “Yes Jayden, you do have sex, or, you did, unless you can prevent it. But Jayden…” she began but before you knew it, she disappeared again. Why? I don’t know. She was hurt, I was hurt, badly.
Sadie finished reading the letter, her mouthed dropped open and the paper flew to the floor.
“He dies, you have sex…Jayden. Whoa,” she said, totally shocked. I bent down and grabbed the paper from the floor, putting it back in the envelope.
“Sadie, you don’t understand. I finally get why she’s doing this. Her life Sadie, my life, is torn.”
She gasped. “Do you think you were raped?” I gasped and slapped her arm. “Sadie, how…who knows,” I then said, changing my mind. I probably was, will be. Really, who knows until I find out? My life hasn’t even started. Who knows what will happen in the future.

That night, I let my head rest. I took in inhale and an exhale and forgot about everything, letting me fall asleep.

Dream
------


Was I dreaming of having a dream? Was I crazy for thinking that this could ever be? Was I stuck in a body for wanting what I’d see? It is possible for me to be part of me? As far as I know, I could never dream. As far as I know, I couldn’t see. If I thought hard enough, where would I be? If I thought hard enough, what would I see? Maybe this was just a hallucination. Maybe this wasn’t real. And then I realized I was stuck with a thrill. I put my hand out in front of me and looked at it. I was real, I was. I wasn’t dreaming, but where was I? I pinched myself, just to make sure, smacked myself a couple of times before I hard to hurl. Then I realized I was in a room. A room full of space. There were two beds, but it wasn’t my room. Two of them, but whose? Girls were sleeping on these beds, this was creepy. I walked over to the left and stood in front o the girl. Peeking over, “Ah!” she screamed. I put my hand over her mouth; put a finger up to mine. “Ssshh,” I said, calming her down. She pushed my hand off of her and leaned up. Then, she took a good look at me. I knew where I was now and this was not normal.
“Jayden, how did you get here?” she asked.
“I, um…teleported?” I replied, totally stealing her line.
She shook her head, pinching herself, smacking herself a couple of times and making sure she was real.
“What did the five fingers say to the face?” she asked.
Then, I took my hand and slapped her. “Slap,” I replied.
She put her hand to her face, “Ow.”
“Real now?” I asked.
“Defiantly, thanks for bruising me,” she said.
“You’re welcome,” I said while smiling.
“Jayden, you’re not supposed to be here. What is going on?” she asked.
“Why in the world are you asking me? How am I supposed to know all of this?” I asked, completely unaware of what was going on.
“I have no idea,” she sighed, pressing her temples to her head. Why was this happening? It made me feel like I was doing a bad thing. We were both stressing out over this thing. Nothing was going right, was it?
“Hey Jayden,” she said, “I need to get back to my daily self. I have school, so try and wake you up. Poof or something.”
“I don’t know how. What do you do to poof?” I asked, wondering if maybe she knew.
“I stop thinking,” she simply said.

Awake
------


She shut her eyes, trying to regain strength and stopped thinking, and then bye-bye birdie. She’s gone. That was totally not normal and thankfully she didn’t wake up Sadie. That would have been weird for the both of us. Alright, so the basics down. Blake didn’t ask me out. Maybe that was a good thing. But I never met Carter either. Was he not meant to be in my life? Is that why he died? I guess I really didn’t need to change that, but now that I know they never showed up in my life, now I know for sure they were never really supposed to be there.

My second day of school was already headed my way. My next thought was what else is their wrong in my life? How much more do I need to accomplish? And then I remembered the question hay asked me this morning. Have I ever had sex? Yeah, I honestly have. But nobody knows about it. I wasn’t pregnant, but I really regret losing my virginity at such a young age. I was fourteen. This guy and I, he wasn’t my boyfriend, were at his house hanging out and he kissed me. One thing led to another. Little innocent me really wasn’t innocent at all. I never even told Lauren about it and she is my best friend. My sister knows now, U guess, since the littler he found out. But I didn’t know what I was doing anymore, or why I was doing it, because nothing has changed in my life. Maybe I’ll never change. Maybe this so called mission is over and maybe I was just having dreams. Then I wondered if it wasn’t real? I got ready for school quickly, not even bothering to make myself look pretty and ran to my mom.
“Mom, what’s going on?” I asked.
“Nothing much, you?” she asked. Agh.
“No mom, what’s going on with me? Have you and dad been hiding something from me?” She chuckled. Physco beautiful woman. Grr.
“What do you mean are we hiding something from you? Of course we’re not.”
“But mom, nothing has changed.”
“Jayden, I said it’s going to take affect after.”
“So what!’
“Jayden, you’re acting up. Stop, please. It will take care of itself.”
“Mom, Jay came to my room today, this morning, whatever. She was in my room.” Her eyes shot up in worry. What the heck?
“Little Jay came into your room? This house? You saw her?” she asked. I shook my head.
“Oh no. That’s not good.”
“Why not?” I asked curiously

I ended up in the hospital again, not even making it to my second day of school.
Again, my sugar level was low. Looks like I just keep getting worse. I was at home in my room, on my bed, just laying there. Waiting, wondering, wishing, and hoping. I crawled into a cradle position. Normally I don’t cry but with all my social life, I am going to. Why is it me out of all the people in the world that has to go through this? That I am the one who has to fix her past? I guess you can say I’m lucky to be able to fix my past, but I don’t like it. Because to me, nothing is working. I’m losing everyone in my life. I’m sorry for the way I acted towards you, I’m sorry for the way I lie. I never meant to break your heart or to even see you cry. I guess it hurts when you leave me and all I have is nothing. The comfort that’s around the room will never leave me suffering. Just know this now and know this forever, I love you, it is true. My heart lets go, a million pieces and it’s never ending for you.

I was missing my love. The one I fell in love with in 8th grade. Carter. Sadie walked in the room and noticed me crying on my bed. She came over to me and wrapped her arms around me, giving me a hug. She could tell what I was crying over. She could see right through me.
“Jayden, I’m so sorry. I’m here for you,” she said softly.
“I know, thanks.”
I positioned myself to hug her back and I laid there in her arms. My best friend, my helper, my forgiver, my sister. That’s what she was, all in one.