“Dear God, I can’t open my eyes, it’s too painful.” 

Adalyn woke up with sun this morning and noticed the snow remained on the ground but the temperature was consistent at 38 degrees. As Adalyn grew closer to the Evergreen and the bench she perceived Lyle leaning against the Evergreen. 
“Lyle?” Adalyn questioned while she approached him from afar.
“Hi,” Adalyn was amazed how tall Lyle was, she had to look up to notice his eye color.
“What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Lyle endured where he stood, not moving a muscle.
“I’m perfectly fine. I’m Adalyn if you were wondering,” her heart began to race that he cared enough to wait where he found her last morning.
“Adalyn. A lovely name. Who or what were you named after?”
“I don’t know...” she trailed off, Adalyn grasped the piece of paper in her pocket. Have been waiting patiently, she couldn’t take it anymore.
“A penny for your thoughts?” Lyle smirked at Adalyn, and her heart sank. Memories punctured her soul.
“I don’t need to strike up a conversation with anyone.”
“I’m not sorry for asking, but I guess you are,” Lyle looked at Adalyn with his kind eyes and she saw herself smiling.
“I’m not the one who asked,” she gave him a piercing look.
“Not that. You’re sorry that someone had the nerve to notice you yesterday, and help you.”
“I don’t need this,” Adalyn looked around with her eyes rolled to the back of her head. She wasn’t joyous about her situation with Lyle. 
“But do you want it?”
“Lyle, why are you doing this? You know, asking me all these questions like you're actually curious...I don’t understand.”
“You don’t understand because you don’t have anyone willing to care about you. And to me, that’s sophistic.”
“Why are you doing this?” Adalyn was fired up, she wanted the peace and quiet she had every morning, but clearly God gave her this.
“Cause no one else will,” conclusively Lyle left her alone. Adalyn jammed her note in the knot hole and hurried home.

“Dear God, should I let him in?:”
Adalyn sat on the bench while Lyle sat beside her. There mouths didn’t say a sound. A cogent gust of wind peeled off an Evergreen needle and laid on her lap. Adalyn tweaked the needle, glanced at Lyle, and started to talk.

Two weeks had passed and Lyle was repeatedly there, leaning on the Evergreen. Abetting,  Adalyn maintained in her thoughts and when he left she placed another note in the knot hole. However, she found hope in Lyle when a needle landed in her lap.
“You have been here for the last two weeks,” she stated while she saw Lyle’s eyes light up, he turned to her. Simultaneously, he studied her in a way of harmony.
“Yes, I found myself ending up here.”
“You shouldn’t say something so risky. Words mean a great deal to some people.”
“Actions mean more. Adalyn why did you just lie there? In the snow, why did you let it hurt you?” Lyle’s voice became more sympathetic as he finished his sentence. 
“Sometimes, I do stuff that I can control.”
“You control the physical pain, but you can’t control the inner pain aspiring from your heart.”
“Yeah.”
“Why is such a beautiful girl hurting herself?” Adalyn’s head swung briskly to Lyle’s, justifying that she was the beautiful girl he specified.
“It goes like this. One day something happens that you never thought would, and when it does a moment of clarity clouts you. You can never go back, and there’s only now and what lies ahead. That scares me, not going back,” Lyle found Adalyn battling a tear that slid down her face before she could whip it aside.
“But are you going to let that define your future? Think about it, one agonizing moment is going to change hundreds?”
“You have to rebuild your life, your routine. Because one mistake can cost you your life, one thought can tear you apart,” Adalyn’s face continued to battle tears that wanted to create puddles below her. But she remained strong, because she knew that anything could destroy her.
“That’s when your strength comes in,” she looked at him long, gawking into his eyes because she knew he was right.
“Adalyn, I’m not here to give you words that mean nothing to you. I’m here to make a difference, why are you breaking?”
“Lyle, it’s easier for me to run away from it all.”
“What’s going to happen when it catches up to you?” She didn’t know how to answer, it didn’t matter because no matter what she was going to lose. She felt the rigid edges of the piece of paper and discomfort from the words that spelled out her life.

“Dear God, I find myself healing in a way I thought was impossible.”

“Morning gorgeous,” Adalyn twirled around and saw Lyle smiling with two cups of coffee in his hand.
“Morning Lyle,” he handed her a cup and motioned her towards the bench. They sat intently on the bench together. For the past month they have met each other near the Evergreen and have been sitting together for hours. Sometimes talking, or not. But Adalyn acknowledged it, she adored the comfort.
“He didn’t love me anymore.”
“What?” Lyle practically vaulted when he heard Adalyn speak the impeccable truth.
“One day, one moment, and a couple of words that are able to destroy you. How can I live with that?” Tears sprung from Adalyn’s enchanting blue eyes and she fell into Lyle’s arms.
“Tell me about it,” Lyle muttered in her ear.
“There’s not much to say. One day he came to my doorstep and never came back,” Adalyn’s eyes were holding in numerous tears, but wistfully she couldn’t be tenacious any longer.
“You know we all fall in love, some people love faster some others slower. But it happens, and you're happy. No, you're ecstatic, you feel like whatever happens you’ll be okay because you have this person in your life that loves you back. But when they leave...its there choice. And in that moment you know no matter how hard you fight, no matter how many tears you shed, it won’t make a difference. It won’t make a difference because it was their choice, and you can’t change that.”
“In this world, pain is necessary. But my angel I’m here to help you,” Lyle held Adalyn tighter and slowly she felt her broken heart begin to mend.

“Dear God, thank you for making me feel again.” 

Hope clung to Adalyn everytime she talked more about her past with Lyle. She felt herself feeling love again, it feared her, although it was God’s plan and she trusted him. Adalyn walked down to the Evergreen tree, with her paper in her pocket and her pen behind her ear. She wanted to show Lyle her collection. When she arrived, Lyle wasn’t leaning against the tree. Waiting patiently for an hour Lyle was no where to see. Adalyn started to worry. For the past week, she never saw Lyle. She sat against the Evergreen for several hours, eating lunch and dinner there. He still didn’t come, when it got murky out Adalyn finally left and arrived the next morning.

“Dear God, do people always leave?”
It was exactly two weeks since Adalyn last saw Lyle. A small needle from the Evergreen tree tumbled off and the wind guided it towards Adalyn’s doorstep.

Adalyn had no concern going back to the Evergreen that brought her despair. Evening approached and Adalyn remembered to get the mail she forgot to take in all week. She skidded along her driveway,  she suddenly stopped when she saw a tall figure on the street gazing at her.
“Hello?” she questioned, slowly backing away. But then moving forward when she saw those kind brown eyes that made her feel extraordinary.
“Evening lovely,” Lyle grinned at her, pausing for a moment they watched each others stillness.
“Take a walk with me under the stars,” Lyle put out his hand, first Adalyn deferred for a moment but she felt something for him. Placing her hand with his, they walked up the street together in silence.
“Where were you? I waited for you, but you never came,” her voice started to crack, she didn’t want to lose her comfort with Lyle.
“I was lost.”
“That doesn’t matter. Tell me something about you,” without responding to Lyle’s primary response Adalyn began to talk about herself.
“I never did tell you who or what I was named after.”
“You didn’t, tell me.”
“My name means noble. The day I was born my mother noticed something unique about me, she didn’t know what it was but she felt this burning passion in her heart. As long as I could remember she would say the same thing to me before I went to bed.”
“What was it?”
“You are strong. No storm, no wind, and no pain can ever destroy you. Because my dear Adalyn you are noble, and you’re going to change the world someday, never doubt that,” when she finished they reached the Evergreen and Adalyn took out a piece of paper from her pocket and the ballpoint pen.
“Everyday for the past eight months I write a note to God and placed it in this knot hole. I have never told anyone this before,” Lyle’s eyes looked deeply into her eyes, took the piece of paper from her hand and wrote something.
“It’s our secret,” he winked at her and placed his note in the knot hole, consequently Adalyn did likewise.

“Dear Sofia, you’re missing from me.”
“Dear God, I’m finding my place in this world again.”

The sun dazzled upon Adalyn’s skin as she sat on the bench looking out. The beautifully blue streaked sky didn’t pleasure the coldness of her heart. She sat there until the sun’s rays were absorbed by dusk. Leaving bitter and doleful she placed a lengthy note in the knot hole.

“Dear God, you have taught me that people always leave. But why do the people we thought would never leave, leave us? Help me to understand because I have given up.”

Sitting against the Evergreen tree, Adalyn felt a prickling touch on her knee. Her icy blue eyes glanced down on her knee; she saw a thin keen Evergreen needle lay perfectly on her skin. Leaving it there she heard footsteps come behind her.
“Adalyn, it’s nice to see you,” Lyle appeared behind the Evergreen tree and sat meticulously next to Adalyn.
“It’s been a month,” her voice was salient towards Lyle.
“I’m sorry Adalyn,” Lyle gave eye contact to Adalyn but she didn’t return the favor. Adalyn was furious with Lyle.
“Lyle you can’t leave for a month and just come back acting like nothing has changed!” Adalyn got up from the Evergreen tree and started to walk away.
“Why are you so worked up with this? I’m just someone you talk too,” Lyle said in a meaningless tone.
“I opened up to you, I showed you where I put my thoughts. I gave you my trust, did that speculate anything to you?” Adalyn’s voice became more weak.
“I-I-I guess I just didn’t think about that...”
“When you called me beautiful did you mean it?”
“Why does that have to do with anything?” Lyle asked as he followed Adalyn up the path.
“Answer me,” she commanded.
“Yes, with all my heart,” Lyle admitted, he was a few feet away from Adalyn and he knew that he had hurt her.
“I have been called beautiful, gorgeous, and stunning countless times from many many guys. Everytime I hear it, it gets so repetitive it means nothing to me because I know that in the end they’re just going to leave. So when I found someone that stayed, I fell in love. It was that feeling of being whole. But then one day that love disappeared, and I was back to those assholes who called me beautiful and who would leave me...” Adalyn paused for a moment to wipe her tears from her face.
“Adalyn...” Lyle trailed off with a mournful look in his eyes.
“Lyle I can’t have you calling me beautiful and then leave me in the end. It’s that concept of leaving repeatedly is what I can’t bare. In the end, I’ll lose,” Adalyn looked at Lyle once more and found her heart breaking.
“You fell in love with me, you couldn’t help it,” she turned around once more, he found the truth secluded in her tears. Although, she sucked in her tears and held her breath.
“You led me on,” she left Lyle, and he stood there. Finally, recognizing what he had done.
“Dear God, we love the people we can’t have.” 
“Dear Sofia, I love you...I just can’t have you.”

Adalyn was lost. She was once again stuck in the place of numbness. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get love in return. She refused to go down to the Evergreen tree, she told herself it was a place where hope got lost. She sat in her house feeling isolated, waiting for someone to come home to her. Later that evening her sister, Alexandria, called explaining her semester was done and she was coming home for the rest of the year and would stay with Adalyn. Adalyn was thrilled, treating her sister coming home as a gift from God, Adalyn visited the Evergreen tree once more. She took out a piece of paper and wrote lightly with her ballpoint pen.

“Dear God, give me love in return, no matter what form. Give me hope.”  

Adalyn took her time walking home, looking back at the tree she noticed a figure sitting in the bold tree. Shaking her head, the figure disappeared, my head is playing tricks with me Adalyn thought to herself arriving at home.

A brown, aged, and prickly Evergreen needle gets picked up by the energetic wind and flies through the dark blue sky. The needle twists in the trees, skids along the roofs of houses, and finally lands on a doorstep.

Legend has it that an Evergreen needle brings luck to those who experience the needle landing near them. The bold and cunning tree represents “ever lasting” hence the name being “Evergreen” Only once in awhile a strong wind will blow off its needle, but other than that the needles are tightly attached to the trees branches. Some people would call this luck, but I call it hope.

Adalyn hears a knock on the door, opening the door she grasps a brown, aged, and prickly Evergreen needle on her doorstep. She looks up and in front of her is hope smiling back at her.

“Dear God, anyone willing to come back to me will be my everlasting hope.”
-Adalyn Evergreen