Hopelessly Romantic Lover Boy | Teen Ink

Hopelessly Romantic Lover Boy

June 1, 2011
By TooFlatForBFlat BRONZE, Ham Lake, Minnesota
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TooFlatForBFlat BRONZE, Ham Lake, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You're only a rebel from the waist downwards." -1984


Author's note: Although the writing style is not straightfoward, it's nessecary to show emotions visually as much a lyriclly

I went to bed that night before sophomore year with one thing on my mind: not to fall in love. I had made the mistake before, and this year was going to be different. I hoped.

*I didn’t last long though*.
I Fell Asleep
I Was Always Asleep
Me
16
Plays Bass
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Part I: Under These Stars

The first day was…less than good. Boring. I did what I normally did. Hung out with friends. Got to class on time. Life was a gear ever turning. Ever churning. I went to bed the first night with one thing on my mind: it may be boring but it’s better than last year.

*Chasing shadows, looking for something that wasn’t there.
Chasing a nightmare disguised as a dream.*


I woke up the next morning *here’s the irony* and I thought to myself, “I can do this, yesterday was good, today will be good, tomorrow will be good.”
*I didn’t last long though*

The normal morning routine was:

Meet Brandon
Brandon
15
Best friend

Meet up with Brandon in the morning and go with him to a breakfast table and hang out with some friends there. It was a good system. How could I mess that up?
*I couldn’t, but SHE could*


SHE is Heather.
Heather
16
Burning red hair

And she might be the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.
*My bet’s on best*


Brandon brought her to hang out with us. She walked with us to the table. She had amber red hair, not natural but dyed. It matched Brandon’s shirt, and mine. She joked that we all matched. *I never wore that shirt again* We walked, Brandon talked, she didn’t say much. Her voice sounded sweet, but with a hint of pain. I wondered why, but I just met her so why ask? She hardly said much and mostly stared off into space. I wondered why but I just met her so why ask? From the looks of things, I assumed her and Brandon were dating. He told me no, but they were friends.
“Like a sister” He told me.
*And later, made me wonder if he normally dated his sister*

Number? Was the question I had. Do I ask? Do I snake it from someone like Brandon?

I chose snake it.

I didn’t make it easy. At first I was sitting at the table and messed around with it. Saying “I see you” when she didn’t know my number. Funny? I don’t think so anymore.

We got to talking. She went to Coon Rapids High School the previous year. And Northdale for middle school. And University Elementary school.
*I quickly realized that we were never supposed to meet.*
She had tried to get into Blaine before, through open enrollment *even though he didn’t know that was an actual thing. I was under the idea that you went where you went and you didn’t have a fit* so she spent the better part of Freshman year an outsider, then started making friends after she knew she wouldn’t be going back. *She’s no social butterfly* Was it luck? Was it an act of God?

I asked about the “Her + Brandon = <3?” equation I had thought of all day. She told me no, not since the 6th grade. I breathed a sigh of relief *for now* and talked a little more before bed.

I went to bed that second night with one thing on my mind: not to fall in love.
*I failed*
*Miserably*

I kept this up for 2 weeks after that. Then *to my dismay* football season rolled around. That meant football games. This meant I could hang out with her there. *Crash and burn in a public environment* the stars were out that night.

It was under these stars that I fell for her. *What an idiot*

I watched as she talked and smiled and laughed. I loved her smile, the way it lit up her face, the way it went so perfectly with her laugh, as if the two were meant to be heard and seen as one experience. Her amber hair whipped and danced like flames across her face. And yet, it seemed it was the imperfections about her that made her special. I knew I couldn’t wait any longer.

I had to ask her out.*What an idiot*


I was nervous. I had doubt in my mind that someone as perfectly imperfect as her could like someone like me. I had my friend Steven
Steven
16
Big Boned
ask her for me. He left to go ask her and I began to doubt everything. She seemed to like me, right? I had spent the whole night hanging out with her, she met up with some Coon Rapids friends then me and her got separated. Did I move away from her purposefully?

I couldn’t remember. Steven soon made it back to me. He led with

“I’m sorry”


She said no.

I had seen it coming. But I had to know why. I didn’t see her again that night but after the game, I texted her. I asked why she said no. She told me she wasn’t looking for a relationship right now. My heart sunk. I figured, Of course she wasn’t. She was new to the school. She was new to everybody.

*She was new to me*
She didn’t know me, I didn’t *actually* know her. She said she wanted to get to know me more. My hopes raised a little bit.








They were soon crushed. As it turns out,
*as a surprise to me*







Two weeks later, Heather and Brandon started going out.
I don’t remember how I heard about it. I don’t care how I heard about it.



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To the bottom of
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~3ft.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5ft.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9ft.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Part II: The Deep End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following months were a blur. To realize that it was me that was the problem, and that she actually liked my best friend was an odd feeling.

*Not odd, It was awful*

By this time, the red had washed out of her hair and she had returned to being a natural blonde. Her locks of fire were replaced by hair of golden blonde. As if fate was laughing at me.

I had fell for this girl, but she liked my best friend. I learned to keep myself apart from her. In this process, I had to find a way out.

I asked out Kelsie two football games later.
Kelsie
16
Dull

I settled.

Life Lesson 1: Never Settle, Because It Never Works Out

We were not a good couple. We never hung out after school. I figured her to be a temporary solution to this “Heather” problem. So I found a way to be happy, but it didn’t last long. She was dull. She was quiet. She didn’t say much, if anything at all. When she did talk, it was never anything clever or funny.

Like Heather would.

I dated Kelsie for about month. Separating myself from Heather. It had to be done. I felt it necessary to bury my feelings for her so I wouldn’t hurt anymore. I broke up with Kelsie after a month. I couldn’t keep leading her on like this. I told her I loved her.

*But I didn’t*

I made my way back to Heathers life. I decided on being her friend. To make her happy. If being with Brandon made her happy, I would make sure it happened. I wasn’t going to sit and be sorry for myself if there was a chance at making her happy. So that’s what I did. I made her happy. And I was happy.
*But not really*

The Sno-Daze dance was coming up. I figured I wouldn’t go.

At this time I would like introduce a person of importance: Hannah.


Hannah
16
Smart as a whip



She was Heather’s best friend at school. I didn’t want to go to the dance, but I figured that since Heather was going I might as well. It was only when Hannah told me Brandon wasn’t going that I actually did want to go. I made up an excuse about me wanting to go because I was interested in Hannah, when really time with Heather without Brandon sounded like a dream. I decided to go.
*And to be honest, I’m really glad I did.*
Brandon asked me if I had an extra suit jacket, and I said yes. He then said he was going to surprise Heather by showing up to the dance. My hopes sunk, but I figured this must be going along with the whole “Make Her Happy” thing I had going. I waited for him outside the school, but had to hide and watch Heather and Hannah walk into the school. If I entered with them, there was no way I was going to be able to get to Brandon without making it obvious. He pulled up soon after they went in, I gave him the extra suit jacket, then went in.
We had to take separate ways into the school, he had a ticket and I had to buy one.
I got in pretty quick because everyone had already bought their ticket.
Life Lesson 2: Almost Always Buy The Ticket When You Get There

I lost him in the commotion of the entrance hall, then decided to go find the girls. I found them soon afterwards, and as they left for the dance floor I went to find Brandon. Needless to say, he found them first. I wasn’t there to see Brandon and Heather meet but Hannah tells me it wasn’t a pretty sight.

Long story short, She didn’t want him there. She just wanted to dance with Hannah, an imperfection of hers: She won’t dance in front of anyone but Hannah.

The night tumbled from there. As me and my friend Joe went out and picked up some freshmen to dance with, I quickly watched the roof around their relationship cave.

I didn’t want this to happen.

I wanted her to be happy.

They ignored each other nearly the whole night. She didn’t look happy. I hated seeing her like that. I decided it was something they needed to talk out. So I made them.

I left Joe to his own devices and went to go get Heather. I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from everyone else. Bringing her across the Commons, I told her to stay where she was and to not move.

Then, I went for Brandon and brought him to the same place. I put them next to each other and told them to “Be a couple” and talk it out.

I left with a sense of accomplishment. I went over to Hannah and had her fill me in on everything that happened. Heather didn’t want Brandon here, so she chose to shut herself down. Turn herself off. Ignoring everyone, except Walker Stevens.
Walker Stevens
16
Easy to talk to


I began to figure that she liked Walker now, so I talked to Walker a little bit *He is actually pretty easy to talk to, just a heads up* and figured that I could make her and Walker work.

Speaking of work, I went to check on my work between Brandon and Heather to see what was going on. They were hugging, so I figured I could forget the Walker thing and that they were back to normal.

That was the last time I saw her that night.
I was talking to some freshman when Brandon walked up and told me how it went.

“She dumped my ass” He said.
Wi th hurt in his eyes.

It didn’t immediately hit me that she was single until the next morning.

And when it did.

It was a wave.

Part III: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together

I told Brandon very honestly,

“I’m going to go after Heather.”

He understood. Completely.

*But not really*

The next couple of months went by with some conversation between me and her. I was getting my hopes up. It had seemed that she started to like me.

I thought about her constantly.

I dreamt about her.

I was happy when I was around her.

I decided it was time to figure out if she liked me. I talked to Hannah about it, but she didn’t tell me much. I talked to Meghan


Meghan
16
“Hope-Killer” “Doubt-Spawner”
And her response wasn’t a good one. She told me

“Heather is too complex for you”

“You should just give up on her”

“You should start to separate yourself from her”

I didn’t listen to her *Probably because she was so grim* and I went to Brandon next. Brandon did what I didn’t think he would. *He went all out*

Talking to her, praising me, and looking for the good answer, Brandon returned to me with bad news: She didn’t like me.





And so, just like before









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The next day wasn’t a good one. I shut myself off from her, I shut myself off from the world around me. I turned off.

This day was a b l u r. I remember Hannah noticing I wasn’t myself. I remember Heather trying to speak to me but I wouldn’t let her. I would usually meet her after 2nd hour by the library but I didn’t that day. I went right to English, where I sat next to Hannah and she almost immediately noticed something was wrong and spent the whole class trying to get it out of me. She never did.

I usually talk to Heather at lunch, but that day I ignored her.
It was the hardest thing I ever did.
And I couldn’t keep it up for much longer.

After lunch, I walked with her to my Health class then said goodbye by the stairs. She hugged me but when I tried to pull away, she surprised me:

She squeezed me so tight I could feel her heart beat. We stood there for what I wanted to be eternity. Then she left me. Just like that. She was here, and then gone. And all I wanted was to hug her. To hold her.

She told me that before we walked to class, during lunch, she had cried in the bathroom.

*I’ve regretted acting like that ever since.*

If there was one thing that everyone underestimated,

it was my determination.

Soon after that, I got the guts to actually ask her on a date. I thought she was going to say no. *Surprised me again*

I asked her if she wanted to go someplace with me sometime. Like the movies, or the mall. She picked the Green Hornet, then changed to the mall. I’m glad she did, because the movies is a really bad date idea. So we were going to go to the mall on presidents day. That was on Monday. It was a pretty good weekend.

Part IV: 6 Hours Later

It all started with a six-hour phone conversation on Thursday night. I called her at 8:30 and we talked for hours. 6 hours. About everything two people can talk about. She told me about her best friend Cassy
Cassy
16
Heathers (real) best friend since the beginning of time

And her middle school crush Jake
Jake
16
Cheater/Her little gay crush
(I’m not making this up, he was actually gay)



About how he cheated on her and she became obsessed with him over the course of middle school. She dated Brandon briefly in middle school, then went back to being obsessed with Jake. We talked till we couldn’t keep our eyelids open. We soon realized that school was going to be a hassle the next day.

The next day was interesting. We had used math to come to the conclusion that we just spent 1/4th of our day talking to each other and she wanted to know why that was weird. We spent the whole day wondering if telling Brandon was safe. I didn’t know if he was over Heather yet. We told him.

He had no reaction at first. But deep down, I knew he hurt.

Heather and I met the end of the day with a sigh of relief. Out of happiness, I scooped her up to hug her, looked into that ocean of blue and green that was her eyes and then made a mistake.
I kissed her.
I don’t know what came over me.
At all.
It was like a million fireworks going off at once.
It was like a 1,000 person choir sang out like they‘ve never been heard.
As if all the world had stopped spinning,
If just for a moment.


As I pulled away, she stared at me. I muttered a

“I’m Sorry”

I hugged her and walked to my bus.

I texted Hannah about it, but she never got back to me.

I texted Heather about it, but she never got back to me.

Over the weekend, it was on and off texting Heather. On Sunday, I decided not to talk until she talked first.

It was 12:26 when she texted me a “Hi”.


I was standing in the middle of Pep Boys auto store when I got it.

The smile I got on my face was much needed.

I think she likes me, was the thought in my head when I read it.

One word meant the world.

Monday came and almost didn’t happen. There was a snow storm that day, and Heather’s Mom almost didn’t drive her.

I sat and waited for her in the food court of the mall, twirling my phone across the table like a ballerina. She walked up, smiled at me, then we met in the middle. With a hug. The kind of hug that restores faith.

We went to Hot Topic about 4 times that day. It was her favorite store, so we went in and out constantly. Whenever she tried to buy something, I bought it for her. *That took her by surprise*

We went to Bath and Body Works when she stopped to look at lotions. She got caught in my mind when it hit me: I’m out on a date with her. HER.
If you would have told me that a couple of months ago, I would’ve laughed.

I realized that I never wanted to be away from her.
We had made it around the mall a couple times, when we took a seat on a bench outside Herbergers.

This is where I asked.

If she would go out with me.

I then said,

“You don’t have to answer right now.”

And she didn’t.

I kissed her again.

Except this time, it wasn’t as before.

She then proceeded to






shut down.

Turn off.

Go offline.

Disappear.

She didn’t talk much after that. I held her hand, but she didn’t hold back. I kissed her, but she didn’t kiss back.

It seemed like it was all over.






And then, yet again








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Do you remember Steven?
Steven
16
Big Boned (With a Big Heart)

I told him everything that happened and he told me I had nothing to worry about. And if she still said no, he would

“…Drive her to the insane asylum myself!”

So I didn’t worry.

*Yes I did actually*

Tuesday came, which established a little awkwardness between me and her. *Not really dating, not really friends.* Before she went to first hour, I kissed her. She didn’t kiss back.

I figured at this point I could keep the whole fake girlfriend thing going as long as possible.

The same happened after second hour. Kissed her, no kiss back.

I was starting to wonder when I was getting an answer.

After second hour, we walked around for a little bit before I had to go. The she hugged me and I heard her say.
“Oh by the way,”
I knew it was going to be good, because of the smile on her face.
“Yes”
Yes.




It echoed in my head



Yes.




Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes


I spoke no words. There were no words to be spoken. Why ruin it with words?

There are no words that can be written nor brush strokes laid on canvas that can describe my feelings in that moment.

It was like drinking water after being thirsty for your whole life.

She kissed me. As if to top the best moment of my life 20 seconds after it happened.

I went to third hour in a daze. When I sat down, Hannah looked at me funny.

“Are you ok?” She quizzed me with that question.

Was I ok? What is “Being ok”? I was happy. Ok? Yes. *I heard her voice echo through my head* Happy? Like I’ve never been before.

“Yeah, I’m more than ok.”

We went right from class to room 157. I sat down in a chair and stared at my computer screen in a daze. Hannah soon got a text message then nearly yelled,

“SHE SAID YES?”

I smiled a smile I’ve never used before.

“Yes,” *I heard her voice echo through my head.*

“To be fair,” She began “This probably would’ve happened sooner, but she has problems deciding things. But I knew she was going to say yes.”

Yet, if you refer to her statement it seemed to come as a surprise to her.

“She liked you back in the beginning of the year, you know”

*Ok, now would be a good time to check the date. The day she said yes was February 22nd. Back in early October was when her and Brandon started going out.*


“Wait, what?” I was puzzled.

“Yeah, she had to choose between you and Brandon and she chose Brandon.”

I was in shock. Brandon over me?

But then it came back to me.

SHE SAID YES.

“It was mostly because she knew Brandon longer that you” She backed up her statement without it being about me.

I was in a blur. After third hour, she met me and grabbed my hand.


“Look at you, taking the initiative” was the best I could muster up.
I was new to the whole “I like you” thing.

Brandon lost his glasses the day before *was it an act of God?* So he didn’t technically see us at lunch. We sat, I put my arm over her. Everything was perfect. For once, I was happy.

We hung out the following Saturday. I made the first of many trips to her house. It was a small house, with a wrap around deck. I didn’t meet her Mom the first time I was over there. We watched one of my favorite movies, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, then one of her favorite movies The Lovely Bones.

When I hugged her, she hugged back.

When I kissed her, she kissed back.

It was unbelievable.

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I didn’t want to be away from her. The next day, my cousin was having a baptism. I had to bring her with. I couldn’t be away from her. I asked her, and to my surprise she said yes.

After the (awkward) baptism, we were at my cousin’s house, in the basement with Alex
Alex
15
Cousin/Busts Caps/Needs to Grow Up

He played a Japanese shooter game on the Wii while me and her sat there on the couch and watched. He “busted caps” while I watched her laugh at the jokes Alex made. Her face lit up with that smile, and it made me smile. She said she was tired from the night before,
Fun Fact:
We’ve been talking every night till about 1:30 in the morning on the phone ever since she said yes. She said yes on Tuesday, and today was Sunday.

She said she was going to fall asleep. And she did. Right in my arms.
As she slept in my arms, I came to realize that I never wanted to leave her. I never wanted to hurt her. I just wanted to be with her. The only thing I ever wanted to do.





I told Alex to be quiet.

I told everyone to be quiet.

I let her sleep.

But I let my heart and soul wake up.






I woke up.








Hopelessly Romantic Lover Boy
Dillon LaFollette
16
Happy



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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 3 comments.


on Jun. 6 2011 at 8:20 pm
Whoa. You have some mad writing skills. I adore your writing technique, and it was an awesome story. Never give up, 'cause you're definitely going places!

on Jun. 2 2011 at 6:16 pm
SarcasticPersonInTraining BRONZE, Woodbury, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 48 comments
also i LOVE ur writing style its very unique and addicting! sorry i forgot to say that! :)

on Jun. 2 2011 at 6:15 pm
SarcasticPersonInTraining BRONZE, Woodbury, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 48 comments
OMG how are you not published!! :) i loved it! i loved that there was no dialogue and that it was kind of like poetry with the "b l u r" and "my heart sank" thing. it was all about thoughts and that was interesting. it was beautiful, and funny, cute, and realistic. thats my favorite part. becuase it was realistic that she wouldnt just run to him just because he asked her out and the rest of the story was perfect! keep writin dude ur GOOD! :) please check out my story Last Note and comment and rate please :) id love to hear your feedback!