As I walk towards the animal house, I get looks from those I pass by that say: I hope she doesn’t talk to me. I just walk with my eyes forward and try not to run into anyone. They don’t know me very well even though I have lived here for nearly ten years, but they still don’t trust me. Even if I am Jeremiah’s “sister” I am still the weird one. So I walk my lonely path through the town to the only friends I have, my animals.

Rock greets me at the door with a sloppy kiss and his fluffy toy.

ARE YOU READY TO PLAY?
Rock, man you can’t yell in my mind, it echoes in here.

Is that because there is nothing in there?
Ha, ha, Rock you are hilarious. Now where are the rest of your furry friends?

Well Jossie and Pep are taking care of their darling pups, oh and they want to
name them today. And SoHo and Jif are, I don’t know.
Okay, let’s go talk to Jossie and Pep.

Do you promise to take me for a walk after we visit with the others? Because
last time you promised you didn’t hold to it.
Yes, I will. Let’s go now.

We found Jossie and Pep gazing at their four sleeping children.
Hi guys, so I hear you want to name them. Let’s take a look at their cuteness.

Rock: I think we should name them fur thing 1, 2, 3, and 4.

Jossie: Not helping Rock.

Pep: Let’s not get nasty.
Okay, thanks for your opinion Rock, but why don’t you go find SoHo and her gang.

Rock: fiiiinnnnne.
So I think they are all unique so let’s get them different collars so we can name them.

Jossie: Okay there are two boys and two girls.

Pep: I think the boys should have blue and green collars and the girls should
have yellow and purple.
All right, so who gets what collar and what name?

Jossie: the blue collar goes to the boy on the outside and his name is Luke, and
the yellow ones goes to the girl next to him the really light one, her name is
Snow.

Pep: And the purple collar goes to the girl in the middle, her name is Star, and
the green one goes on the biggest, his name is King.
If you have no further need of me, I am going to go find Rock.

Jossie: Thank you Sterling, I know you are troubled by something, and if you
ever need to talk about it, I am here.
Thank you, that means so much to me Jossie. I turn and walk out of the room before Jossie can see the tears threatening to spill over. I take a moment to collect myself before I have to play with Rock. I know exactly where he is because he hates, looking for the cats, so he is under the maple tree in the fenced yard out back.

Rock I know where you are. So you can come out.

Darn, can you see my tail?
No, I just think you should invest in some new hiding spots, I know them all.

NO you don’t, you’re bluffing. He says as he trots up to me.
You know I was thinking of riding Sonya today, but I’m sure you would like to remain in your hiding spot, right?

WHOA THERE, girly if you think for one lousy minute that I want to stay in this
fence and find new hiding spots you don’t know me at all.
I just give raise my eyebrow at him.

Oh you were being sarcastic.
Yep, glad you caught that, Rock. I have to check on the kittens and then we’ll go okay?

Sweet I am just going to be sitting by the door, waiting patiently, like any good
dog.

As Rock and I walk into Sonya’s stall, I notice all the horses are irritated.
Sonya, what’s wrong with the others?

Sonya: I don’t know they won’t talk to me.

Rock: But you’re one of them.

Sonya: I know that Rock but they say it is nothing to concern me. They only
want to talk to Sterling.
That’s why they are all looking at me. I walk into the middle of the stables and prepare myself for bad news. Star is the speaker of the group, Phoenix’ mother.

Star: You showed a great kindness to my daughter today, and I wanted to
thank you.
It was my pleasure and she gave me the honor of naming him.

Star: Yes she did, and what a strong name you gave to our youngest. But there
is something else we wanted to tell you.
Something bad? Because the vibe I am getting is kind of tense from all of you.

Star: Well you see there is a stranger in the loft, and he has asked that you be
sent to him when you come to the stables.
Wait, do you mean to say he can speak to you as I speak to you?

Star: No, he is not so special. He asked in human tongue and I understand your
tongue fairly easily.
Is he up there now? Do I have to see him? Why today?

Star: Yes to the first and second question but I have no answer for the last.
Very well then, I will visit the man up in the loft. And I thank you for protecting Sonya for as long as you could.



Star inclined her head and turned back towards her stall, leaving me with my head spinning. Rock came up and nudged my hand to wake me from my daze.

Are you okay?
Yes, but I need to tell you and Sonya something.

Okay let’s go to our pony friend.
Sonya and Rock, I have to go up to the loft.

Sonya and Rock: Why?
There is a man up there who only wishes to speak with me so don’t look so panicked.

Sonya: Do you know who it is?

Rock: Why is he in the loft? What if he hurts you?
Well, seeing as the loft is above our heads you would hear if anything is wrong.

Rock: I know that but I don’t like this.

Sonya: I agree with Rock, this is too strange after the community has been
warned of a coming war.

Rock: WAR? Did I hear her right?
Yes Rock, members form a different Community came and warned Jeremiah that they were going to wage war with us.

Rock: And you failed to tell me this how?
Well, I thought I would tell you later, but that is not the point. I am going up to the loft and if there is danger I will talk to you with my mind. And if you feel like there ios trouble go and get Jeremiah.

Sonya: Sometimes I think you are too brave at times. Or perhaps it is foolishness
that drives you.

Rock: No, she is driven by curiosity and she wants to protect her home, I
understand her reasoning.
With Rock’s support and Sonya’s presence I walk towards the ladder and I pray that it is just someone playing a joke on me.

The wood of the ladder digs into my palms, centering me, showing me that this is not a dream. My heart is hammering in my chest I lift myself from the last rung and find I am alone. I almost laugh at myself but then I catch a glimpse of a man’s face behind the hay bales and my heart skips a beat.

“Who are you?” I feel as if I am shouting but my voice is a whisper.
The man has not moved since he has set his deep blue eyes on me. I don’t think he heard so I prepare to ask again, when he finally comes out of his hiding spot. My breath catches in my throat, because he is the man who was with the others. The one who was staring at me with sad eyes, those eyes are watching me now.
I finally find my voice and ask in a louder voice, “what are you doing here?”
“I just came to talk,” he says, “I swear. Please, sit.”
“I think I’ll stand,” I reply with a voice of ice.
“Please, I mean no trouble, I only wanted to talk to you,” he replies with a voice smooth as silk. “I needed to speak with you when we came, but I didn’t see an opportunity, so when my truck stopped for a bathroom break, I made a run for it.”
“How do you that I am the one you wished to speak with?” I ask cautiously, not knowing if I wanted to hear the answer. “And how did you get through the fence?”
“You like to ask questions don’t you?” he asked with a smile, one that faded when I didn’t return it.
I stare at him until he squirms because there is something about him that unsettles me. “I am just trying to get the facts. Now will you please answer my questions?”
“I couldn’t forget you for a minute. Ever since I saw you I knew that I needed to talk to you about the war. And I climbed the fence, the one by the pastures.” And he holds out his hands that are bandaged. “I cut myself on the barbs.”
“That looks painful. But I don’t know what I am doing here, because you haven’t told me why you wanted to talk to me about,” I could here the impatience that crept into my voice.
“Okay, here goes nothing. I came here to help your community evacuate before the war. I know all of the information; I know when, where, and how they are going to strike. I know that they are not planning on giving up, and I know that they are willing to do whatever it takes to win this war,” He finishes with a rush.
“Let me get this straight, you left your community to help ours, all because you saw me at the meet?” I ask with disbelief clearly written on my face and in my voice.
“Well, I knew as soon as I saw you that I had to help, that sounds really fake doesn’t it?” he asks with that pesky smile.
“STERLING!” Jeremiah yells from down in the stables, I nearly yell at the stranger across from me, but I manage to motion to him to hide instead.
“JER! I told you already to give me a warning, before to talk, therefore meaning yell also!” my heart is still pounding as I make my way down the ladder. “Do you know how badly you scared me just then? It was all nice and quiet and I was trying to get a little bit of relaxation time before all hell breaks loose.”
“Well, not all of us have the time of day to take a break,” Jer snaps, he never snaps at me. “Now will you help me with my plans?”
“Okay, but if you snap or yell at me I will walk out of this barn right now and run away to the Waste Lands so I don’t have to deal with your crap. Understand?” I say with hands on my hips, because I am not ready to deal with anymore moody or elusive men.
“Yes ma’am,” Jer smiles, “So here is my plan: I want to evacuate the Community.”

“Jer, we have farmed these lands for I don’t know how long, we built houses with its trees, we drink it’s sweet water, we love this land. How are we supposed to leave it?” I ask my mind thinks back to what the stranger said about evacuation. “Some of us have family who have died here and their bodies lie under our soils, you expect people to abandon the only home they’ve know, the only family they have, just because of one Community’s threat?” I shake my head; Jer doesn’t give up this easily.
“I know they won’t want to but we have to, can you not see that?” He asks with a puzzled expression. “You don’t have any ties to this community, yet you think you know these people, but I have lived here longer and I know they will do what is necessary.” Those words sting, like he has lashed my heart on my sleeve with whips of metal.
I look away so he doesn’t see the tears pooling in my eyes and say with a furious undertone, “I think you know exactly what you need to do, so I need not say anymore,” and I walk away from hurt Jeremiah has caused.

Rock, followed me at a distance while, I let my anger fade and let a coldness settle in my heart.

You know he didn’t mean it that way.
It doesn’t matter, I am an outsider to him, I am no longer any use to this Community to I might as well, pack up and leave.

No you don’t, what will I do without you? Or Sonya? Or the animals?
Well, I was thinking I would bring you and Sonya and any of the others who wanted to go with.

But, you care about this place; I saw it in your eyes when you were talking
about it to Jer.
It’s Jeremiah now, he gets no love from me, and neither does this community. I hope they burn everything, the houses, the barn, everything. I don’t care. Rock is silent at this, he has never heard this inner fury in my voice, and frankly neither had I. But I meant every word; I am the outcast, so why should I care about something that hates me.
Rock, I know you are shocked by my words, and I am kind of scared too, but everything I said is true. So are you coming with me, because I need someone to keep my heart from turning to crystal? My inner voice is pleading; my whole hard heart is begging him to say yes. I don’t know what I’ll do without him to help me out there in the Waste Lands. I have been out there once and it was horrible, I still shudder at the utter silence that is out there.

I will be your partner in crime and I will help you get Sonya to come along.
Thank you so much Rock, I don’t think I could have done it without you. Let’s go get Sonya.
With some of the weight on my heart lifted I feel like we can do this. Jer doesn’t need me, the Community doesn’t need me, only Rock and Sonya need me, and I need them.
Rock, make sure Jeremiah isn’t in there; I don’t want to face him until I am ready to leave.

He left as soon as you left but there is something I want to tell you.
If it is about Jeremiah, there is nothing else I need to know about him.

Okay. Rock says with such a sigh that I feel it in my bones.
Sonya is still in her stall waiting to be saddled as we walk towards her I see she is kind of flustered. So I stop just outside the stall.
Sonya what’s wrong?

Sonya: He is brushing me. And he is good at it.
WHO IS BRUSHING YOU?

Sonya: Don’t yell at me, it’s the man from the hayloft.
Oh, why is he still here?

Sonya: he keeps talking about how you should not have been treated that way,
and all this other stuff he keeps mumbling.
Well, I need to ask you something.

Sonya: okay shoot.
I am, I mean Rock and I are going to go out in the Waste Lands because the Community doesn’t need me anymore. They are going to evacuate anyways, why not make it easier on them and leave before they even have to try and remember me.


Rock: I am going as her only protector, a protector from herself and the
dangers of the Waste Lands.

Sonya: But Jer will remember you, you are the only one he has let into his heart.

Rock: Its Jeremiah to her now.
He has chosen his and their path, I have chosen mine, and now he has one less responsibility. Don’t try and persuade me, I am going and that is final the only question is; are you coming with?

I hear the man trying to calm Sonya down by whispering to her sweet nothings that he assumes would quiet her mind, but it doesn’t this too big of a question. Finally, I step into the stall, I scare the man and he drops the brush he was holding.
“Jeez, you should warn a guy before you jump him,” he’s fishing for a smile that is not willing to bite. “Sorry about the Jer guy, he was a real dumbass if you ask me.”

“But that’s the thing I’m not asking you,” pure venom shoots from my voice and into his veins. “But I would like to know your name.”

His blue eyes darken at my tone and he replies with a terrifyingly quiet voice, “I don’t know why you take that tone with me, when I have done nothing wrong, but I will give you my name. It is Nolan.”

For a minute I don’t speak because no one has ever been so terrifying to me in all of my life. His tone and his words make me feel ashamed, I was raised better than that, I should never take my anger out on the wrong man. “I apologize, I should not have been so cold towards you, you are not the man I am angry at,” as I look back I have a sheepish smile on my face, the only smile he has managed to get out of me.

He grins back and replies with a soft, “it’s okay, we all have those people we love so much that when they hurt you, you hate them with all of the love you had for them.”

“Oh great wise one please philosophize with me on the subject of love,” I let myself feel comfortable around him because he is not as prickly as I thought he was. “You should know that I am going to leave tonight so you aren’t stuck here.”

“Why are you leaving now? Everyone else is going to evacuate, why not go together?” He asks this innocent question and I feel myself nearly break down, but I will not do it in front of him, show no weakness. “You really don’t think that Jer is going to let you go do you?” Nolan’s expression changed from innocent man to a bewildered man in two seconds when he realized that I was going to do it, without telling Jer, Jeremiah.

“First of all, his name is Jeremiah to both of us, and you heard what he said, he called me an outcast. He has never done that before even though he knew I was the outcast. So do you understand why I am leaving?” My voice holds a note of pleading, pleading that he understands and accepts why I have to leave. “He hurt me like no one has ever hurt me before and I do not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me in pain.”

“You are so strong but underneath that core is someone who is fragile and hurt right now so you aren’t thinking straight,” Nolan is trying to convince me that I am doing the wrong thing, but he doesn’t know that I have been debating this ‘escape’ for a long time now.

“Nolan, you haven’t known he very long, so you don’t know me at all, so I will tell you that I have been contemplating leaving for a very long time. You see I have been an outcast ever since Jeremiah found me on the shore of the river. No one trusted me when I first got here, not even Jeremiah, they had me under watch all day and night. They thought I was a spy, but I couldn’t remember anything from my past, I still don’t remember anything. I am only the animal caretaker because it is the only job that doesn’t involve another community member. I don’t care if you think I am hurt, I am but I won’t let that scare me out of leaving. I’m going and that is all you need to know,” with that I turn to go. Nolan grabs my arm before I turn around and pulls me so close that I can smell his cologne, fresh and clean, not overpowering.

I tilt my head up so I have to look into his pain filled blue eyes. “You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do, but know that I am going to go with you,” he stops my reply with a finger and finishes his thought. “You may think I am stupid and all that for running away with a girl I just met but I have been running towards this moment for a long time. I was always unhappy in my Community. They are always looking for a way to stir up trouble and that is not who I am. I like peace and I like work, not war. So I ran away, I ran away for myself and now I am running away with you.” My eyes never left his and I don’t think they ever will. He has reeled me in with eyes that are steady and troubled caught me with his beautiful words.

Nolan slowly lowers his head towards mine and I know he is going to kiss me, but I can’t let that happen. He shouldn’t like me, I have been nothing but cruel to him, so I pull away so he doesn’t get hurt. I can’t look at his eyes; I know they will show only pain. So I walk to the other side of Sonya to get her saddle. He watches me the whole time I am saddling her, making feel flustered and clumsy, when saddling usually calms me.


Do you know that he is the first man to treat you as a real woman?
Sonya, don’t scare me like that, you made me jump and I don’t want him to know my secret, yet.

Well, he will probably figure it out if you don’t resume your saddling.
Yeah that’s true. Tell me when to stop when I tighten your saddle.

Stop. I think you should go pack now, if you want to get out of the house before
Jeremiah gets home.
You’re right I’ll tell Nolan, and then I think I’ll have Nolan take you out to the pasture by the broken fence.

Okay, I hope you will hurry; I don’t want to get caught.
I will I promise.


“Nolan, I think Sonya is ready, so I am going to let you take her out in the pasture by a part of a pence that is broken.”

“As long as I don’t have to climb any more fences I will be just fine,” he says with a smile that tugs at my heartstrings. “But where are you going, may I ask?”

“Well we need supplies if we are going to be on the run so I am going to run back to my house and grab them,” I reply in a distracted voice, I am thinking about all of the supplies I’ll have to grab.

“Sterling, please look at me. I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable earlier, I hope it won’t strain our newly budding relationship,” Nolan says in a quiet voice that snaps me out of my mental list.

“You don’t have to be sorry, I just don’t want to make things so complicated so soon, you know?” I ask with heart that is on the verge of breaking and tears that are waiting for the dam to fall.

“I understand, just be careful, and try not to look so suspicious,” Nolan replies in a tone that is supposed to be light but I there is a seriousness in his tone, which I cannot place. Is it disappointment? I hope it isn’t, because he will be my only human companion on this trip. So I decide to do something that is kinda crazy. Before I turn to leave I run and hug him, and whisper, “I still think complicated can work.”

I don’t look back as I leave Sonya’s stall, I don’t think my heart could handle it. My heartstrings have been pulled and teased to much tonight I don’t think they will ever return to their original shape. I am so lost in my thoughts I nearly run Rock over.

Hey there, I am still here. What happened in there? You look kind of dazed.
Well, I found out his name, it’s Nolan. And he decided to run away with us.

Wow, that is a lot. But at least he can help.
I know, but I hope I don’t screw things up with him. You know I am no good at human interactions. I mean look at my relationship with Jeremiah I think that is done for good.

Don’t worry about Jeremiah; we have to think of ourselves now.
I know. I know, but it sucks that we are leaving when our last words were bitter.

It always does. Do you want me to scout out the house?
Yes, that is a great idea. I’ll wait here until you get back.


Since I had time to think, I decided to remember one of the best times I had here. It was when I had been here for exactly one year, so I was seven, and Jeremiah was really happy about something, but he wouldn’t tell me what it was. So I was sitting at home with a book when Jer came bursting through the front door and yelled “GET A MOVE ON!” and then slammed the door. I jumped up from my spot on the couch and threw some shoes on and sprinted out of the door. Jer was waiting for me just off the porch steps and he threw me over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes and ran towards the stables. When he finally put me down it was in front of a new born foal that was just starting to stand. “Happy Birthday Ster, this is our new horse, what do you want to call her?” I just gave him this look like are you kidding me? And all he did in reply was nod his head at me. So I turned around and I knew her name already, it was Sonya.

Rock got back right after I finished my mini memory and told me the coast was clear. We walked towards my house in silence because it was one of those moments that require silence because you are saying goodbye to everything you called home.

I took the porch steps two at a time and took my key out of my pocket. The thought this is the last time I am going to be doing this flashed through my mind and made me hesitate, so I could remember the click of the key as it slid into place. But I knew I had to hurry so I quit my moping and got on with my job.

I knew what I had to get so I had Rock keep watch outside. I threw some of my favorite clothes in my backpack and then I walked towards Jeremiah’s room to get some clothes for Nolan. I can’t do this. I can’t take his things. Those thoughts were the only two while I crept into his small room. It was dark so I ran my shin into a chair, cursing under my breath. When I reached his dresser I grabbed only the clothes he wouldn’t notice were gone and left with a bit less pride than when I got back to the house. Rock was waiting for me outside Jeremiah’s door.



I think Jeremiah’s coming home, I saw him go to the stables first, probably to
see if you or Sonya were back yet. So I suggest you throw some grub in a bag
and get your ass on the road.
Yes sir. But I knew he was right so I threw some of our camping dishes in our backpacks and some food that can survive the wilderness. When I finished with the food I grabbed my knife, gun, and some matches. I was thinking about grabbing the tent, when I heard footsteps on the porch.


I looked at Rock and bolted to the back door. We had just shut it when Jeremiah opened the front door. I had to see his face one last time to say goodbye for good. He was walking through the house in a daze until he reached my room; I had left it trashed, because I thought he should know. He stopped at my door and looked on in confusion until it finally clicked. Then his fist went through the hallway wall and he started to yell. That’s when I decided to run. I didn’t want to be caught watching him when I should be running.

Rock and I made good time getting through the Community everyone was too busy packing up to pay us any mind, though they wouldn’t have paid us any mind it were a normal day. But when we made it too the pasture I felt like it would be too dangerous just to run through the field, so we took the long way through the woods.


You know it would have been nice to say goodbye to Jeremiah.
That was our goodbye Rock. He has to get on with his life, as we have to get on with ours. Are you ready to do that, or are you going to dwell in the past?

I know, it’s just I lived here for three years and it’s hard to say goodbye to the
only home you have ever known.
I glance back at Rock and I see the sorrow in his eyes that is a reflection of my own sorrow. I know Rock; it is just as hard for me as it is for you. I wish it wasn’t but it is.

Can we go a little faster because I don’t want to be caught in the walking at
night through the Waste Lands?
With that request our pace almost doubled as we came to terms with the feeling of homesickness that has settled on our hearts. I knew that it would be a hard few days but it was time for me to realize that I was walking into a dangerous reality now.


We found Nolan and Sonya waiting by the broken fence, both looked extremely happy to see us. Sonya nickered to me and Nolan gave me a smile that dug his hooks deeper into my heart. Nolan was asking me what supplies I managed to get while Sonya was pestering me about what took me so long.
Sonya, I had to pack and I was saying goodbye to Jeremiah.

Sonya: So you talked to him then?

Rock: No, more like she was peeping through the window to get a last look at
him.
Hey, we all say goodbye in different ways.

Sonya: that is still pretty weird.
Leave me alone, I think Nolan is trying to talk to me.


“- grabbing some clothes for me,” Nolan said with another heart hurting smile.

“It was no hassle. I lived with that Jeremiah guy, I hope you’re the same size.” I replied with a smile that was beginning to come more easily.

“I think we are. Are you ready to go? And how are we going to do this?” Nolan was looking at Sonya and then Rock and then back to me.

I started to think that I should have saddled another horse. “Well, we can take turns riding and walking that way we don’t wear Sonya out or ourselves.”

“Okay you can go first,” Nolan replied without a little hesitation even though I knew he was tired. “I think we should but most of the stuff in the saddle bags and carry only one back pack, what do you think?”

“Good idea, but this sounds like you have done this before.” I said that as a statement but it was more of a question. He stays silent after that, making my curious side come out again. “Have you run away before?” I ask when I feel like I can’t hold my tongue anymore.

He’s looking at his feet, not at me so I know something has gotten through and he is trying to ignore my stare. “I have runaway seven times.” He says so quietly I nearly don’t catch it. He then looks up at me and I realize my mouth is hanging open like a dog. I snap it shut and put my mind in order so I can ask another question.

“So, do you know the Waste Lands pretty well then?” I ask as he looks back at the ground and reaches into his pocket for something I can’t see. Then he unfolds a map that is of something I have never seen before. It is in ultimate detail, rivers, streams, lakes, paths, anything that could help someone survive, and then I realize he has a map of the Waste Lands, something no one else has. And I almost jump into his arms and kiss him, but that would be awkward so I just smile up at him and hand the map back. “Well, looks like I have the best guide to go through the Waste Lands with.”

At that he looks at me with new hope in his eyes, like I am the only person who has accepted him. “Everyone from my other Community never understood why I kept running away, they never accepted me, but I wanted a companion so I kept coming back hoping someone would eventually come with me. Then when I ran away to come find you, I had this feeling that you would be the person who would say yes. And now that you have, I can’t believe it’s true,” his smile is so kind and his experience so similar to mine that I go and hug him. An awkward hug that ended with him saying, “Well this is nice and all, but I think we should go before someone finds us.”

My god what was I thinking, why would he want a hug? I feel my face heat up and am glad that he is paying attention to Sonya so he doesn’t see my embarrassment. Rock is asleep so I decide to wake him up like he used to wake me up.
ROCK DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG YOU SLEPT!! WE HAVE TO GO BEFORE IT GETS TOO DARK!

Okay, okay, that was not a nice wake up. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU TO
DESERVE THAT?
All right, no more yelling. I’m sorry I woke you that way, but you have done that too many times to me. But it is time to go. Sonya are you ready?

Sonya: yes dear, but I do not like the idea of him riding me, while you walk.
It is only fair Sonya. Plus I knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

Sonya: fine let’s get you comfortable and perhaps you can sleep while riding.
That is a good idea but I think I am a little too wired to sleep right now.


Rock went through the hole in the fence than Nolan, and then Sonya, my proud little pony decided to jump it. She was an excellent jumper and I barely felt her land because we were so in sync. My last look at the farm brought with it a wave of sadness that nearly drowned me

Nolan walks in front of us in silence, looking at his map and guiding us towards some destination he has chosen. I can’t help but to stare at my surroundings, they are so different compared to the greenness of the Community, but they are still beautiful. We emerged from the boundary of the Community into a canyon of varying shades of red. Sometimes there were glints off the rocks caused by the setting sun. But the sky out here was so open compared to the glimpses of blue sky you could spy between the tree’s canopies. Even the birds were different, less chattering; only the occasional, lonely call, that seemed to make my already sad mood worsen with every call. Nolan never missed a beat; he didn’t stop to rest, unless it was for the benefit of Sonya, which I appreciated, and he never turned around.

While Nolan was distant and almost cold, I could feel Rock’s happiness at his freedom and Sonya’s pleasure of being on ground that needed her concentration. I left them to their bubbles of joy while I worried over the Community, hoping that they would at least be able to evacuate before the war. Which reminded me that Nolan had never told me when, where, or how they were planning to attack. “Nolan,” I called so I wouldn’t have to repeat myself, he jumped at the sound of my voice. “When were you planning on telling me the plans of war your people had made?” I kept my doubt out of my voice and let it sound as if I was only curious.

He glanced over his shoulder and stopped. “I didn’t really know the plans, I just said that so you would hear me out. I know that was wrong, and I apologize but it was the only thing I could think that would keep you there.” I dismounted from Sonya and walked away from him, I knew he had been lying about something. Why had I trusted him? It must have been his charming smile. Ugh, I have never fell for someone based on looks and now here I go doing just that, but instead of falling, I am following him into a dangerous environment. I was so angry with myself that my hands had started to shake and I knew if he came near me, I would deck him. I may be small but I am strong so I know it will hurt his pretty little face. Instead of him it was Rock who nudged my thigh, knowing that I couldn’t unfurl my fists.

You okay?
No, but what does it matter.

It matters a lot, we could always go back and apologize to Jeremiah.
That’s the thing I can’t because I am made at him, mad at Nolan, and mostly I am mad at myself, I let myself think that they cared about me, and that is what I am mad about.

Well, I hope you can forgive yourself. I know I forgive you.


With that Rock walked back towards Sonya, to tell her the inner turmoil I was facing. I didn’t dare look back to see if Nolan was still around. I just hoped that he was smart enough from coming near me, but hoping gets you no where because he grabbed my arm, gently, to turn me around and I went with this motioned and decked him in his jaw. “Do not touch me,” my voice was hard as rocks underneath our feet. His eyes were a deep angry blue, I could see that he was trying to extinguish the anger that had arisen to meet my own. “I think we should go our separate ways,” I say not taking my eyes off his face.

“Are you insane? I am the only person who knows the Waste Lands, do you really want to be separated from me?” His eyes were blazing now, I had stirred his anger, just like I wanted. I wanted to hit him again. “You don’t know what it’s like out here.”

“Well. I can find out on my own. You can keep your back pack of supplies and we will go our separate ways,” my voice is smooth and cold as silk, I practiced this voice for when I got angry. I turned and started to walk towards Sonya when He grabbed me again, and this time I didn’t hold back. I wanted to fight. He wanted to fight. It was time we had it out.

I punched him in his face again, and ducked when he swung his fist. I kicked his feet out from under him and straddled his hips and started to hit him. I was too light to hold him there for long, and after only four hits he reversed it so that I was lying on the cold hard ground while he straddled my hips with eyes blazing.

I prepared myself for the punch that was sure to come but instead he leaned his face over mine and whispered, “Complicated is fun,” before he brought his lips down on mine and I nearly melted. The kiss was fueled by our anger and passion, his hands twisted in my hair as mine rose to grab his shoulders and pull him closer to me. We swapped positions many times but we only stopped for breath and we came back for more. I was the first to pull away because Sonya and Rock both were thinking that it would be nice to find shelter before things got too out of hand.

I was breathing hard and trying not to look at Nolan as I got back up. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. I couldn’t look at him knowing that there was probably a bruise on his cheek from where I had punched him. His fingers lifted my chin so I had to look at him. “You don’t have to apologize to me, I would have punched someone if they were lying to me too. But don’t you think what we just did was a much better way to vent our frustrations?” I looked into his eyes and nodded my head as he pulled me into a hug that was comfort, strength, and something else that was just a beginning, all in one.

“I think you should know something about me,” I said in an unsteady voice that I was shocked at how I sounded. “I was the outcast in my Community for a reason, I was found on the shore of the river by the Community and Jeremiah found me. At that time I was around six and I can’t remember anything from before waking up in a bed with Jeremiah leaning over me. I was taken under his care and given a home and care, but only from him. The others didn’t trust me, they all thought I was a spy or something, claiming I had lost my memory. But I wasn’t and I told them so, under a lie detector, and still they didn’t believe me, only Jeremiah did. So when I was younger I never left the house unless I was following Jeremiah along somewhere. It was about a year after I had been found that Jeremiah gave me Sonya, she was just born. I had walked up to her and she never flinched, never stepped back or looked defensive, and Jeremiah was shocked at this, because even the mother was letting me near her new foal. But I found the reason of this when I heard a childlike voice in my head say, “Do you want to be friends?” it was Sonya, she had talked to me through my mind, she knew that I could hear her because I was telling her, without meaning to, that she was the most beautiful thing in the world. Then her mother said to me, “Do you want to name her dear?” I couldn’t believe it, I was getting a horse but also a friend in the span of one day, so I immediately started to think of names that I liked, but I always asked my new friend what she thought of them, so when I said Sonya, we looked at each other and I swear she had laughed in my mind while I laughed out loud. Jeremiah was looking at me like I was insane when I told him all about my ‘gift’ and told me to never tell anyone. At the time I didn’t understand why I couldn’t yell it everywhere I went, but I understand now he was sheltering me from becoming more of an outcast.”

My eyes were pleading with him to understand, I couldn’t stand it if he turned away from me now. “You know I knew there was a reason I liked you,” Nolan said with a smirk that I wanted to wipe off his face with my fist, but I held back. “I knew that you were different when I say you in the stables, you didn’t know this but I was watching you ‘talk’ to the horses. I thought it was weird how you could just go in the circle of horses and calm them down just by being there. Then when you were brushing Sonya, you were looking at her face the whole time, and your facial expressions changed like you were having a conversation. So you don’t have to worry about me pushing you away, I want to pull you closer and ask you million of questions, but I think we should find some shelter first then we can talk,” Nolan grabbed my hand and walked back to Sonya and Rock.

Rock: That was a beautiful punch you landed, I think the bruise will last awhile.

Sonya: Shut up Rock. Have you to made up so I don’t have to buck him off while
he rides?
Rock you are so gonna pay for your words someday, maybe another rude wake up or something worse. Yes Sonya we have made up.

Rock: More like made out.
Rock I swear to goodness if you don’t stop harassing me I will put a cone on your head for the rest of this journey. And we don’t know how long this journey will be, do you want to risk that? I listened with pleasure to the quiet in my mind that Rock had caused with his sudden silence.

Sonya: Do you think you could tell him that I would prefer a place of rest where
there is a stream and grass that I may graze on?
Yes I can. Rock, do you have any preferences as to where we may rest?

Rock: No master. I am but a humble servant that may be abused for saying his
opinion out loud.
I rolled my eyes at him and turned to catch Nolan watching me with eyes full of questions. “Sonya would prefer it if we rested at a place near a stream that has some grass that she may graze on.” He nodded and said something under his breath that I couldn’t hear so I ignored it.

“Can I ask you some questions? I have been dying to ever since you told me and I think I just might die if I don’t get some answers soon,” Nolan is smiling but I know he is being honest.

“Yes you know I can’t stop you from asking them,” I reply with a sincere smile. He is watching me with curious eyes, probably wondering how I can be so nice. Like I was really that bad before.

“Okay, but you can’t laugh at my questions,” he stares at me for so long that I finally reply, “Okay, I promise, now onward with this interrogation,” my smile reaches out and sooths his self consciousness.

“How do you talk to them? Like is it with pictures, or words, or is it like a fusing with the mind?” I see why he asked me to promise not to laugh.

“It is like a fusing with the mind I would say, because we can share feelings, words, and pictures, it is all up to the animal and how comfortable they are with me,” I look at him as he ponders his next question and I love the way his brow wrinkles in concentration.

“Now have you ever done anything like take over an animals mind?” his gaze is steady now and I know he doesn’t mean to offend me but it does. He registers this before I have to answer and his eyes a pleading with mine for understanding. “I’m sorry, I didn’t, I don’t know where that came from. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just thought because you order Rock and Sonya around I just assumed to take over their minds. I’m sorry Sterling, really sorry I asked that question,” he doesn’t look away from me as he says this and I respect more for it but it still hurts that he assumes something so terrible of me.

“No I cannot do anything like that. Sonya and Rock have been my friends for a long time, they respect me enough to do as I ask because they understand why I ask them. They are smarter than humans think, I always take my troubles to them because they tell me when I worry that humans are fickle creatures I love them for that. They help me in so many ways that I am indebted to them for the rest of my life.”

“Well, if I have to ask anymore offensive questions I will remind myself that I am a fickle creature,” Nolan understands that I don’t an apology I only need an understanding.

“Have you seen any sites to rest for the night? I think I see something up ahead but I don’t know if it will be good for a night in the Waste Lands,” I point towards a large cluster of what look like pine trees.

“I think that looks good. I will gather fire wood if you want to set up camp?” Nolan starts for the woods with Rock trailing after him as I walk into the clearing and unsaddle Sonya and make camp. I am done before Nolan so I start the fire with what little twigs and things I find. I am beginning to worry when I finally hear Rock crashing through the trees. He must love being able to run free out here and that makes me smile.

Sonya walks over from her grazing spot and puts her muzzle on my shoulder just a quiet reassurance. Thank you. I say and she just lips my hair and goes back to grazing. Rock appears bringing with him a frantic air.

They took Nolan and their coming for you.
I don’t register anything but “they took Nolan.” Who took Nolan, Rock? Who took Nolan?

I don’t know but we have to go.
We can’t just let them take him. We have to help him.

We have to go.
I am not going, I am not leaving Nolan. Rock is looking behind me at something and before I can ask I am knocked unconscious. The last thought is; they took Nolan.