“Still don’t get why you keep going back there. It's just a bunch of people ripping themselves apart and you don’t even do your work or have friends there.” Moss said ready to argue with me again this week on the same subject 

“I told you, it just gives me something to do during the day until we die,” I argue back.  

“Then why don’t you just get a job that is something to do all day and you get money,” he asked 

“Because money doesn’t matter to anyone, people are just stealing stuff now,” 

“But school does?” 

“Oh my god just shut up or I will push you off the roof,” 

I got up and opened my book bag pulling out my paints. Moss and I had been painting the roof of my house for the last few days. There was no rain to wash it away and my mom didn’t leave the house so she will never even see it. I don’t know what it is supposed to represent. I feel like it tells a lot about us. We could be traveling or doing drugs like the other kids, but no we were painting the roof, We were painting all our favorite things. Moss's side was a lot more colorful than my side. I look over at Moss he didn’t look good today his skin was left yellowing and there was a deep purple under his eyes and the smell of rotten flesh came of him, but I didn’t know if that was what he looks like in real life or it was in my head. there was no doubt that he was really sick but I couldn’t tell how sick but he was definitely different.  I didn’t know if he was really sick or if it was in my head. I didn't know if Moss just seemed sinker than everyone else because I cared about him the most. But he wasn’t going to say anything and I wasn't going to ask because I didn't want to know the truth. I don’t want to know if it is in my head or real. I couldn’t stand the idea that he was spending his final moments painting my roof the most random and pointless thing. 

“Hey do you want to do something crazy with me,” Moss asked without putting his paintbrush down 

“Crazier than painting my roof,” I asked dully  

“Ah a little bit, do you want to plant a bunch of trees with me inside of going to school?”

“But they will not grow it’s to dry out and there is no rain the sun will cook them,’’

“Yes but I know where we can get water, you know how the government gives us a Gallon of water each day for cooking and drinking?”

“Yes, but I am not wasting all my water on plants,”

That's the thing we don’t use our water, you know how people have abandoned their houses? They still get water sent there, and we break into their empty houses and take the water for the plants,” he explains it was not a terrible idea it would work but was it worth it? What difference would it make if we're all going to die before it grows big and strong enough to make clean air? But this could also be the last thing he wants to do before he dies. Maybe he is desperate or he has hope I can't crush him when there is so little of him left or maybe he was doing it for me.

“Ok bet let's start tomorrow,” I push away the idea that there might not be a tomorrow

“Great, I already got all kinds of different tree seeds and sprouts. We can make a forest,” he said with a small smile. The first one in a while he had paint smeared on what was left of his cheek he almost looked young again. 

The next day I did not go to school. We were going to spend the day planting trees all over the field that was about two blocks away from our houses we had played there as kids. It was from what we now abandoned. We walked over there polling everything in two wagons behind us 

“This is going to be great,” Moss said as he followed beside me I could see his mussels straining he was getting weaker 

“Do you want me to pull your wagon for you? Just the rest of the way,” I asked him 

“No, why would I let you pull my wagon? If anything I should be a gentleman and pull your wagon he said as he spend up to walk next to me. Fine, I thought if he wanted to ignore it I will too. 

Once we got there we got to work digging up the ground and planting the sprouts Moss flung dirt at me and threw rocks at him at the end of the day. After running around and digging holes all day there were a ton of little green plants sticking up. Moss broke his radio and danced around it was peaceful and easy. 

“We did good today Juno,” Moss said as he clapped his head down on my shoulder. I turned and gave him a hug. He seemed confused at first but then hugged me back before he started coughing and his blood splurged out of his mouth. We walked home in the dark. Why did I waste my time at school when this could have been my everyday thing?

When I walked into my house my mom was in the same spot she has been for the last three days. My mom had given up when I started seeing things. I had tried to help her get her up to get her moving to come outside with me to get her dressed and eat food. But now she sat in her chair and ordered things offline that she would never use. The house has become a hoarder dean. She smelled like pee. She didn’t look up from her computer when I walked in. I didn't bother to say hello. She was not going to respond. I went into my room I had to walk over the build-up of things on the floor and the stairs things like an ice cream maker and teeth whitening strips I  closed the door behind me it was now the only room in the house that was not filled with my mom's online orders how was I supposed to help my mom when I didn’t care enough to help myself it was metrical that I got out of bed.  

It has been three days since Moss and I started planting and watering plants breaking into the empty houses on our block. It was a lot easier than we had thought half the doors were unlocked and all we had to do was bring a bucket into the house and fill it. But Moss had gotten worse way worse. He was a shade of green and every time he did too much work he threw up. The same way my stepdad was before he died. Today we were in our empty field full of little plants trying to grow in an investment that did not want them.

 He started coughing again and didn’t stop. I look around our field, when we had got here three days ago there was no color but now there was green everywhere it was like we were putting the color back into the world. but know my only light was leaving the world

“Juno?” he asked when he stopped coughing 

“Yeah,” 

“What are you going to do with my body?”

“I will not have to do anything you are going to peacefully die in your sleep like how we planned when we were little,” I said avoiding eye contact  

“But what if I die in my sleep right here,” he said as he lay back and closed his eyes 

“You not allowed to do it here, go home and get in bed first,” I said I hid my fear 

from him he could not just lay back her in the dirt and tell me that he could leave me to take care of his body, he couldn’t leave me in general, 

“Juno, I'm really sick,” he whispered. He was serious this time. I reach for his hand. It was cold and there was no skin and he was so sick he was too sick but he was all I had left and he couldn’t go yet. he need to pull the wagon home like he always does 

“Juno?” he whispered 

“You can’t go yet,” I said feeling my voice creak and tears round down my face 

“I need you, the trees need you, the world needs you and your art and your jokes and I need you and I always will.”

“I'm sorry Juno,”

“No don't do this I can't give you up,”

“I guess we could have taken better care of the plant,” he said with a laugh 

“I should have taken better care of you,” I whispered back my tear dripping on his shirt while he lay there.

“Moss?” I whispered after he had failed to respond, “is this real?” 

He looked at me for a long time like he was trying to figure out if he should lie to me or not.” 

“This is real but not your version of real,” he said “I'm not sick because there are no trees or air, I'm just sick.”

“How do I know for sure this is real.”

“Is anything really real Juno?”

“I wanted you to stay is real.”

That's when he started to cry not like he had much water left in him. 

“You haven’t finished your painting yet,” I said throw sobs 

“I haven’t got married either or had a family or a pet raccoon,” I don’t answer him. I had known that one day we would be here and I would go home alone. I know he planned it that way and it hurt that he knew today was the day and he didn’t tell me. It made me want to fight with him to yell and scream and rip up the trees but I refused to be mad in my last moment with him. 

“Finish the painting for me? And water the trees,” he said softly as I laid down next to him still holding his head. 

‘Ok, I will,” 

“I love you and I think you're the only person I have ever loved.”

“I love you more,” I whispered back as he put his head on my shoulder as we lay down in the sun I noticed his skin was back on his body my mind must be giving me the grace to let me see the real him before he left

 he told his last breath while I held mine 

And then it started to rain.