what happened next?

I hope you don't mind criticism. I've found that's how I improve most in my writing. First off, one of the main things is that you always refer to Mot as either "Mot" or "He." This gets a bit redundant. Try interspersing those with descriptive phrases or adjectives such as "The boy" or "The young man." Also, I find it hard to picture Mot. You need to describe him, paint a picture of him in your reader's mind. At the least give us his age, or an approximation of it. Secondly, this is more of a format thing, every paragraph should be indented and separated from the others. That's the nitpicking in me coming out. Third, the whole thing is a bit choppy. It doesn't seem to flow very smoothly. Sort of like this. I am giving you an example. See what I mean? You need to vary the lengths of sentences more; most of them are short, with a few long. That's the main points I see. Hope this helps you to improve your writing.

I want to know what happens! Write more about this story!

Very creative. I enjoyed it and look forward to reading your next story.

This is my first teenink story!