There are those who fit right in and those who don’t really belong. You have the nerds, the geeks, and the “populars.” We’re simply never seen as typical human beings. For some reason we always have to be classified or judged. In school, out of school, it’s everywhere. We can never be who we truly are in fear of what might be said about us. Personally, I feel at peace and feel like I belong when it’s just me. Alone. Yes I do love being with my friends and family, but I also have the right to be myself while doing that. Everyone knows it isn’t the easiest of things to do. Being alone is a time for me to be myself and not what others wish to see me as. Being alone is a chance for me to just think in order to just take a moment to see what’s happening around me.
Choosing to spend some time alone is a lot different then being lonely. Spending sometime with me, myself, and I—it’s a good thing. I feel like I can be myself and not worry about everyone else for a moment. I don’t have to worry about how I look or what others might think. Sometimes I’ll stop and say to myself, “ I am who I am. I’m a 15-year-old no-trouble-at-all kind of girl.” I take the time to remind myself of who I am and everything I know about myself. Most of the time we tend to forget who we are with all of the pressure of what we need to do to be part of the “in-crowd”—stretching back and forth like laffy taffy, hoping to one day be like what we see in the media—“cool.”
When no one’s around—when it’s just me—I write. Even though I’m alone, I am still left with my thoughts. When I’m alone it’s the one time things actually seem clear. All that I need is a piece of paper and a pen and I can create my own world, a perfect or imperfect sanctuary of thought in which the time is consumed by the peace. I’m free to write about—really whatever I’d like to. I’m able to take all of my emotions, feelings, and thoughts and put them on paper. Through writing I can take a second look at how I really feel. Allowing myself to re-examine my thoughts gets me to question myself. I’ll stop and say, “ Why do I think that?” Half the time I don’t even realize what I’m saying until I say it out loud.
People usually have trouble accepting things for how they really are. We only see the world as we would have it. The true value and worth of things is masked by all of the lies we’ve drilled into our heads—masked by the mad struggle to be what we see as perfect. I like to stop and take a look around me when I’m alone. I try to open my eyes and see the real world, the one most of us can’t see. Being completely open-minded, I look at everything and take the time to appreciate it because even I forget to be thankful for what I have.
For some reason, we always have to be classified or judged. You have those who fit in just fine and those who don’t really belong. You have the nerds, the geeks, and the outcasts… the list goes on. Most people have a place on that list, but I’m proud to say that I don’t. I’m not a nerd, a geek, or any of those things. I am—well, me!