…or so they say. With the increase in technology, texting, email, facebook… its not a surprise that there is an increase in the people who are in long distance relationships. But do they really work?

Out of sight out of mind? Or does this really depend on how much you love that person, enough to think of them even when they are not there? Or just enough to love them when they are? It depends of what type of long distance relationship you are in; prolonged separation for example one of you going travelling is very different to living far apart from each other but still being able to see each other.

One of the hardest things to deal with is the lack of affection. Having someone you love to be there for you when you need them most is really important and when you don’t have that, it’s hard to not look elsewhere for someone else to give you that type of affection. Words only mean so much and sometimes even just one hug could do so much more for you. Being in a long distance relationship makes you realize that you have to be strong, of course you have your friends out there who you can rely on but sometimes it just doesn’t compare to the one you love. It can be tempting to fall into someone else’s arms for just one night but that one night could ruin your whole relationship. You have to build up strength to do without until you next see them or until you can next talk to them.

Communication is essential. Being stubborn is not. Coming to an agreement on when you are going to talk to each other is very wise because you will then be aware, roughly, when you will speak to your loved one. If you don’t do this you might go days without speaking and not realize why. If you know you are going to talk to that person in 3 days, it gives you something to look forward too, and you might sit there and sob down the phone but it will be worth it. Don’t spend hours texting, emailing or talking about how hard you are finding it, how much you want him there with you, that you keep crying… the more negative things you say the more strain it puts on the relationship. It will make him think that you are finding it too hard and make him worry (although he won’t admit it). Obviously you should still tell him you miss him but don’t turn it into a negative thing. Tell him you love him, tell him what you have been doing and ask what he has been doing.

There is no point even attempting a long distance relationship if you have no trust. If you do, it doesn’t mean its going to be easy, but if you don’t, it is definitely going to be hard. It’s not easy to put all your trust into one person but when you do, it will be worth it. If your boyfriend is away, and will have other girls around him, the last thing you will want to be doing is checking up on him, through facebook, pictures. Your life will constantly consist of you being paranoid and its not healthy. Having full trust doesn’t mean you won’t get worried once in a while, that’s what keeps your relationship alive, but as long as your worries are always put at peace, then you have a very healthy relationship.

It’s hard to give advice about love, or the absence of it, because it will be different for everyone. But the key things to remember are trust, communication and just living for that feeling you will get when you will next be in his arms. Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Maybe not, but absence doesn’t empty your heart either. Do long distance relationships work? Well that’s down to you. For me, I still have 10 months to go until I get to see him again but it doesn’t make me love him any less, it doesn’t make me give up hope. If like me, it’s going to be a long time until you can see them again then you have to take it by the day, not by how long it is until you next get to see him because I can guarantee that will never make you feel better. Cherish when you can speak to him and look forward to the next time you do.

If you have trust and you love him, then don’t give up hope. Don’t listen to those who say it won’t work; prove them wrong. Believe in it even if everything even if life is giving you every reason not to believe.