I've never been lucky in love. i always predicted the end of every relationship I've been through , I expected every single word I've been told, every little fake emotion i thought real so far. All along this road, i was guided by an angel. the one who protected me from harm, wiped away my tears. The one who brought this joy and happiness to my life. He was a bright angel. a shiny diamond.

Suddenly out of nowhere He became the main character of my most beautiful and painful relationship. He was the charming prince of my story, the beast in0 my nightmare.

Still i couldn't keep grudge against him, because above all he was and still is my best friend. the one i loved just like a brother, the one i shared my secrets with just like a shadow. The beginning of the relationship was as sudden and blurry as its ending. I won't lie and say i was fine with it. it hurt deeply. But as i like to say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. and i think both of us are today. 6 months after "the crash" things started over. But this time it's much more different. we grew up, learned from our mistakes, and we do know unlike the first time the risks and damages it would cause to play with each other's feelings.

how do i feel after all that?. Fine! i should say that it is Incredible how things can change! how a single person can turn your world around. how a single person can make you cry until you bleed or make you laugh until you cry. i haven't forgiven him yet, but i don't feel i have to. not now anyway. He makes me happy though i want to kill sometimes! But i can't. not because i wouldn't know how to live without him but because i owe him so much.Despite the fact that he hurt me more than anyone else, he made a sens to my dreams gave a point to my existence. he shared my secrets, my hopes, my fears, He made me unique, i don't need a mirror to see myself anymore. i only have to look into his eyes to see the reflection of the perfect person he made out of me. Of course there are times when none of us can stand the other one, when he becomes the last person i want to hear or see, the last person i want to think about. These times when i feel we're completely disconnected. these times when he does nothing to help me feel less insecure, the times when he is too tired to think of both of us instead of thinking only about himself. when I'm too depressed and keep on complaining to him about things he can't change for me or fix. when i talk too much till he gets bored or tired! or when he underestimates my pride or feelings. These times are common in every couple. But they whether make us more in love or add more space between us.

I also owe him an apology for all the past mistakes and future ones( I already know i will make them!) and i wish him to be patient with me because i do get mad at myself by my own sometimes. I might not show him my feelings as often as i should and i don't trust him as much as i must but i do care for him, think about him and love him more than anyone would ever do. I hope he'll never forget this.