Finally, I am free

I was suffocating, and I didn’t even realize it.

I never noticed how much life I was missing out on. How many experiences I passed up on just because you told me I should. How many friends I never made because you wanted me all to yourself. You were controlling me and I didn’t see what was wrong with it.

You made me distance myself from my friends. My problems didn’t seem like problems to you. You were my priority while I was your past time. I gave you praise after your games, even if you didn’t do your best. Meanwhile, I barely got a congratulations for some of my biggest achievements. You made me think that the things happening in my life were not as important as they really were. You stole the joy from some of the biggest moments in my life, and for that, I resent you.

Then one day, you decided I was not good enough for you. After all the years spent together, suddenly they meant nothing to you. I expected to feel nothing but hurt when you decided to leave, but instead I felt nothing but relief. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I knew I would no longer have to run my plans by you. I no longer had someone holding me down. I no longer had to cut myself off from some of the people I really needed in my life, the people that made me realize my worth.

After you left, I realized so much about myself. I realized that I am an incredible person and I should never be limited. All of my accomplishments are big deals, even if you made them seem like they weren’t. I am capable of so many things, one of them being able to completely live without you. I realized I could do anything I wanted to with my life knowing I no longer had to please you. I recognized how much effort I put into my relationships with you and how much less you put into it. It was in that moment that I decided I deserved more; I deserved better.

So thank you. Thank you for showing me I didn’t deserve to feel like I was trapped, knowing you were always going to find something wrong in what I said or did. I didn’t deserve to have someone restrict the things I could do in my life. I deserve to be reminded of the potential I am full of.  I deserve to feel the love that I tried to give you. You’ll realize how good I was to you, and you’ll try to come running back. But just know, I won’t be there anymore. I’ll be long gone because you are no longer holding me back.

Sincerely,
The girl who has never been happier