I was tapping through snapchat stories the other day and stumbled upon the story of a snapchat friend swirling a burning joint around like one of those little sparklers on the fourth of July. I tend to see this alot on instagram and snapchat and I can’t help but just think about the purpose of posting videos like that. They aren’t entertaining or interesting, just a plain video of someone smoking that I really didn’t need to see. Again, this brings the question of why some people act so ridiculous and embarrass themselves all over social media. Is it the need for attention? The answer is yes and social media fuels that need.

The want for attention is not an abnormal thing. We are all human and we all want it. In her article “What to know about attention-seeking behavior,” Wendy Wisner explains that it is a human instinct to want to be noticed or loved. This desire can take over so much that certain people who do not get enough naturally go out and seek that attention and validation. Attention seeking can range from something as little as fishing for a compliment to engaging in promiscuous and provocative behavior for validation. 

Attention seeking behaviors can usually stem from low self esteem for someone struggling with depression, jealousy, or feeling left out. These causes often lead to more negative ways of getting noticed such as doing drugs or drinking on social media for attention like I mentioned before. Cassidy also mentions how the fear of missing out (FOMO) plays a large role in our need for attention and social media. We fear that we will be missing out on something that everyone else will experience which can lead people to make decisions that they don’t actually want to make for some validation.

For teens specifically attention seeking will always be something that is prominent but has now become even more noticeable with the involvement of social media. Social media tends to promote a need for attention based on likes, followers, and shares. Amanda Cassidy wrote an article titled “Social media has turned us into needy attention seekers” in which highlights that being acknowledged is just a part of the game of social media. We post our best looking pictures, our beautiful vacations, and even our bad habits that make us look cool or fun like partying and drinking. 

While the system of social media promotes attention seeking behavior within itself, it doesn’t all just stem from the like button, but also the trends created on social media. A really prominent trend around summer time that I have noticed is “hot girl summer” or “hot boy summer.” Lots of teens like to have their own definition of this trend, but the main premise is to engage in promiscuous behavior, raising their body count, breaking hearts, etc. This trend in particular encourages social media users to engage in attention seeking behaviors because everybody wants to fit in not realizing that they are just trying to gain validation whether it be from the sexual aspect or just being a part of the trend itself. 

As I’ve already said once, the desire for attention is human nature, so how could we possibly escape human nature mixed with the unforgiving toxicity of social media? The first step is to stay away from the media, basic answer right, but it is what is necessary. Without social media, it makes it a lot easier to gain positive validation from your friends and family. The next thing to do is to view attention seeking behaviors through a different lens, a less negative one. We can start to realize within ourselves and others that these really embarrassing, uncomfortable, and obviously attention grabbing posts and actions are a possible cry for help. 

Therefore next time we see these posts and feel second hand embarrassment we should maybe shoot the poster a quick text or DM and ask them how they’re really feeling. In that we can find out if this person needs some real help… or if they’re just being an idiot.