Sexual Identity Confusion in Adolescents: Traditional Family Values and Possible Solutions | Teen Ink

Sexual Identity Confusion in Adolescents: Traditional Family Values and Possible Solutions

July 18, 2021
By PATRICK13993 SILVER, Jiangsu Suzhou Kunshan, Other
PATRICK13993 SILVER, Jiangsu Suzhou Kunshan, Other
7 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Homosexuality has long been a controversial topic in modern Chinese society. Even now, many Chinese parents are hesitant to accept or even understand homosexuality, which causes great harm to homosexual teenagers. According to a recent news story, a high schooler who identified himself as gay quarreled with his parents. His parents, believing that a family needs to be composed of a heterosexual couple and their biological child, could not tolerate their child having an abnormal sexual orientation. This story reflects the traditional family norms in China that don't accept homosexuality. It seems that the difficulty of accepting homosexuality in China is due to misinformed perceptions of marriage.For thousands of years, family conflicts faced by homosexual teenagers mainly stemmed from China's belief in "reproductive love.” This term means that people get married solely for the purpose of reproduction because they are under the pressure of society, family,and traditional ideals. In reproductive love, people often decide who to marry according to all kinds of material and rigid standards, in order to breed the next generation and support the previous generation together, in which the protagonist's feelings are ignored.
 
In traditional Chinese culture, raising children is regarded as one's duty and filial piety is respected, many people even consider it a social offence not to do so.Although traditional Chinese beliefs, heavily influenced by Taoism and Confucianism, hold that marriage and procreation are the main duties of adults, many descriptions of same-sex love can be found in ancient Chinese literature. Thus, a person's obligation to pursue a family with a male heir, and his or her sexual orientation is not a concern. Though China has become more open after a series of events such as the reform and opening up, marriage has changed from being handled by parents to having some freedom of choice for the parties involved. But Chinese parents' desire for children has not changed. Parents can't accept that their children can't have children, and they can't accept that their children are gay. In a survey jointly conducted by the UN Development Program and the Beijing LGBT Center, 11.1 percent of heterosexual participants said they were unable to accept LGBT family members, while the rejection rate for other social relationships ranged from 2.1 percent to 4.1 percent. At the same time, because of the importance of filial piety in Chinese culture, children in many Chinese families are tame to their parents and must support them. The two elements of a reproductive relationship, in addition to the reproduction of the next generation, are shared responsibility for each other's previous generation. Therefore, this is also a source of stress for many people. Parents think that without marriage and childbearing, their children can't support them, and probably won't be able to support them in their old age. In such a family environment, we can imagine the pressure and difficulties that teenagers have to face when they reveal their sexual orientation to their parents.
 
The Chinese government's secretive attitude toward LGBT is also a big obstacle to teenagers coming out. On the one hand, they receive discrimination from their peers and even their parents; on the other hand, they can't get proper education and sex knowledge. Although China is home to the world's largest population of LGBT people, until a decade ago they were invisible and hidden. China's State Administration of Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television, while not banning LGBT shows outright, has censored them, saying they are not suitable for the general population.According to a 2012 survey conducted by the Aibai Culture and Education Center, 77 percent of respondents had experienced bullying based on their sexual orientation or gender identity, and 59 percent said bullying had a negative impact on their academic performance. This study shows that in China, LGBT community is still not accepted and understood. This has a lot to do with the concealment and evasion of the government on this issue. According to the China Country Report published by the United Nations, the Ministry of Education's sex curriculum rules often focus on a standard framework of heterosexual norms, or often promote sexual abstinence and sometimes teach about the mobilization of homosexuality. That means high school students don't get information about gay, lesbian, bisexual and bisexual issues, and sometimes are exposed to information that homosexuality is a medical or psychological disorder.
 


Research shows that the main pressure faced by homosexuals in China comes from their parents who can't accept their child’s sexual orientation. In 2016, the United Nations Development Programme released a report titled “Being LGBT in China.” According to this report, family is the place where sexual minorities in China suffer the most.

For thousands of years, family conflicts faced by homosexual teenagers mainly stemmed from China's belief in "reproductive love.” This term means that people get married solely for the purpose of reproduction because they are under the pressure of society, family, and traditional ideals. This kind of action is actually encouraged by today’s Chinese government for multiple reasons, with one of the major reasons being that they need to ensure there are enough youth to build Chinese society. The aging population in Chinese society is accelerating, and the recent implementation of two-child or three-child policies illustrates this point. Also, parents believe that children will live a happier life if they form a "normal" family, which means entering a heterosexual marriage and having children.
To solve this problem, people should consider several aspects. First of all, we should popularize education on sexual orientation among middle-aged and elderly people. Secondly, governments and organizations should publicize and educate that a marriage based on love is the ultimate ideal.
The formation of sexual orientation can also be formed through interaction between others. Take me as an example, in my memory, my father has always been working hard outside to support the family. I could hardly see him in my family because he always went to work when I was still asleep and came back at midnight. This caused an embarrassing situation is that I was lack of love from my father from a very young age. Instead,my mother is a typical kind of Chinese parent. She is strict and sometimes even demanding. This leads to a serious imbalance in the proportion of love I get from my parents. As a result, after exploring my sexual orientation, I found the fact that I am a homosexual. And the reason was because I was lack of solicitude from my father. So, if both parents can care about children. Listening to their thoughts and feelings carefully, the risk of becoming homosexual may be lower.
At the same time,the charity organization will be of great help in advocating the essence of LGBTQs. As we mentioned before, China has always been trying to avoid the topic of homosexual, not only in the public, but also in textbooks. Perspectives such as sexual orientation and gender diversity are absent from government’s consideration and sometimes the literature is hostile to sexual and gender diversity. Furthermore, the textbook on sex education for parents, defines homosexuality as a form of deviance. This harmful misrepresentation of sexuality prevents LGBT youth from understanding their sexuality and will be harmful for their mental health.
So, LGBT organizations should work to expand the sexual education curriculum in China in order to battle discrimination and bullying created from incorrect knowledge. An effort must be made to identify existing teaching materials and textbooks which may contain invalid information on sexual orientation and gender identitythat may lead to misunderstanding of this minorities.Then the members of organization need to propose changes to the relevant authorities. The proposed changes should include the integration of LGBT perspectives and curricula into new teaching materials.By working with teachers, educational institutions, and authorities to stop bullying. Proper education regarding safe-sex practices and diseases prevention such as HIV is also necessary. By acknowledging and addressing sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexual health in curriculums at China, the LGBT could successfully lessen the effects of homophobia manifested in discrimination, bullying, harassment, family disapproval, social isolation, and violence. 
In conclusion, the main reason why parents find it difficult to accept their children’s sexuality is that they believe only a "normal" family and having children will give them a happy life, even if the cost of doing so is tying together two people who don’t love each other. The idea that reproduction is top priority is not only deeply rooted in society, but also continues to be publicized and encouraged by the government.



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