We’re always told to love ourselves for who we are, not for what we look like. Yet we’re constantly reminded of the things we hate most about ourselves. We’re reminded by other people. People who see our faults and call us out because of them. We’re all different. We all come in many different shapes and sizes. We know this about each other, and we know that it’s just the way things go; yet people put us down when they don’t like what they see. It’s natural for us to look at someone and instantly form an opinion, that’s just the way we are. It’s another thing to go out of your way to tell someone that they’re fat, that they’re ugly. That’s what gets us. That’s what puts us down. So far down at the bottom of the barrel where we can’t move. We have this sick feeling because we hate some things about ourselves. We hate what we look like, or what we sound like, or how we act.

We’re born the way we are. We don’t get to choose, we don’t ask, we’re just born. We’re raised by the people that create us. We’re raised to believe or to not believe in certain things. We’re raised to like or to not like certain things. I can only hope that there are more people in this world that don’t judge than there is people who do judge. You should never judge a book by its cover. You hear that all the time, and it’s so true. You should always treat others the way that you want to be treated. This is also very true. When someone puts me down I feel like I’m worthless. When I’m called fat I feel like I serve no purpose.

Those of us who don’t like to be judged try hard to make other people see others for who they are instead of what they look like. It just always seems like a constant losing battle. We just want to be able to feel good about ourselves. We want to be able to feel like we matter. Like we’re good people. We can’t always help how we look. Sometimes we just have to deal with it. Maybe we just don’t want to change, and we shouldn’t have to. We shouldn’t have to wake up in the morning and fix our hair or get dressed because we want people to like the way we look. We should wake up in the morning and fix our hair or get dressed because we want to look a certain way for ourselves!

I’m just so sick of being judged by people. I don’t wake up in the morning and ask to be called fat, ugly, or anything like that. I wake up in the morning wanting to be liked by people, wanting to have a good day, and I should be able to have a good day every day. This is exactly what I think until someone calls me something like that. Months ago I had to go to the hospital because I was contemplating suicide. Part of the reason why I was contemplating it was because I was upset with my family, but most of the reason was because I just wanted to fit in and I couldn’t. I couldn’t fit in. From time to time I still think about things, but I know I’ll never hurt myself.

Nobody should have to go through that pain. Nobody should have to be put down by anybody. Nobody should be criticized because of who they are. I am a good person. I am a strong person. I am a beautiful person. This is what I tell myself every day, but the words don’t always get through to me. I want so bad to believe it. I just can’t. It will probably be a long time until I think better about myself. It’s going to take a lot of work for me to build up my self esteem. It could take years. I just hope that when I do build up my self esteem, that it will stay high. That I will be able to feel good about myself every day, all day. I know that I deserve that, and I know that everyone else deserves that too. We are who we are, and everyone needs to realize that.