How do I tell him the truth
About the raw aching in my heart?
I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop
Once I get over my fear to start.
I want to tell him everything,
Every memory I’ve burned in my brain,
And all the emotions he’s caused me,
From love to angst to pain.
From happy to sad to back again,
An endless circle I go,
I wonder if I’ll ever move on
Or if I’ll be stuck in the same-old, same-old.
I must be a masochist,
I’m thirsting for my hurt
That only he seems capable of
Bringing without any work.
How easy it is for him!
To say he’s my best friend,
While I am stuck staring at his lips,
And the dimple in his chin.
His dark brown eyes; tall, lean frame.
The way he smiles at only me.
I wish- with a petty ire-
That I was the only girl his eyes could see.
I’m not the girl who falls in love,
I said I never would.
Seventeen years strong and single,
Because it was just as I understood.
I knew love was crazy,
Unpredictable and wild.
I said I never wanted a husband,
Never wanted a child.
I’d be my own person,
Strong and stubborn and free.
But now I want more than that,
I want to be…
His friend,
His love,
His soul mate,
His crush,
His girlfriend,
His partner,
His everything.
I want him to tell me he loves me,
And to take me out to dance.
I want him to show some interest,
And to give me just one chance.
I scorn him and make jokes,
To blow off how I really feel,
Because… If I pretend it doesn’t exist,
Then maybe it would cease to be real.
He is my best guy friend,
He is the only one worth my time of day…
And, unless he responds soon,
I’ll have nothing more to say.