Lily | Teen Ink

Lily

February 2, 2009
By jesus_saves GOLD, San Antonio, Texas
jesus_saves GOLD, San Antonio, Texas
10 articles 2 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
You know somethings wrong when you can't share your thoughts with your self.
-Sadie P. Jackson


a little child
a big deal
fairy tails
becoming real
a soft little blanket
and red little cheeks
a from that little blanket
little eyes peek
little nose
and little life

little fingers
and little toes
happiness, joy
and little woes
love that reaches
beyond compare
joy thats spreading
every where
a little body
and little soul
a new born life
is here tonight


The author's comments:
Lily is the name of a unborn baby, whose family I know very well. Lily will be born any time now, this is what I imagine her like.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.


on Aug. 28 2011 at 8:48 pm
jesus_saves GOLD, San Antonio, Texas
10 articles 2 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
You know somethings wrong when you can't share your thoughts with your self.
-Sadie P. Jackson

would love too!!! Glad you like them.

on Aug. 21 2011 at 8:26 pm
inkblot13 PLATINUM, Auburn, New York
41 articles 1 photo 160 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If I knew where poems came from, I'd go there"




- Michael Langley, 'Staying Alive'

I've read almost all of your poems and this one is my favorite so far. It was just so cute, I loved it so much. Great job! :D

(PS- could you check out some of my stuff??)


on Jul. 6 2009 at 8:37 pm
HBCdance BRONZE, Ann Arbor, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish." - John Jakes

I absolutely LOVED it! I really like the way you wrote about the baby, and your repitition of the world "little".



You're rhythm was really really good, except on a couple of lines:



a from that little blanket: i'm guessing the "a" is and. i think u should cut a/and out, and just have from that little blanket, so that the number of syllables in that line fits with the rest of the poem.



Other than that TEENIE TINY little thing, the poem is pretty much perfect! Great job!