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Lily
February 2, 2009
a little child
a big deal
fairy tails
becoming real
a soft little blanket
and red little cheeks
a from that little blanket
little eyes peek
little nose
and little life
little fingers
and little toes
happiness, joy
and little woes
love that reaches
beyond compare
joy thats spreading
every where
a little body
and little soul
a new born life
is here tonight
© Elana N., Marblehead, MA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 3 comments.
jesus_saves GOLD said...
on Aug. 28 2011 at 8:48 pm
would love too!!! Glad you like them.
I absolutely LOVED it! I really like the way you wrote about the baby, and your repitition of the world "little".
You're rhythm was really really good, except on a couple of lines:
a from that little blanket: i'm guessing the "a" is and. i think u should cut a/and out, and just have from that little blanket, so that the number of syllables in that line fits with the rest of the poem.
Other than that TEENIE TINY little thing, the poem is pretty much perfect! Great job!
You're rhythm was really really good, except on a couple of lines:
a from that little blanket: i'm guessing the "a" is and. i think u should cut a/and out, and just have from that little blanket, so that the number of syllables in that line fits with the rest of the poem.
Other than that TEENIE TINY little thing, the poem is pretty much perfect! Great job!
