Mama would always keep me up late
And warn me of all your lies.
I never could seem to make sense,
Of the rain that always gathered in mommy’s eyes.
Daddy told me I was flawless yesterday,
But worthless this morning.
And when I didn’t obey,
He left scars no one can see.
Why does mama kiss me on the cheek
And tell me everything will be alright,
Then call nine-one-one on daddy
That same night?
Daddy loves to throw a punch,
Or the landline at me.
He always has me in his clutch,
While I scream “Don’t do it daddy! Please!”
It all feels the same,
Every form of his abuse.
I carry so much personal pain,
Which seems to be his bliss.
Daddy tells me that he loves me,
then leaves for most days.
Just to go see another woman?
Mama tells me it is just a faze.
He draws me in
Then shuts me out.
He loves to create lies
And build a relationship off of doubt.
You make me hide under my bed,
Whenever you lash out.
Maybe you are the reason,
Behind these voices in my head.
When he slams my fingers in the door,
or throws a phone book at my face,
Maybe this isn’t emotional abuse anymore.
I am so broken that I continue to crawl back to you.
Will I forever live in pain?
I have learned that panic attacks turn to self destruction.
So daddy, thank you
For leaving me miserably insane.