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The Conundrum of Man
The Conundrum of Man
Oh great Captain Igrim and his men he did lead
They were wasted with money, and wasted with greed
His colleagues and companions, they all had been lost,
Forever stricken down deep in the frost
Through the icy shores from Norway to Cork
He and his men never did lose their torque,
But it were not from friends, nor from the fiends,
But the money they knew they’d have bursting from seams.
However, one trip trouble sprang up to greet
As the ship went to capsize and the sky unleashed sleet,
The men were screaming then, praying to god above all.
Not one knew that on the hull a beast began to gnaw.
The captain bailed from the lifeboat that he saw,
Getting the heck out of dodge, he gazed over in awe.
The Kraken was tearing the mast from the ship,
Eating his mates with nothing but seawater as dip.
Something awakened in him then, a fury that burned,
And at that one point the great captain returned
As the ship went on sinking, his poor crewmates dying,
The captain was in his office, time he was buying.
He spotted his harpoon, sitting on the wall,
He knew he would have to be the one to end it all,
So the harpoon was snatched, he loaded the gun,
And he went outside his cabin, at a dead run.
He was eye to eye now with the horrible ‘ol beast,
And despite his horrible heart, he liked this one least,
For in any old business, and any old craft,
Captains and crewmates always shared laughs.
The Captain took aim and fired his shot aiming true,
The great beast began to wail so much it were blue,
And down with the ship, the Kraken did sink,
But to the Kraken, great Igrim the captain was linked,
As it all began sinking, deep down to the dark,
Captain Igrim never did lose his spark,
For he had avenged the fallen, his corruption did cease,
And now Captain Igrim dwells in peace.
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This piece was inspired by common sea shanties, and the Ballad of The Alamo by Marty Robbins