yay, a rhyming poem! You kinda lost the rhyme sheme towards the end which was disappointing but I loved the plot/ story behind that poem. Tres cool.

This is fantastic. I know I said that 'Compromise' might have been your best work, but this really rivals it. At the beginning, I could see the simple rhyme scheme and was beginning to worry a little bit, but the whole lightheartedness of the poem contrasted with the dark underlying theme really grasped my attention.   In this poem, you really have a good sense of contrast. The simple and jolly rhyme scheme coupled with a lighthearted setting and jovial characters really does a good job of offsetting the corrupted antagonist and the evil setting that closes the poem. This contrast gives the poem great diversity and intrest level. It's a beautiful technique, and most people make the contrast too drastic, but your subtle progression toward the dark ending is perfect.   I also, as I hinted at earlier, love the progression of this poem. The shift in mood is so natural, that's what makes this poem come to life. In this poem, I felt that you did a fantastic job with your use of punctuation and stanza structure. The weight of the words in the final few stanzas stand alone while the middle and less-climatic stanzas have more exposition.   Overall, excellent work.

well dang! (: haha this is very good! it was kind of suspensful for me, when the boy sped up and tried to walk away. i love how you didn't flat out say what happened to the boy... you left it up to the reader... that's really awesome. good job