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The Squall
To go into the dark swirling mass,
to see all the chaos
surging
throughout the house.
To witness this spiraling whirlwind
consuming
the house, leaving despair
and destruction.
To listen to the sound of her cackling,
spinning and twirling.
She isolates herself in a cyclone
of disjointed thoughts.
To try to communicate with the blank
wall, receiving no answer and falling
deeply
into her wide-eyed stare.
She’s broken, emotionless, helpless.
To walk into the kitchen and see the bottles
of sour ale towered around the dining table, plastic bags trying to eat it away.
To have the smell of ash
trapped within the house, lungs
tightening
at the scent.
To view the Tower of Babel forming
in the kitchen. Plates and bowls
teetering,
silverware soaking in grimy water.
To run away from these sights and smells
for fear of entering
that gloomy mass, the anger
swelling,
the demon reaching out to caress.
To be the child of the storm.
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My experience as a writer is very new. I took a semester long class that taught me how to express myself and my feelings through poetry. I have struggled with major depression and anxiety for several years now, especially because my mom has had problems of her own for as long as I can remember. She has Schizoaffective disorder and PTSD, which usually becomes worse when she starts to drink alcohol. Through poetry, I have been able to talk about my experiences with her and my experience of having to be put into foster care.