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endlessness
do you remember me?
you tilt your head
your little knit hat slides to the side
revealing cobweb wisps of hair
mother's flightless fingers extend and nudge it back
they drift silently to her side and power off
she is not here. it is too hard for her to be here.
i ask again. do you remember me?
your gaze flickers once, twice, with each slow blink
a blink too slow for what was once brilliant shard of glass
and is now pockmarked and smoothed over with time
toughened until it is softened
softened until it is washed away by an implacable sea
there is nothing in this interaction
there is nothing in you
there is nothing in my mother's numbed throat
and there is nothing in the questions that i ask
the preface of a bumbling smile shapes your terrapin mouth
and for a moment, i am hopeful that there is something
no matter how small or frightful
i will take anything
i make the mistake of glancing in your ocean eyes to find it
there is nothing there but endless waves, endless water
endlessness upon endlessness
you do not remember me
but it's okay
we remember you
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My grandmother had severe Alzheimer's in the last few months before she passed away. I remember my mom and I would sit with her in the senior's home and see if she would miraculously recognize us. After a while, my mom gave up and it was just me trying to talk to her. I didn't understand what was happening because I was a kid then, but now I realize how hard it must have been for my mom, to have the person who birthed and raised you recall none of the memories that she once swore to cherish.
It's okay though. We remember her and that's what matters. That's what my grandmother would have been thankful for.