I laugh

I play

I run

I cry

I pretend, but

When i cry,

The tears stream

Like a river, and

Those tears

Are real

They, are a symbol

A symbol of a girl

Who has been hurt

A girl who cried herself to sleep

A girl, whos mothers words

Haunt her

Every minute,

Of every day

Moment to moment

Second by second

Those words

Are echoing

In my head

I don’t show it

But inside I’m hurt

Sometimes, I show it

But only in anger

And I say I’m hurt

But no one believes me

Because I pretend to be strong

I put others things

Before mine

But I don’t act like it

I’m dying, and dreaming

For a mom who loves me

A mom who doesn’t see the flaws

Only the perfections

One who doesn’t use her words

As a weapon

One who loves me,

As her own

And doesn’t favor

One over the other

But my mom

Says mean things

Things i can’t unsee

Things i wish,

She never said.

I cry when

Thinking of a mom

Who loves me,

Because to me,

Its different

One whos honest

And doesn’t cover it up

But, I can’t

Because it wont happen

Because, my mom

Covers it up

Pretends she doesn’t remember

Pretends, she is loving

And cares and

Doesn’t hate me

But I

Remember, and know

But I deny

Deny the pain

Deny the fear,

Deny everything

I‘m just angry

I say I’m angry

But really, I’m done

Done being hurt,

Making everyone's problems mine

Just done

I want to be myself

Not everyone else,

Unhappy, unsafe and real

But I don’t

I help when

I want to cry

I make everyone's problems

Mine, when i have my hands

Full

I pretend

But deep down, I’m a broken

Shattered, heart

Hoping to be found

In the light of someone's darkness.