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Who Should I Be For You
An anxious flutter of her heart
a self-deprecating high
who should she be?
the redundant longing for an answer to a rhetorical question was the only thing she asked and even begged for
because she knew with her whole heart that she would
she would run until her legs ache
she would starve until her ribs peeked through
she would dye, cut, or chop her hair until deemed to stand out
she would become someone he’s capable of loving
even if she frayed; a mirror unrecognizable
because she’s been in love with him
a poison consumed with hope- a hopelessly lost love
and for him she would fill until she loomed over
like a wilting flower aching for a touch of sun
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This poem goes into detail of the extremities caused by the emotion of trying to change oneself to please another, or “become someone capable of their love”.
In this piece, the emotion is one of desperation, despair, and self-harm- all of which seem worth the price in the moment.