Confused

When I try to give myself the gift of bliss,

It seems I only do it to numb myself

When truth rises up,

I let it blow away with the wind

When reality makes sense,

I seal it inside a bottle

Everything I really care about,

Seems to be my worst enemy

All my truth gets sent away

To a deserted and forbidden island,

Turning me into stone

But now when it seems I do care,

And truth comes back with the wind

It only seems the stone gets thicker and thicker,

harder and harder

So tell me, which reality is true?

Angry

My numb hand;

scabbed and dark purple

from burning hot coal,

seems it will perish very soon

There are times I don’t know I am holding the coal;

suggesting that my hand has died already

But who can blame me?

Because I don’t know how to let go of it

Warrior

My heart aches

from pain and fear

Though they try to make me and my life

seem as if it were a crystal stair,

I know my truth

and will never let go of it

For I am a warrior,

Who fights until her end.

Wounded heart

My wounded heart,

sewn up with bandages

and stitches,

aches so much I cannot feel it

Seems so deep down I cannot see it

And my memory withers away,

Whether I am trying to give myself the gift of bliss,

or burdening myself with the sorrow of a lie,

I always do it

a million

little

times

Given up

When truth comes up,

my mind doesn’t bother

It thinks

that is that!

Lying like no other,

Taking no action at all

I begin to wonder,

will I ever be free?