Mental Illnesses Control Part 1 | Teen Ink

Mental Illnesses Control Part 1

December 7, 2021
By Jessishere BRONZE, Chicago,, Illinois
Jessishere BRONZE, Chicago,, Illinois
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And I have taken the road less taken"-Robert Frost


Screaming that’s what the voices are doing. Scratching that’s what I feel like doing to my skin. Everything is causing chaos around me and nobody is listening. Everyone is breathing down my neck causing everyone to turn up on the inside. 


Anxiety is screaming and scratching at my internal organs causing internal bleeding. Scratching at the liver watching everything come trickling out like the trickling of a river. The color slowly shifts from a slow blue color to a normal red. 


Depression is crying out in its shallow voice trying to ask for help but nobody is listening.  He tries to speak louder but his voice is coarse as f*ck. The tears are slowly trickling down their face. Hiding from all of the pain and everyone causing it. 


PTSD is hearing the gunshot echo through its shallow head for the thousandth time. The voice of my father whispering into his ear over and over again forced me on my knees to do the dirty. PTSD screaming for everything to go away, but knowing it won’t.


Bipolar is battling every known emotion known to mankind and womenkind. Everything is racing in and out of his body sending burns, chills and so many other sensations through his body. Trying to focus on one feeling and emotion but his body is not allowing him to.


The suicidal thoughts are racing through my own brain. Telling me it’s time to run and time to die. It’s time to leave this earth for the final time. Allowing the pain and sensations from everything to take over my mind. 


Everything entering my body at once and everything leaving at once. Everything coming through my body leaving through my mouth. I’m screaming to allow everything to leave my body without hurting my own body. Even when I started to scratch my arm up for the thousandth time and make it bleed, I scream out all of my pain and let everything leave for now.


This is my life on a daily basis. Dealing with everything fighting for control.


The author's comments:

TW: abuse, suicide, anxiety

Visit https://www.teenink.com/HealthResources if you or a loved one is feeling depressed, overwhelmed or suicidal. 

 

This is about the mental illnesses I have and how I feel on a daily basis. Next I will talk about how the sensations feel


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