My Cody | Teen Ink

My Cody

December 21, 2021
By Anonymous

My brother is the type of person that sits on the edge of his seat and peppers you with hope as you speak.

He has a special way with words that makes you feel understood, heard, special and this is not just seen in person but carries over to his overcomers blog as well.

But when I look at my brother my eyes drift from his beaming smile to his empty eyes that are alarming, struggling, and dark, and I look at this kid that I have known my whole life, I don’t recognize him

I feel him slowly slipping away as the hospital visits frequent and there is no trace left of him in the house except for his cold room. His untouched bed and his yellow sticky notes, placed carefully on his bedroom door with reasons to stay alive.

My brother has my grandfather's nose, my mothers heart of pure gold and his ancestors' mind.

A mind that changes the lense he views life with and plagues his thoughts. A mind that tricks him into manic episodes and
oh no, the room is spinning
1,2,3,4.1,2,3,4.
4 counts in, 4 counts out. He sees a paramedic, he hears beeping, and he feels his heart rate slow down

Now here I am, writing this at his grave and religiously taking my meds so that my mind doesn't take over me next.


The author's comments:

This piece is incredibly vulnerable, but I want to put it out there because I hope that it will help somebody out of there grieving. I never wrote or even talked about my brother until I took a creative writing class at my highschool. I never even dared to think of him. This class pushed me out of my shell and forced me to face my darkest fears. This is one of the first pieces I wrote about Dominic. I titled this poem "My Cody" because I read a poem called "Cody" about a girl my age and navigating life with an autistic brother. She inspired me to write about my brother. She was extremely real and authentic and it challenged me to write of Dominic therefore calling the poem "My Cody". 


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