you and i
we are babylon
as calum hood once said
“burn too bright now the fires gone,
watch it all fall down, babylon”
both us we were the city
the once prosperous and outstanding city
the never ending city
of babylon
you calling me baby
like in babylon
you and i intertwined made the foundation
of babylon
you and i loved each other far too strong
wars broke down in our heads
and destroyed like the soldiers at babylon
all we wanted was to be as grand
as babylon

but we weren’t
both of us so different yet the same
both of us so broken
like the ruins of babylon
we both needed help
mental help
ill in our heads
you so determined that you were a monster
when you found out i loved you you asked
why? why do you love horrible ugly me?
and all i said was everything
every little portion convoluted into each other
the hurt the beauty
your gardens of babylon
attracted me
and future suitors
into the ongoing war at babylon of you

do you remember the time i retreated into my room?
piping hot tears streaming down my chin onto my neck
wrapping me into my sorrows for you
knees pulled into my chest
all i could think of was you in your bed
in your house
in bolingbrook
near that place
once hopeful place
crying and aching
furiously typing into your email
and i typed
my love how you deserved better than you thought you did
how you were so beautiful in my eyes
how you deserved the whole world
even grander than our city of babylon
but your head just pained
those beautiful vines in the gardens of babylon
we’re twisted
and dark
and destroying themselves from a virus
a virus called self-harm

you were sick
so horribly sick
you should’ve eaten all the feasts in the kingdom at babylon
but you didn’t
you took all that food
and you stole it away from yourself
hurting
you mind telling you no
your stomach telling you yes
a tug of war in yourself

i believe that you and i
we wanted more
we wanted the future plans of babylon
we wanted to be 19 and sharing a dorm
our parents would’ve never thought anything of it
just two girls sharing a dorm
but we were supposed to be two girlfriends sharing a dorm
so in love and wrapped up in our own romanticized world

you coming back from whatever in the world
perhaps just our shared bedroom or
a studio across campus
you coming and wrapping your two warm arms around my waist
you placing your chin in the crook of my neck
you rocking us side to side
pressing small delicate honey type sweet
kisses into my neck and jaw behind my ear
standing on your tippy toes
you were just an inch or too shorter but i still teased

i would turn around to a small lazy smile on your face
lay a smooth loving devoted molasses and caramel kiss on your lips
giggling into it and still swaying
cupping your cherry blossom rosy ambrosia maple syrup slightly chubby cheeks in my palms
never wanting the moment to end
gently laying our twisted bodies against the counter
asking about what you did
why you were gone so long
maybe it was two hours
maybe it was ten minutes
you and i humming a song
one of us continuing
the other whispering sweet nothings into the others’ ear
holding each other because we wanted to stay
to never leave
never cease to love and crave each other like this
wanting to stay so passionate and enveloped into one another's embrace

but all grand things
all fantasies
all fellow babylons
must come to an end
just like ours
i was never set for commitment
still trying to find myself
couldn’t date
too guilty to lie
so all i did and do
is love without labels
just love to the ends of the earth

but you wanted the love from the two 19-year-olds in their college dorm
i wanted that too, desperately
the only difference was you were ready
i was not

so i caused the end of babylon
i distanced myself
figured it out to be hurt
wasn’t one side
wasn’t the other
both of us caused the end
the finale
the battle at babylon
you told me that our whole existence
unnecessary
our love
pointless for you
that you never cared
that you pitied me
that you had sympathy for my emotions
you broke me
we shattered the walls of babylon like spears
but that’s okay
because the future shows that babylons have to be destroyed
they are never meant to last
they give meaningless hope
and kill us all
for no point except to teach
future generations
future versions of us will learn
the tell-tale signs
the fright of loosing another one of us
we were just another self-contained
war of love against each other
we were too powerful the world couldn’t contain us
we
we are the once-almighty destroyed city of babylon