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Name
When my name died she did not fight
She went down elegantly
Falling into beautiful forgotten silence
Though I still see her sometimes
In my mirror
She crawls out from my reflection
And I hold her
She cries into my neck
So I hold her soft body close
She is scared that I do not love her anymore
Somedays, people accuse me of hating her
Days when I hide her behind me
Like I don’t want them to see her
Like she is shameful
On these nights she does not come out
Most nights
She sits like a ghost on my bed
She dances around my room
She holds my hand as we belt showtunes
She is scared she will be forgotten
I do not fight as she is
Though sometimes I feel as though I am
Everytime I become invisible in her
When my dad talks past me to her
Sometimes I think she feels the same
Like she has become invisible
Her frail, small, childish body blocked out by mine
We still sit together every night
Our room crowded with our things
And sometimes just for her, I let things stay
Our hands are intertwined
I read her poems
And she reads mine
Even though my name has died.
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Hi,
This piece is really personal as it is a piece that I took from my own feelings about being trans and changing my name. Thank you so much for giving it a chance.