Happiness - that elusive feeling of weightlessness,

The high you get from holding your breath,

The feeling of being the winner, the boss, the king,

With dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin

Rushing through your brain like white water rapids,

Engulfing your whole body in her iridescent haze.

Happiness is transparently opaque

Everything and nothing all at once,

She invades your life without warning,

Consuming your every waking moment with her magnetic gaze,

Only to leave you empty and bereft when she is gone.

She is the queen of deception,

Her golden crown, always just out of reach.

Masquerading as success, security, sanctity, and social status, 

She lures you in with her seductive smile,

until you’re grasping at straws,

wanting more,

gasping for air.

You can almost touch her, smell her, taste her.

You look for her reflection, eyes wide shut.

Her bitter sweetness stains your palate,

scarring your mouth like a bad tattoo.

And you can't help but feel that she's forever yours.

But she abandons you,

slipping away like sand through your fingers.

Here one moment and gone the next.

Blink and you will miss her.

When I close my eyes,

I can still see her fading face,

But I’ve long forgotten the feeling of her warm embrace.

Her dopamine and serotonin have evaporated into mist,

and I can’t remember what she looks like,

feels like,

tastes like

anymore.

Without her I am

disillusioned, downcast, and dejected,

Both parched and famished,

I hunger for her touch.

My fingertips outstretched I try to claim her

but she's an apparition I simply cannot clutch.

Happiness,

that elusive feeling of weightlessness

I will hold my breath until I find you,

I will conjure you into being,

I will drag you,

Kicking and screaming from the places that you hide.

I will paint you in vivid colors,

so everyone can see you,

Feel you,

Taste you.