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A Hidden Heart

September 27, 2009
By Sunset17 SILVER, New City, New York
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Sunset17 SILVER, New City, New York
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments
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Hidden away like the Holy Grail
You’ll find the answers to your prayers
You see,
A diamond, so brilliant that all must shield their searing eyes
A diamond, so strong it will detect the lies
A diamond, so pure only the chosen can hold

What you are given
Makes or breaks a man
But,
What they’ll never figure out
It’s not how to take it
It’s about how to earn it

She’s not Aphrodite
She won’t give it all away
You want what’s guarded most
Well,
You stand before Zeus on judgment day
If you dishonor, struck down you shall

Surrounded by moats
And hundred foot walls
Inside the maze
Locked away,
is the prize
Few men venture after
For the stakes are high
The price is death to hell
Are you brave enough
To love and cherish
An
Independent
Careful
Strong
Beautiful
Loving girl

It’s hard to catch one who never falls
She likes only a few
And trusts even less
For deep inside
You know why
She has locked all away
Fears she hides
All too real
Disappointment blinds her path
So strewn with deception, lies and greed
She has built her fort
For protection in mind
With a few accepted to enter

© Brynne L., Williamsburg, VA

The author's comments:
This was how i felt for a long time on relationships and i still have a hard time trusting.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 19 comments.

Sunset17 SILVER said...
on Mar. 18 2010 at 7:50 pm
Sunset17 SILVER, New City, New York
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments
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I love feedback on my poems so read and respond!!! the comments will all be read and they help me to become a better writer!! Thanks..
brdcgirl26 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 7 2009 at 8:58 am
brdcgirl26 BRONZE, New City, New York
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments
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this is really good! I keep re-reading this!!
adastraabextra GOLD said...
on Nov. 1 2009 at 8:25 pm
adastraabextra GOLD, Moonstone, California
17 articles 120 photos 110 comments
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this is just absolutely amazing, i honestly loved it and it kept my interest. great work. :)
Sunset17 SILVER said...
on Oct. 26 2009 at 6:56 am
Sunset17 SILVER, New City, New York
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments
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thanks you guys!! i just started using this website and this was my first poem put up here so im uploading more if you want to read more.
Kashif SILVER said...
on Oct. 16 2009 at 11:34 am
Kashif SILVER, Jeddah, Other
7 articles 0 photos 7 comments
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The poem is really well-written and goes deep. It is filled with hidden meanings that makes it a special piece of work.

My only suggestion is that the flow of the poem could be better. Since you strive to write with a rhyme scheme, the flow becomes important.

But on the whole, it is a really great poem, and very well worth reading.
June Baby said...
on Oct. 12 2009 at 2:37 pm
I find myself re reading your poem and I am really moved each time I do---Thanks for an honest view that speaks for me , as well
cityslicker said...
on Oct. 12 2009 at 12:52 pm
Remarkably Brilliant. An apparent talent ahead of her time.
KOOL CAT said...
on Oct. 11 2009 at 8:46 pm
I know that most teens can share what you are expressing ---But you have done it better than many could--Once you believe that you can trust more there will be those that may disappoint you --but I believe that many more will be a refreshing surprise for you
mamameigs said...
on Oct. 10 2009 at 5:27 pm
Very nice...I especially love the 1st and 5th stanzas.
susanmarq said...
on Oct. 9 2009 at 10:03 pm
I especially love the last two paragraphs. And it's true - putting yourself out there and trusting people can result in pain sometimes. But more often than not it's worth the risk, because what you give comes back to you many times over! Really nice job!
Sunset17 SILVER said...
on Oct. 9 2009 at 4:54 pm
Sunset17 SILVER, New City, New York
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments
View profile
i hope to get my work pubished so if you could vote - which is by rating it at the top of the page- that would be a huge help... thank you so much=]
June Baby said...
on Oct. 9 2009 at 8:05 am
I thank you for helping me --Your poem takes on many different meanings depending on when I read it---but I can relate to what you are expressing ---and I see that I am not alone
Sunset17 SILVER said...
on Oct. 8 2009 at 7:35 pm
Sunset17 SILVER, New City, New York
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments
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thank you guys for your comments its nice to hear when you do something well.=]
amyxu said...
on Oct. 8 2009 at 7:17 pm
This is a very mysterious poem. At places it's hard to understand, but it is well-thought-out overall. Nice work :)
June Baby said...
on Oct. 8 2009 at 6:58 am
This is a powerful and thought provoking poem that could speak for many of us going through a period of angst--Thank you for the beauty of your ideas and the inner strength you show that others may want to emulate --and now we know we are not alone---you make it seem thatvthere is light at the the end of the tunnel
thekid said...
on Oct. 8 2009 at 6:35 am
Wow - wonderful, thought provoking and it seems one of those walls might be shrinking a little...;^)

nice work!
OctoberFog said...
on Oct. 8 2009 at 4:36 am
I sense this poem is merely a front, disguising real, true feelings, pondered, ultimately dismissed, unbeknownst to you even as your thoughts came to be, this poem. Powerfully done.
Sunset17 SILVER said...
on Oct. 7 2009 at 6:35 pm
Sunset17 SILVER, New City, New York
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments
View profile
aww thank you btw i love your screen name martyrockman
martyrockman said...
on Oct. 7 2009 at 6:05 pm
trust is a funny and sometimes a wonderful thing--a diamond is but a metaphor for what you feel--it is not that hard, but only relative to other things--let yourself go and trust.