My Father | Teen Ink

My Father

October 11, 2009
By Stephanie Cheng SILVER, Palm Desert, California
Stephanie Cheng SILVER, Palm Desert, California
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

There is a man I know, and I can not—
I will not forgive him for what he has done.
For he has scarred me, but not merely with his actions—no.
He has gone as far as to lash out at me with his words;
tempting my anger, taunting my very being.
This man is one I know quite well,
so well that I could recognize him no matter the distance.
However not by appearance I daresay,
but by the manner of so he acts,
and by the way in which he spits in contempt.
This man I will never forget,
for he has burned his very essence into my soul.
This man is a part of me;
he is the scar on my heart that refuses to heal
for he is the one that made it so.
He feeds my anger though I see him no longer.
He is here, there, everywhere. Haunting my shadows,
mocking my attempts at whatever it was that he destroyed.
For I will never know, it is no longer a part of me.
Instead it is gone, lost in the abyss of what should have been.
And because of this man,
I will never know what it is like to feel loved by thy father.
I shall never understand exactly what happiness is.
But I will know and understand the feeling of disappointment,
and how it radiates from thy person though they spout nothing but anger.
I will know what it is like to keep from crying out in pain
because should one sound escape my lips, the pain will come down harder.
Harder and harder until all that is left
is the feeling of nothing.
Because of this man,
I understand why there is so much hatred in this world.
I know why there is anger without reason,
pain without thought,
judgment without clarity,
discipline without affection
and hatred without explanation.

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