What’s the word man? It’s I love College!
Don’t you know the latest fad’s the launching pad of knowledge?
All the geniuses are there, it’s a must-do for your future
They tighten all your hems and seems and all without a suture,
It’s the best man; there’re parties every night,
A drunken fest man, so get your drinking right,
Know how to take your shots, and do a keg-stand,
Know how to puff your dank, don’t mess with regs man,
Know how to pull a s***k, with nice long legs man,
This s**** from dusk to dawn, so eat your eggs man,

Come to college man,
This is the safe plan,
Don’t go and get a job,
Just come and be a slob,
Come out for four years,
Its just blood, sweat, and beers,

This is the incubator of our future leaders,
Where we all learn just how to be the very best of cheaters,
Where there’s 2 dozen peakers for each dozen of the readers,
Where you can just blend in because the rooms are big as theaters,
So what you say, you High School grad, you wanna be a lawyer?
Well trick some pr*** to do your work and pimp it like Tom Sawyer
And if you take the honest route, then school is still a joke,
Study for an hour or two and still there’s time to toke,
We’re pulling A’s on finals after missing every class,
Just don’t over-sleep the final test, 'cause then you may not pass,

So come to college man,
This is the safe plan,
Don’t go and get a job,
Just come and be a slob,
Come out for four years,
Its just blood, sweat, and beers,

And if you’re not the school type, its okay, just take some adderall,
They’ll keep you going through the night, prescriptions, they don’t matter ya’ll,
Just pick your future life-long work from a title in the catalog,
If none stick out as your true quirk, it really doesn’t matta' dog,
Pick business, COMPS, or engineering,
Replace other hopes in your heart with a clearing
Don’t assume you’re special if your dream job doesn’t make their list
You’ll prolly fail tryin’, without college, and then you’ll be pissed
So come and play against the field, a dunce can even make it here,
Then laugh cause you will know, in cap and gown as they all cheer,
that
College caters to the weak, and intoxicates the strong,
So skim a book, and slam a beer, and rip another bong