Welcome to America | Teen Ink

Welcome to America

April 1, 2010
By icefaerie10111 GOLD, Exeter, Rhode Island
icefaerie10111 GOLD, Exeter, Rhode Island
12 articles 8 photos 25 comments

Welcome to America: A land of opportunity
where a man on Welfare can make more than a public school teacher.
Welcome to America: A land paved in gold
where we are in trillions of dollars of debt.
Welcome to America: "Liberty and Justice for all":
where our pledge does not include minors or homosexuals;
where it is not applied to the oppressed and those in debt.
Welcome to America: A land for the people
where the cooperation is clearly a person as you and me, from a political aspect.
Welcome to America: ...and by the people
where you can buy legislative power from a governor in Illinois.
Welcome to America: A effort against the "Drug War"
where we can't even keep our police officers clean.
Welcome to America: Where people and legislature see eye to eye;
where a democracy and a republic clash heads.
Welcome to America: Separation of Church and State
where we have only had two non-Protestant Presidents.
Welcome to America: A land of freedom
where women no rights until 1848, and could not vote until 1920;
where African-Americans were isolated from society until the 1960s;
where American Citizens of the same nation had to kill each other to abolish slavery.
Welcome to America: A Nation of peace
where we are always at war.
Welcome to America: A Nation united
where states are divided.
Welcome to America: A Nation of tolerance
where "the people" see Islam in the government as more of a problem than economic reform.
Welcome to America: A Democracy
where we win votes by scandals and controversy, not political action or issues.
Welcome to America: Does the system work for you?
where fitting into the system is more important than improving it.
Welcome to America: Where several police officers were killed in a cafe a couple of weeks ago;
where no one noticed because they were too preoccupied with the fact that Tiger Woods cheated on his wife.
Welcome to America: Most politicians one were lawyers;
where it seems being a celebrity gives you power equal to that.

Welcome to America where many people who read this article never got past the second line because they would rather ignore the issues than resolve them.



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This article has 206 comments.


LauWind BRONZE said...
on Jun. 16 2012 at 12:14 pm
LauWind BRONZE, Cream Ridge, New Jersey
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let small minds tell you that your dreams are too big."

This piece is absolutely amazing. Not only does it follow a super effective repetitive pattern but it is also the complete truth! 
Thank you for this, we need more people like you!
Great job!

on Jun. 14 2012 at 5:38 pm
jackiee129 PLATINUM, Kent, Connecticut
28 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It makes me happy when I see teenage girls who clearly don't fit in, gives me hope that the future might still have personality" - Haley Williams

“You are not your bra-size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your calves. You are not your hair color, your skin color, nor are you a shade of lipstick. Your shoe-size is of no consequence. You are not defined by the amount of attention you get from males, females, or any combination thereof. You are not the number of sit-ups you can do, nor are you the number of calories in a day. You are not your mustache. You are not the hair on your legs. You are not a little red dress. You are no amalgam of these things. You are the content of your character. You are the ambitions that drive you. You are the goals that you set. You are the things that you laugh at and the words that you say. You are the thoughts you think and the things you wonder. You are beautiful and desirable not for the clique you attend, but for the spark of life within you that compels you to make your life a full and meaningful one. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but for the volume of the soul it carries.”

This article rings true and is very powerful and thought provoking. I love that you tackled such a controversial topic and brought up a lot of issues most Americans are too afraid to face.

As for the writing, i believe it could have flowed a lot more nicely, and there were some glaring spelling and grammatical errors. I did like the "Welcome to America" lines, they sumed up the point very well.


on Jun. 13 2012 at 10:34 pm
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

While it's a good idea to raise these issues, I think the tone could have used a serious attidtude adjustment.  It sounds whiney.  I don't think the line about how women and african americans didn't have equal rights until the 1900's actually weakened this piece.  It belittles the steps America as a whole has taken- how does that encourage further progress?  I can imagine in many years a similar article with the line: "Welcome to America:  A country that was not free of meth until 2137."  Dates aside, ridding the country of illegal drigs would be a great thing, and the beginning of equalization of the people was a great thing too.

Overall, I think this article had a great purpose, but could use some serious work on execution of the thoughts.

on Jun. 13 2012 at 12:55 pm
Sunshine15 PLATINUM, Modi&#39in, Other
20 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, nothing else ever has. ~Margaret Mead

I see what you're getting at (and that last line was particularly witty) but don't you think that you're being a little harsh?

The United States may be far from perfect, but if you ask me, it's the best country out there. I live in the Middle East, and believe me when I say if some of the countries here would TRY to be more like America (like Syria for instance), we'd all have a better life.


on Jun. 13 2012 at 12:07 pm
AcrossTheUniverse BRONZE, Hondo, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Go confidentally in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've always imagined." -Thoreau

Controversial and biased (though these qualities aren't necessarily negative). It feels overwrought with emotion and not refined enough, but who am I to judge when half of my comments are those qualities? I like it even despite its forceful perspective.

on Jun. 13 2012 at 12:07 pm
AcrossTheUniverse BRONZE, Hondo, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Go confidentally in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've always imagined." -Thoreau

Controversial and biased (though these qualities aren't necessarily negative). It feels overwrought with emotion and not refined enough, but who am I to judge when half of my comments are those qualities? I like it even despite its forceful perspective.

on Jun. 11 2012 at 8:17 pm
StrangeJade PLATINUM, Relative Obscurity, California
36 articles 17 photos 389 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it." - Life of Pi

Truthful, certainly, but a little too pop-culture-pat at times. And it was unclear, interestingly unclear, to me what your views on the problems presented are. Are you unbiased? I doubt that, but if it is so, I applaud you. And it is good at times to be unbiased on these things, but unless you show a deeper understanding of the problems with America, you sound less thoughtful than you might, and I do not doubt that you are a very thoughtful person.

on Jun. 11 2012 at 7:55 pm
BriannaSinger GOLD, Sacramento, California
18 articles 1 photo 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My karma ran over my dogma" -bumper sticker

This feels more like a list of complaints than an uplifting poem or search for solutions

on Jun. 11 2012 at 4:57 pm
foreverlove21 BRONZE, Plano, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind."

wow. this is amazing.

babysteps GOLD said...
on Jun. 11 2012 at 10:34 am
babysteps GOLD, Wayland, Massachusetts
11 articles 5 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind."
~Mahatma Gandhi

This is an amazing piece of writing!!!

on Jun. 10 2012 at 11:26 am
comfortablynumb7, Charlotte, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
" You want too much. you expect too much then when your hero disappoints you, your poor little heart gets crushed" <another quote>"If you don't earn respect when you're alive, you don't deserve it when you're dead."

Where is the LOVE button

on Jun. 9 2012 at 1:44 pm
well written, but i disagree with a lot of it. America was founded a Christian nation-we have freedom of religion because the founders didn't want to repeat what originally made them leave england. America is not a democracy but a republic(recite the Pledge of Allegience in your head). I think minors should be oppressed to an extent because nowadays, most are not mature enough to be allowed to do everything that most adults are mature enough to do. It's like letting a ten year old play with beads, but slapping a baby's hand when he reaches for them. Other things you mentioned were very true and need to be taken care of like the nation's debt.

klsmith BRONZE said...
on Jun. 9 2012 at 9:51 am
klsmith BRONZE, Belleville, Kansas
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment
whre is the like botton

on Jun. 9 2012 at 9:07 am
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments

Look, we can't have every person killed in the line of action become famous or whatever. There are simply too many armed forces deaths. We focus on paying attention to singers, authors, actors because they influence culture. And there aren't a lot of them that are really up there.

 

But I see what you mean. I still remember when Coretta Scott King died, and a few weeks later everyone forgot about it, when the year previous or maybe two years ago some female celebrity died and they were still talking about it.


on Jun. 9 2012 at 9:01 am
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments
People do say God Bless Sweden.... but it's in Swedish....

on Jun. 9 2012 at 8:58 am
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments
Agreed.                

on Jun. 8 2012 at 2:28 pm
tammysaurus101, NYC, New York
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything has been figured out, except how to live." - Jean-Paul Sartre

a great poem indeed... very hardcore and to the truth. i loved how u put no bs in this just total truth...and some people have a hard time realizing that these are the general problems of america. 

on Jun. 5 2012 at 3:39 pm
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments
I had to mispell things to get over TI's ban.

on Jun. 5 2012 at 3:38 pm
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments
WTA 3: Liberty and Justice for All does mean Liberty and Justice for all. However, the fact that people are biased doesn't mean that the law is biased. Fact is, the resistance to the new era with emerging gys is understandable. The Bi.ble speaks against gys (Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve), and, frankly, whether people like it or not, the majority of people in the USA are Chr.istians, Je.ws, or Mus.lims, who all happen to believe the first few chapters of the Old Testament, since they are Abrhamic religions. Not saying I agree, but it's true. Evolution is also opposed to gys. And minors should be restricted. It is impossible to protect everybody from every injustice; but we have law enforcement to at least put up a fight.

on Jun. 5 2012 at 3:35 pm
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments

WTA 11: I don't even get this one.



WTA 12: Again, Islam is unjustly identified with terrorism. It's sad, but true.



Last WTA: Some people don't read the article because they just don't want to read the article. Not because they want to ignore problems. Just because they don't want to read the article. But hey, they didn't read the end of the article, so they don't know you're ridiculing them behind their backs.