Sometimes I wonder if he cares
Sometimes I wonder if he means the things he says he does
Sometimes I wonder how life would be without you in it
But mostly, I wonder if we were meant to be

Would he still smile at the warm sunshine even when the wind is blowing
Would he laugh at old memories and kick himself in the face for letting me go
Or would he forgive and forget
Instead of remember and miss

Would he tell his mother how horrible I am
Or would he remain quiet and calm
Passive and unaggressive

How about the reminder that would be left
The painting
The C.D.
The strand of blondish-brown hair across his bed
How would he react
With love, regret, remorse, or hatred

When the wind blows through his hair will he remember when I rode on his dirt bike
How I laughed when his hair was windswept
On the brightest, glorious days when the farm is peaceful will he remember us lying beneath the pine trees?
Talking and chatting for hours about life
How about when he stole my flip flop, and I laughed for no reason

The tender moment in his bedroom when I laid my head on his chest and said:
“I can hear your heartbeat.”
And he said:
“Then you hear how it flutter for you.”

Would he miss me?
Would he cry?
Would he laugh?

Would he love again the same way that he has loved me?
Sometimes I wonder if he’ll remember
Sometimes I wonder if he really means the things he says
But mostly, I don’t know how I would live without him in my life