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They Told Me
May 7, 2010
They told me I
Would be alright
If I closed my eyes
Took them as my light
They told me I
Would be just fine
If I held their hand
Let their will replace mine
And when the heady fog
Slowly fades, disappears
The single thought burst open in flames –
Where
Where is the hand
That guided me through?
Where are the words
That told me just what to do?
A knife in the back
Twisted hard, twisted deep!
A slap in the face
Unbelief, unbelief!
And I know –
I never should
Have swallowed their lies
Cause now on my own
Tell me how --
How can I stand?
© Lauren M., Marblehead, MA
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This article has 2 comments.
Shannon_Bananon said...
on May. 25 2010 at 4:34 pm
Wow... powerful. I love the way the ending was driven.
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments
Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous
Oooh, your rhyming skills are fabulous. It's hard to build up enough expertise to rhyme without difficulty. (And a good vocabulary.) Nice poem. I really liked the emotion behind it.
The only thing I think needs some tweaking is the last stanza. I don't know if I read it wrong, but all of your poem was so easy to read and flowing until that line. I had to stop and think about how you were trying to make those words go together and rhyme. Took away from the impact, but that's just me.