Once Upon | Teen Ink

Once Upon

July 1, 2010
By haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments

Pen to paper is where it all begins,
They wove a story of distressed damsel meets charming prince,
He swept her off her feet with promises of happyendings,
And the inkblotted the edges of a slice of loose leaf paper,
At the part where the dragon swooped in with purplesmokebreath,
And the prince tried to use his words to save her because he would neverleave and alwaysbethere,
But these words which were once so full of promise began to blendtogether,
As the prince became a cowardly knight and left behind foreverandalways in exchange for see you next fall,
The poor damsel couldn’t understand why a sea of salt overcame her vision,
He almost turned around as she cried out youpromised! Ilovedyou!
But he couldn’t make sense of these words any longer,
Two confused hearts blendtogether but apart running down a windshield,
Two teardrops escaped from the same cloud which had been combined for a splitsecond,
But now run on opposite lines racing to the bottom nevertomeet again,
So the ink ran out of the pen and just as she was about to closethebook,
A much stronger damsel was met with an overwhelming urge to flip the page,
She starts a new chapter on her own without a princetosave her,
And her raindrop gains speed and plummets into new territory.



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This article has 6 comments.


on Aug. 11 2010 at 7:48 am
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
thank you and i will most definetely check out your work! =]

isela BRONZE said...
on Aug. 10 2010 at 7:01 pm
isela BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"live like your diying" OR "the past is history the future is a mystery but this moment is a gift that is why it is called present"

i like it i do agree the flow needs a little work but it was interesting checkout mine im a new writter as well

on Jul. 26 2010 at 3:36 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
thankyou! haha yeah I agree the flow was a little rocky it was my first time trying out the no-space-between-words thing. Thank you for the feedback! =]

on Jul. 26 2010 at 3:34 pm
haventy0uheard PLATINUM, Kings Park, New York
28 articles 0 photos 186 comments
thank you! =]

on Jul. 26 2010 at 10:43 am
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

OOH!!! I LOVE this one. Very cool, very cool, very cool. Nicely done. The only suggestion I have is that you have a better flow to your poem. Just a little more rhythm... that's all. Still, really liking this one.

Lonleydandy said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 7:25 am
I really like this :D