every word
is so small
meaningless
I try
to pull across the page
with so much effort
you
but you won't come
you dig your heels into the dirt
a stubborn horse
refuse to let yourself
be tugged
tugged into words
all words
I can't feel you
anymore
I won't pick a sunflower
and play the silly childrens game
where you pluck off all the petals
leaving it naked and bare
ashamed
to find out if you love me
because
I know the answer
I know it far too well for my taste
no
no more questions
no more doubts
each day you only hate me more
and I hate me more too
pickles in a jar
frozen and suspended
I wish I could rewind the hand on the clock
a day
a week
that would be enough
I can see your smile
but I can not hear your laugh
a frozen picture
our friendship's ugly lies
buried in the garden
beneath the rosebushes
will decay
free up space
loosen the belt digging into both our necks
a noose with a fray
the bricks in the wall are uneven
and the poems I throw into the wind
blow back in my face
unwanted
and still
you refuse
to be pulled into words