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Desire

December 13, 2010
By Cuore GOLD, Saint Augustine, Florida
More by this author
Cuore GOLD, Saint Augustine, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be the change you wish to see- Ghandi

Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable, but that my dears is called cannibalism and is highly frowned upon in most societies.- Willy Wonka

Bright lights often blind those who can't see. ~

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Blood red lips smile at me
Taunting; teasing
Grinning with glee-filled malice
What does she want this grinning beast?
What does this terrible beauty desire?
I ask this of her and she replies thus

“Desire? Desire. Desire is I, but what I desire is you.”

With this she laughs
White teeth flash silver
Her eyes insane
They bore into mine
She grabs my wrist
Pulling me under

Desire has me now

© Victoria W., Arcadia, CA

The author's comments:
I just came up with this off the top of my head. PLEASE RATE AND COMMENT!!! I do not care how harsh you are, just tell me what you did or did not like about my poem and any suggestions you have for changing it.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.

TashaSunny said...
on Jan. 5 2011 at 7:36 pm
I like it. I think it is well written and I like the original sentence, but I would not have disliked the 1st one Sessai mentions.  The idea would work well inside of another story too.
Cuore GOLD said...
on Jan. 3 2011 at 7:52 pm
Cuore GOLD, Saint Augustine, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be the change you wish to see- Ghandi

Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable, but that my dears is called cannibalism and is highly frowned upon in most societies.- Willy Wonka

Bright lights often blind those who can't see. ~

View profile
Thanks! It would sound better that first way you mentioned it.
Sessai GOLD said...
on Jan. 3 2011 at 4:06 pm
Sessai GOLD, Hollister, Florida
14 articles 1 photo 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
I dislike hypocrites. Especially when they are hypocritical against hypocrites.~
Walking with demons is be easier than walking with angels~

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I like it! I just wanted to say that I've been experiementing with different ways of writing sentences and found this sentence extremely fun to use - 'I ask this of her and she replies thus'

You could also write-

I ask of her this and thus she replies

Or-

I ask her of this, and and thus she replies...

ect. ect. ect. You get the picture 

I thought this was interesting. :) And I really liked this by the way