Negativity

They call it a lifestyle choice
And that you could be positive if you tried
It's something you control
And you will always have full power over your attitude

But I tell them that their wrong
Negativity is more then that
It is a sickness
a horrible sickness with no medicine and no cure

Do you think I choose to act the way I do?
Do you think I enjoy thinking dark and saddening thoughts?
Do you think I like to ruin my day and say things to myself that hurt?
Well, of course not

It's just another sickness swept along in the gene pool
Some get lucky and receive nothing
But others like me aren't so lucky
And now I have to carry on with my life dragging this secret deep within my shadows

I ask you all to please not judge me and others who share this sickness
This is just one big mental disease
And we have no control over it
We can try to be as positive as we can
But every now and then negativity is going to slip out from under us

Please don't call us head cases
I've heard those words all too much
They don't stop this disease from spreading to our minds
They ignite the flames and make it grow like wild fire
Until we have reached breaking point and are unstoppable

Believe me
I know this all to well...

I have cried the tears of imperfection
I have kicked myself until I was down
I told myself I wasn't good enough at anything
And that I will never amount to anything
I have said that everyone hates me and that I will never be loved

And all the while as I am in denial with myself
The ones I thought cared about me were never there
They gave up on me
They thought I was a big joke that didn't want to change
They yelled at me to get a life and stop caring about what others will think
And to stop being stupid and acting this way or else they'd be done and would leave my life
They all gave up on me and now I have no one
So I ask you to please not give up on me
Don't give up on me and others like me
We don't choose to live this way
Like I said it's just another sickness
That we have to learn to live with
And it's hard for us
So don't judge us and don't run away
Because we need you
We need you to not give up on us so that we won't give up on ourselves