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Puck Farm
August 15, 2011
Puck Farm, to you, may just be a place
To me it is where my Nana lives
Where my cousins, uncles, and aunts gather
And when I was younger,
Puck Farm was filled with magic and adventure
My cousins and I defeated dragons,
Captured forts
And fought in great water balloon wars
On Christmas Eve we would wait for Santa
To visit us in the night
Now that we are older
The dragons lay dormant
The forts are abandoned
And the water stopped splashing
With every year the magic is waiting
And I hold on,
To the magic of Puck Farm
© Elizabeth B., Wichita Falls, TX
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This article has 32 comments.
BetweenWorks SILVER said...
on Sep. 15 2011 at 6:46 pm
thanks im glad you liked it
S. said...
on Sep. 5 2011 at 7:28 pm
Liked it it was showing how some things lose their magic as we grow older :) 5 stars
backyardheart BRONZE said...
on Aug. 27 2011 at 5:15 pm
Very lovely. It's a personal poem, yet can still speak to anyone who's ever had a sacred childhood place. The childhood magic versus the mature perspective on Puck Farm is a nice touch. Great work.
Myvoice4change SILVER said...
on Aug. 26 2011 at 8:27 pm
I like this and I can relate to it a bit.
divingforreality GOLD said...
on Aug. 23 2011 at 11:43 pm
I love the short story feel to it.
BetweenWorks SILVER said...
on Aug. 23 2011 at 9:12 pm
Thanks! I really tried to capture the feeling of a perfect moment as a kid in this and how it changes as time goes on
BetweenWorks SILVER said...
on Aug. 23 2011 at 9:09 pm
Thanks Im glad you liked it
leafy said...
on Aug. 23 2011 at 6:35 pm
i like this, and yeah, its a bit cute, but you can also feel something behind it too. the flow is also nice, keep up the good work!
SecretFlame PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 23 2011 at 6:01 pm
This was fun, and adorable. I liked the flow and message. Very cute, and yet I could feel the meaning behind it. Great job!
BetweenWorks SILVER said...
on Aug. 21 2011 at 11:18 pm
Thanks and thats what it felt like when I was there.
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Aug. 21 2011 at 10:34 pm
Yeah. i completely see this being a prologue! I think that this is a wonderful poem! Glad i read it. :)
BetweenWorks SILVER said...
on Aug. 21 2011 at 10:24 pm
When I wrote this my grandmother was try to tell everyone why she wouldnt sell puck farm. When she read this she was over joyed to see that someone understood why.
BetweenWorks SILVER said...
on Aug. 21 2011 at 10:19 pm
When I first wrote this I was thinking about writing short stories about my time there and this be a prologue so that might be why I didn't add more. Thank a lot for your tips though and your review it means alot to me.
PhoenixCrossing GOLD said...
on Aug. 21 2011 at 10:15 pm
This is really cute :) I understand what you mean by missing your childhood!
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Aug. 21 2011 at 10:11 pm
i really like how you are talking about your memories. i dunno, it just comes across with such emotion and has great realism to it. i agree that maybe you could expand it a bit. describe what you did some more, but the simplicity is also nice. so it is up to you if you get some inspiration on this and you want to add more or not. i also think you could add some commas at the end of the lines to seperate the things you did, it might help the flow. Overall, GREAT job!!!!! :)))
i think some figurative language in the beginning would have helped the beginning a lot. right now it feels like you're just stating what happened but if you add more imagery it could help a lot. what i mean by imagery is talking about how clear the water felt in the water balloons or how the sun felt on the back of your neck or the pride you felt when you captured that fort. hope this helped and could you read my poem? it's the only one i have on my profile.
ohheyyyelli SILVER said...
on Aug. 19 2011 at 2:04 pm
I think the beginning could've used a bit more flow, but overall it was good. I absolutely love the last verse!
This kind of reminds me of my poem "Forever Friends".
Good job(:
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