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A New Name

August 16, 2011
By ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
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ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
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A delicate curling of my lip
Just like Christmas ribbon
A slow flick of my tongue
Feeling soft and easy
The sound from my mouth
Starts the butterflies in my belly
It forms like a ring of smoke
And floats into the sky
The moment it turned to spoken word
I knew it meant beginning

© Jon G., Bethesda, MD

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 12 comments.

Sarahhhhhhh BRONZE said...
on Aug. 29 2011 at 3:52 pm
Sarahhhhhhh BRONZE, Malden, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The silence depressed me. It wasn&#039;t the silence of silence. It was my own silence.&quot; <br /> - Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

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Yeah no prob! :)
ohheyyyelli SILVER said...
on Aug. 29 2011 at 3:36 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
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You are absolutely right about the message! Those were my exact feelings put into this. It completely slipped my mind that spoken word is a form of poetry, but now that you said it, it's all I can think about. I don't really like "The moment I spoke it", but I'll change it to something similar. Thanks! (:
Sarahhhhhhh BRONZE said...
on Aug. 29 2011 at 11:58 am
Sarahhhhhhh BRONZE, Malden, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The silence depressed me. It wasn&#039;t the silence of silence. It was my own silence.&quot; <br /> - Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

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This is beautiful, I love how symbolic it is. Personally, I thought of the feeling you get when you're intoduced to a new guy you're interested in, and just his name conjures up all these new-beginning-what-if feelings. So beautiful - love the last line. I'm not too crazy about using "spoken word" - words are at a premium in such a short poem, the phrase seems a little redundant, and spoken word is a genre of poetry so that's confusing. To avoid the clutter - maybe "The moment I spoke it" or something similar. Just a thought.

Very well done :)

ohheyyyelli SILVER said...
on Aug. 28 2011 at 4:14 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
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Aw, thank you so much!
ChocoMint SILVER said...
on Aug. 27 2011 at 4:43 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

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&quot;Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time.&quot; - Anonymous <br /> <br /> &quot;Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.&quot; - Anonymous

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I love the way you don't say what you are explaining in the poem. The title says it all and the poem is just one of many definitions!  I love it and think it would be great for your college portfolio!  =+)
ohheyyyelli SILVER said...
on Aug. 27 2011 at 2:25 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
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I see what you mean, but I think the point of poetry is to find your own meaning in it, relate it to yourself, but I definitely understand your point, just don't know how I can fix it, and I actually rather like it how it is lol. Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate it!
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 27 2011 at 3:17 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
&lrm;&quot;I&rsquo;m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don&rsquo;t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world.&quot; - Beyonc&eacute;

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Well, I like this poem, maybe because I like to experiment on names. Anyway, this is short but all the more great!!! Keep it up...
BetweenWorks SILVER said...
on Aug. 26 2011 at 9:00 pm
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

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I think this poem can be mixed up with other meanings. Its a good poem but mixed up part is a problem
ohheyyyelli SILVER said...
on Aug. 23 2011 at 7:02 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
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Yeah, I see how that can get mixed up! Thank you(:
casielynnxoxo SILVER said...
on Aug. 23 2011 at 4:28 pm
casielynnxoxo SILVER, Pasadena, Maryland
6 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You&#039;ll never fully understand someone, unless you are them.&quot;

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Oh, I understand now. The first time reading it, I thought it was a literal, new name. Haha. I love the first two lines.
ohheyyyelli SILVER said...
on Aug. 22 2011 at 10:51 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
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All of the lines are pretty much about the way me speaking the new name felt, and the name doesn't literally translate to beginning, but how I can feel it's the beginning of something, you know? Hope that clarifies! (:
casielynnxoxo SILVER said...
on Aug. 22 2011 at 11:34 am
casielynnxoxo SILVER, Pasadena, Maryland
6 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You&#039;ll never fully understand someone, unless you are them.&quot;

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I like the first two lines, they are really good. I don't understand how the name fits into the poem though, can you explain that to me please? I do like this poem a lot though  :)